Romney, Santorum, Gingrich, and Paul: Who has the best Victory Face?

“Super Tuesday” is one of the most important episodes in The Presidential Election, the low-rated cult-hit TV dramedy which the media won’t stop paying attention to, despite the fact that American audiences dislike all the characters and find the plotlines melodramatic and confusing. No, I’m kidding! The Presidential Election is actually an exciting carnival designed to distract Americans from the world’s real problems, a carnival financed by an evil Fat Cat Coalition: Wall Street bankers, Russian oligarchs, the Reykjavik Fishmonger Mafia, and Fat Cat from Rescue Rangers. And doesn’t like a carnival? Now, we don’t know who won Super Tuesday, since the results aren’t in yet, and also because we don’t pay attention to politics unless it involves superheroes or Lindsay Lohan. But here’s one thing we do know: By the end of today, one lucky Republican candidate will be victorious, or will at least be able to claim victory according to some abstract metrics that we can’t understand. In preparation, examine the photo evidence and decide: Which of the four remaining GOP Presidential hopefuls has the best Victory Face?

Mitt Romney in Florida:

Newt Gingrich in South Carolina:

Rick Santorum in Missouri:

Ron Paul in the mirror:


Follow Darren on Twitter: @EWDarrenFranich


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