Who’s that person who loved last night’s Parks and Recreation? That’s-a-me! (Still hungry? Check out these deleted scenes.)
So gather around everyone — that includes you, Mr. Hamster Penis — for a quick rundown of the big moments from last night’s episode, with some helpful context:
1. Is there anything sexier than a guy who fills his house with amenities? If there is, I haven’t found it. And the most shocking aspect of my newfound appreciation for men who own soft blankets and have refrigerators full of coconut water? That Tom is the person who helped me come to this conclusion. Congrats, Tom! You’ve finally done something sort of right. Ann certainly loved it, too. Yes, that’s still happening. But for how long? (See. No. 4)
2. Chris wants Ron Swanson! (Don’t we all? Grr..) Chris approached Ron about a job as assistant city manager. But first, he put him to a test by inviting him to meditation. Ron replied with a response I will henceforth use any time someone tries to make me write about a show with the words “Real Housewives” in the title: “I’m not sure I’m interested in that. No, I am sure. I am not interested in that.” But Ron went anyway and actually turned out to be pretty good at blocking out the world, a trait I find pretty common among people with mustaches. But for Chris, Ron accompanying him to meditation was about so much more than the meditation itself — it was about him being sure Ron knew how to be flexible. (Not literally.) It’s a quality, he claimed, that he wants in a city manager. But it turns out that might not matter at all…(see No. 4)
3. Leslie Knope is a dog killer. Well, that’s what the red-headed right hand of the devil (Bobby Newport) wanted all of Pawnee to believe after Leslie used her clout to save the Parks budget, which resulted in the shelter being shut down. But April came to the rescue with the idea to run a pet adoption. (Leslie: “April, that would be the coolest thing since N’Sync, Aerosmith and Nelly performed at the Half Time Show together.” April: “Eeeww.”) Too bad the event didn’t go as planned. Neither did Leslie’s plan to save money because Ann got fired. So her solution? Get Bobby Newport to save the animal shelter. Win-win-and-win! She also wasn’t afraid of the effect her plan would have on poll numbers because next week is the debate with Newport “and I’m going to kick his ass,” said Leslie.
4. Revelation: If Newport wins, Chris will be ousted from his current position. (Thus, obviously, eliminating the need for Ron to act as his No. 2.) Chris was bummed, but then he realized that the sunny side to the situation was that he would no longer be forbidden from being with Ann. Dun, dun, dun.
So, what did you think of the episode, PopWatchers? Worth the wait? (Yes!)
(Also, just so we’re clear, yes, Ben, you’re totally Michelle.)