Will the world soon welcome another itty-bitty British person who has to worry about inheriting the dreaded Prince Charles Hairline? Possibly, according to Internet chatter. Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, has reportedly been raising eyebrows by toasting with water at events celebrating Queen Elizabeth II’s diamond jubilee and sporting a “well-defined ‘baby bump'” at a public appearance in Singapore. Sure, rumors about Kate’s possible pregnancy have been floating around ever since she donned that sleeved wedding dress — but this time, they might actually have merit.
Especially if the following information is true.* See, my English spy friends have been keeping an eye on William and Kate’s family for the past few weeks — and what they’ve seen is a pretty strong indication that the Duchess really does have a bun in her royal oven. Here’s what I’ve been told so far:
– After downing a few shots with Ryan Lochte, Prince Harry kept talking about how he can’t wait to be the “cool uncle” who “teaches the kid how to play billiards.”
– Pippa Middleton was spotted walking around London sporting a fake baby bump. Hey, she did wear white to Kate’s wedding.
– Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice keep buying infant-sized Philip Treacy fascinators.
– Flower girl Grace Van Cutsem is still pouting, but now it’s because she’s worried the royal spawn will be cuter than her.
– Prince Charles was overheard muttering that it’s no fair for one to become a grandfather before he finally gets to be the frickin’ king.
Indubitable evidence, isn’t it?
*Yeah, it definitely isn’t.
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