“Pooped in the kitty litter” sounds like a fun phrase that should mean something more than literally crapping in a box. Like, “Oh, man, Friday night was insane! Sully really pooped in the kitty litter at O’Grady’s!”
But when it comes to Tracy Morgan, “pooped in the kitty litter” is exactly what it sounds like. In a new episode of Centerstage on the YES Network that will air tomorrow night at 10 p.m. ET, he tells host Michael Kay that a particular night of hardcore partying in Hollywood reduced him to imitating the family feline and contributed to the breakup of his marriage. “One night, I came home and I was so drunk, I pooped in the kitty litter,” said Morgan, who has struggled with sobriety. “We had a cat named Snowball, [his ex-wife] said, ‘Who did this?!’ And I said, ‘Snowball! She did it!’ She said, ‘Snowball must be a mountain lion!’ And that was that, you know.”
In the hour-long conversation, Morgan discusses how he first began his stand-up career in the Bronx and how he was discovered by Lorne Michaels and Saturday Night Live. The show changed his life, allowing his family to move to a better neighborhood. “[We moved at] four o’clock in the morning,” said Morgan. “That’s how it is in the hood. You don’t let nobody see your stuff coming out that house. Ain’t nothing, then they can follow you. You know, follow him to his new crib, you know? Still gonna get robbed!”
Not to beat a dead horse — another great disgusting animal metaphor — but I think “pooped in the kitty litter” has great linguistic potential. With the exception of Morgan, who’s admitted his accident, and probably the cast of Jersey Shore, which seems extremely capable of such a feat (on a weekly basis), the phrase accurately conveys a self-inflicted meltdown without necessarily implying that some real pooping occurred. I’m sure I could sprinkle it in to conversation and no one would blink: “Kristen Stewart really pooped in the kitty litter, didn’t she?” “What was Rep. Todd Akin thinking with his rape comment? He really pooped in the kitty litter there.”
Plus, “screwed the pooch” sounds so 1986.
When was the last time you pooped in the kitty litter, figuratively speaking?