What a difference a year makes. 365 days ago, Kimberly Noel Kardashian and Kris Humphries vowed to like, love and cherish each other forever in front of 440 adoring guests — and a whole lot of video cameras. A few months later, K Squared renewed their vows on Ellen; days after that, the couple’s four-hour wedding special finally aired on E! over the course of two nights. But on Halloween, Kardashifans and romantics the world over were shocked — shocked — when Kim laid down a bombshell: She was filing for divorce. The course of televised true love never did run smooth.
Ever since Kardashian and Humphries said their “I do”s — and especially since she said “I won’t anymore” — their marriage and its dissolution have been mercilessly picked apart by media outlets. (Including, um, this one.) As with any breakup, only a new relationship could encourage forward momentum; as soon as Kanye West revealed via rap this spring that he had fallen “in love with Kim,” memories of KHump immediately faded.
The weird thing is, though, that Kim and Kris are technically still married. Extended legal bickering means that the ex-couple most likely will not be granted a divorce or an annulment before 2013 — meaning that today is, in fact, their first wedding anniversary. Ain’t love (and the court system) grand? As Emily Post adherents and all good WASPS know, spouses are supposed to give each other paper gifts to commemorate Anniversary Number One. And since guests at an anniversary party are encouraged to follow suit, we want to know what you might present to the unhappy couple given the opportunity. (No, flour bombs in paper bags don’t count.) Here’s a few suggestions:
- A bound book containing every tabloid cover inspired by their relationship
- 72 days’ worth of paper cranes
- A detailed replica of Kim’s Vera Wang wedding gown. Or the other Vera Wang dress. Or the other other Vera Wang.
- Fans to block faces from paparazzi lenses
- A copy of The Beautiful and Damned. Just because it’s a good book!
Okay, your turn. Don’t forget to be creative — after all, this is the couple that registered for a pair of $195 ice tongs once upon a time.
Presidential PopWatch round-up on Barack Obama: Kardashian hater, SpongeBob lover, and stealth Cool Dad
Evelyn Lozada files for divorce from Chad ‘Ochocinco’ Johnson after 41 days of marriage
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian together at last (for the 98th time) in ‘I Wish You Would/Cold’ music video — WATCH