Rove holds Fox News hostage, is ultimately defeated by those traitorous statistics he once loved so much -- VIDEO

Fox News called the presidential election for Barack Obama at 11:18 p.m. And that’s when things got interesting. Karl Rove — former Bush sidekick, GOP rainmaker, and Fox News contributor — thought that Fox had called the all-important swing state of Ohio too early. He was so vociferous in his complaints that Fox News actually begin to doubt itself, and what followed amounted to a televised existential crisis for one of our nation’s most popular news networks. Host Megyn Kelly left the network’s neon-bunker election HQ and walked through the blank hallways of Fox News — at one point, she apologized because her earpiece apparently stopped working — and talked to the Decision Desk, an impressive-looking crowd of Boys in the Back Room.

The Decision Deskers patiently explained why they decided to call the election — keep in mind, they actually called it after many of the other networks. But after the commercial, Rove was not satisfied. He threw out more numbers. So many numbers: 4.5 million votes in, a difference of 991 votes, 5.7 million votes cast last time. Kelly and her co-host Rock Stoneworth (neé Bret Baier) bowed to his superior logic and called out the Decision Desk’s designated sage, Michael Barone. Barone patiently explained to Rove the logical steps that the Decision Desk took in order to call the election for Obama. His logic was exquisite, and cruel. Rove backpedaled and explained, “I’m just raising a cautionary concern. When he [called it], we had 2/100ths of a percent separating these guys.” Barone was kind enough not to point out that the entire industry of modern 24-hour media exists to call elections with less than 2/100ths of a percent. See below:

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