Having seen only a foxtrot or a cha cha cha from the 12 remaining Dancing With the Stars: All-Stars couples, here’s my best shot at a Week 1 Power List. It may seem like I’m favoring the men who dared to wear the most shockingly hued Cuban heels on Monday’s premiere — but I promise I’m basing this ranking in terms of their total package (shoes plus the rest of the costume). Leave your own ranking in the comments!
12. Drew Lachey and Anna Tre-BUN-skaya I was surprised to see this pair in the bottom two, but I can’t ignore it. Even with a solid, lively jive next week, they could be overshadowed by better, taller couples.
11. Sabrina Bryan and Louis Van Amstel The judges were right that Sabrina Hard With a Vengeance came charging out of the gate a bit too forcefully with an “overdahhhhhnced” cha cha. Louis may be stuck in a catch-22: He wants to choreograph the most difficult routines he can, but will it seem like she’s trying too hard?
10. Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas She proved to everyone this week that she can dance and she can try hard during training. Now that that’s settled, though, I don’t see her positive approval rating lasting too long. She’s not the best.
9. Helio Castroneves and Chelsie Hightower The charisma that won him season 5′s COVETED MIRRORBALL TROPHY could get him farther than ninth place, but the judges weren’t wowed by his first effort at the foxtrot. With so many better dancers in the mix, Helio could be forgotten.
8. Kelly Monaco and Valentin Chmerkovskiy I see Kelly as the dark horse of the season. We still don’t know what we can expect from her, but week 1′s cha cha was slick and sexy. Add some occasionally contentious flirting to the mix and we could have some keepers.
7. Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy They’re hilarious, but this is no normal season — they’ve got to be able to compete technically. I’m already a little scared about next week’s jive.
NEXT PAGE: Is there a new Mr. Butt Seriously in town?
