Courtney Stodden gets kicked out of pumpkin patch for being too sexy. I cannot wait for her reality show, and I am terrible.

Stodden-Hutchison

Image Credit: Splash News

Here on PopWatch, I write a lot about women’s issues in pop culture. Body image, right to privacy, exploitation — there really isn’t a topic I don’t like to weigh in on, constantly encouraging female celebrities to dare to be recognized for their talent and brains over their heavily scrutinized bodies. (Just see my sadness over Lindsay Lohan’s reported Playboy shoot earlier today.) So why in God’s name am I so damned excited to watch child bride Courtney Stodden and husband Doug Hutchison’s reality show?

These are two people who stand for everything I stand against: One half of the couple is an oversexed teenager who depressingly doesn’t think she could get attention without flaunting her figure in extremely revealing clothing; the other is a fiftysomething who managed to skirt the law in order to take advantage of a fame-hungry teen. Not to mention the fact that both are fame-whorish enough to even shop a reality show about their creepily sexy lives. But, PopWatchers, this is one trainwreck I can’t turn away from. I mean, my god, this is a couple that got kicked out of a pumpkin patch this past weekend… for being too sexy. If there’s anything more horrendously entertaining than Stodden’s romance-novel-meets-Bible tweets, it’s two people who can’t help but straddle each other amongst the unsexiest of produce.

Now, I am extremely, extremely ashamed of this, PopWatchers. So I’m attempting to make excuses. Perhaps the ’90s nostalgic in me feels it’s simply been too long since Pamela Anderson sexified everything in her path, often to embarrassing consequences. Perhaps it’s because I really think Stodden is a 35-year-old comedienne who’s going to come out and shock us in a year with her teen bride performance art. (Because, come on, those tweets from “Stodden” are hysterical.) Perhaps… aw, hell, I’ve got nothing else, PopWatchers. I am terrible. But let’s make this a no-judgment zone and express our very, very guilty pleasure for Stodden’s antics. Am I alone?

Follow Kate on Twitter @KateWardEW

Read more:
Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison sign reality show deal
‘Lost’ actor Doug Anthony Hutchison and teen bride Courtney Stodden talk to ‘GMA.’ So this is love?
‘Lost’ actor Doug Anthony Hutchison marries 16-year-old girlfriend

Comments (44 total) Add your comment
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  • Jenn

    I want to believe she is 35. But wouldn’t someone have come out by now and say that they went to high school with her in 1993?

  • TeriT

    They are frightening people. I love how The Soup portrays her. Okay, I’ll admit I’ll watch the first show, but if they’re as creepy as they seem, one show will be it. (I know, I’m not proud either.)

    • Lori R

      I crack up everytime the Soup parodies her! Her laugh! And I love how she says “winky kitty face!”

      • etm

        LOL yeah that girl does an awesome imitation!

    • Lee

      AH-HAAAAAA-HAAAAA-HAAAAA! XOs…

  • Trey

    Can this ball of trash and her perv of a husband go away already?

  • bezza

    All I can say, Kate Ward, is “don’t put it on me, girl’.

  • SM

    You are not alone. She is train-wrecker than all the real housewives put together. Sign me up (at least for one, maybe two episodes).

  • Will

    I read “the unsexiest of produce” …and I died

  • J

    I saw those pictures, her behavior was inappropriate at best. There’s a time and place for behavior and attire like that and it is not in the middle of a pumpkin patch surrounded by families with children. I’m with Trey, please go away trashy couple.

    • etm

      ITA.

  • Katie

    I also am super weirdly excited to watch this show as well. And I am SO ASHAMED by it but I’m drawn to it like a moth to a flame. I just can’t help a car wreck, even if she is only 17.

  • funny in a sad way

    Boycott these people. Make them go away.

  • Cyndi

    Seriously?! Why does the media keep giving her any coverage. Ignore her and hopefully they will go away!

  • BJG

    Articles keep mentioning that Doug Hutchinson was on Lost, but I don’t remember him at all. Was he one of the freighter folk?

    • Me

      He was Horace, the leader of the Dharma people on the island. You see him mostly when Sawyer and the rest are on the ialdn in the 70’s

    • orville

      He has a big role in “The Green Mile.” Really creepy role though. Who knew he wasn’t really acting all that much?

    • caryn c

      He was also a creepy guy on X-Files.

  • dropper

    I would definitely check out a reality show starring these two trainwrecks. I would not be proud of myself, but I would watch at least once.

  • Kristen

    Kate, I totally agree! They are a train wreck and I can’t look away! If they ever do get a tv show I would watch it but I would NEVER admit it!

  • maggie

    I don’t want to watch a reality show with these creeps. But I wouldn’t mind having one on tv, just to give Joel McHale & The Soup lots of stuff to make fun of.

    • Tali

      Haha, Joel is going to have a blast with this!

    • Lee

      Agreed! I can’t wait for that…

  • Davis

    Will someone please tell that poor girl to stop wearing white lipstick. It does her absolutely no favors and with a more natural hairstyle, there could be a pretty girl in there somewhere. Wink wink smiley face. purrrr.
    Right now she’s looking like straight out of a Whitesnake video (and an era when her husband was still older than she is now). Kiss. Wink, Ummm Yum,

    • TeriT

      I think the white lipstick is fair warning to anyone who meets her. Let’s you know straight-up what kind of person you’re dealing with.

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