After reading Pete Wells’ scathing — and hilarious — review of Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar in The New York Times, EWers Denise Warner, Erin Strecker, and Lanford Beard jumped at the chance for a night in Flavor Town. So was it really as bad as Wells’ made it out to be? Well read our post-dinner conversation and watch our reactions to some of the food below!
Denise: Okay! So Guy’s!
Erin: BLAND ALERT!
Denise: I was going to ask what the first thing that came to your mind was, but you beat me to it!
Erin: Denise, here’s a fact that Lanford can corroborate: I have NO TASTE when it comes to being a foodie.
Denise: You said as much last night.
Erin: I’m very easy to please and I very genuinely thought that all the food was really, really bland. Can we do this dish by dish? Because I have some feelings about the nachos. Namely: Where were they? Because I just got some chips with lettuce.
Denise: And grey meat! And some hidden salami — who does that?
Erin: I’m unclear what your appetizer was: Fish tacos?
Denise: Sashimi tacos. They tasted like salsa.
Erin: They had more flavor than the nachos
Denise: That’s not saying much. Lanford had the pretzel chicken fingers?
Erin: Yes, which was good, in that it was different, but not good, in that it didn’t taste yummy. The chicken was really dry, and the pretzel taste was just salt. I had to dunk it in ketchup.
Denise: YES. Ketchup was key. The chicken fingers you get at a movie concession stand smell better than these tasted. (But honestly, I’ve never eaten chicken fingers from a movie theater.)
Erin: There’s a first time for everything!
Denise: Maybe I’ll have some tonight at Twilight!
Erin: Spoiler alert: No one sitting with me is ordering chicken tenders
[Ed note: Erin and Denise are going to see Breaking Dawn Part 2 with Lanford. Naturally.]
Denise: But speaking of Twilight — Lanford is watching the marathon of all the movies and cannot be in this conversation today. But she sent me notes. “Matthew McConaughey oysters. We Didn’t Start the Fire and Addicted to Love. The atmosphere reminded us of Cocktail. Nachos do not equal Flavor Town.”
Erin: Oh the oysters! We passed on those. Maybe we should have ordered them.
Denise: Yes, how could we not when Fieri originally created them for McConaughey? (Hence Lanford calling them “Matthew McConaughey oysters.”)
Erin: Return engagement?
Denise: I don’t think my skinny jeans could handle that right now. Actually, this was your second time at the restaurant, right?
Erin: Correct! And I clearly did things properly the first time. I was there two weeks ago during Hurricane Sandy, because it was the only place open, and I got the burger. Which was by far my favorite item from last night. I didn’t really taste any of whatever “special sauce” they were touting, but it was flavorful and I would order it again