'Kim's Fairytale Wedding': Was it worth the wait?

kim-kardashian-wedding

Image Credit: Michael Simon, Albert Ferreira/Startraks and Nick Saglimbeni

Tonight’s E! special Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event was an outrageously elongated affair — and I refer not just to the fact that merely saying its full title would occupy slow-talkers until Christmas 2017.

Despite its two hour length, this evening’s show did not actually cover the nuptials of Ms. Kardashian and NBA player Kris Humphries, who married way back in August. That will be taken care of in Monday’s companion special, Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event 2: Electric Boogaloo. This show was all about the build-up. Which Vera Wang wedding dress would Kim choose? Could she have real diamonds in her bouquet (remarkably, not a joke)?  Would she hire Robin Thicke or Christina Aguilera to perform on the big day (remarkably, also not a joke)? The result was two hours of wedding prep porn, which at least meant it was a step up from Kim’s accidental excursion in real porn.

Or maybe not. Say what you like about XXX movies but they rarely feature gruesome close-up footage of a woman having elective, jowls-tightening surgery. (Obviously Debbie Does Dallas and Then Has Elective, Jowls-Tightening Surgery is the exception which proves the rule here). But one of the show’s major plot strands found Kim fretting while her mother Kris went under the knife and whatever other terrifying tools were surgically utilized onscreen after I covered my eyes with my hands and tore out my ear drums with my toes.

Speaking of tools, the show’s running time allowed plenty of space to explore the not-all-that-relevant binge eating of Kim’s sibling Rob who (just in case there wasn’t quite enough conspicuous consumption on display) was seen wolfing down a vast amount of Mexican food with Christian Bale-in-American-Psycho lookalike Scott Disick. Meanwhile, Humphries was routinely railroaded over wedding plans by Kim and Kris and routinely bad mouthed by Kim’s sister Khloe, who was determined he sign a prenuptial agreement. Oh, yes. Humphries is a professional basketball player but it is his wife who is the rich one. That’s how much money the Kardashians have.

And they just keep on getting more of it. The newlyweds are rumored to have made a(nother) fortune from televising their wedding and in tonight’s show Khloe and her husband Lamar Odom discussed their then upcoming appearance in a commercial that was actually screened in the course of the episode’s many, many ad breaks. As it happens, another advert was for the new Johnny Depp movie The Rum Diary.  The film is adapted from a novel by Hunter S. Thompson who once described the TV business as “a cruel and shallow money trench.” In arguably related news, the second half of Kim’s Fairytale Wedding will be broadcast on Monday at 9 p.m. ET / 8 p.m. CT.

Did you watch tonight’s show? What did you think?

Read more:
‘Kim’s Fairytale Wedding': 10 things you WON’T hear or see
Kim Kardashian renews her wedding vows on ‘Ellen,’ and it’s actually kinda sweet: Watch!
Kim Kardashian’s wedding registry
Snap judgment of Kim Kardashian’s wedding dress: Classic with a dash of crazy


Comments (131 total) Add your comment
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  • Van Der Woodsen

    The line to dance on the Kardashian’s graves will be longer than the one in a department store the day after Christmas when everyone comes to return things.

    • dee123

      That’s a little strong. Can’t say i disagree that much though.

      • bill

        my sisters friend makes $50 an hour on the internet. She has been unemployed for 8 months but last month her cheque was $6200 just working on the internet for a few hours. Go here Ca shHard.c om

      • 2 years from now…

        … if not sooner: “Kim and Kris ask that the press and public respect their privacy during this difficult time.” ‘Cause you KNOW it’s coming.

      • lucyfier

        My best friend has just announced her wedding with a great man who is a cele+brity!
        They met-via { millionaireluv_С’σм }
        It is nice club for rich men or pretty girls mate.
        You do not need to be wealthy or famous, but you can meet your true love, it’s worthy a try.

      • foot long

        I would love to “F” her “A” and “T’s”

      • PG has no sense of humor!

        i was channel surfing and landed on it for 10 seconds. it was enough. i wish all of these reality shows would go away. they all make me ill.

      • Nana

        Total waste or time kim k n fairytale b/s I wish kris luck fake boobs fake butt n fake attitude be real there is a world of more Important causes other than this crap

      • Jonathan

        I love these photos, but the most ignirnuitg one is , img.9043 I believe,, the couple are standing infront of two piles of cars. on an aqua colored Fiat, or Fiet (sp) and the next pile has a blue car,, but what caught my eye. is between the two piles fo cars is a set of eyes and possible a part of a nose. or at least that is what it looks.. It may well be a trick of light or something, but I found it absoulutely facinating..Jeff your work is fantastic.Yours TrulyElizabeth Fleck-Lawrence..

    • My son is also named Bort

      That’s one line people won’t mind if i cut into.

    • @My son is also named Bort

      Bahahahaha!

    • lisa g.

      She looks better when she’s just running around running errands! I expected more from her but she was a plain bride!

    • lisa g.

      All of their shows are heavily scripted! Tee Emm Zeee even caught them on tape with the producers concocting scenes n telling them what to do.

      • lisa g.

        One thing I will admit is when Kim was in Paris Hilton’s shadow, i never got it! Kim is a ZILLION times hotter than Paris n should have NEVER been playing second fiddle to her. Americas obsession with all things blonde is bewildering! Jacqueline Smith was the hottest angel, not Farrah!

      • rita

        Right on lisa g.!!!

      • etm

        ITA with all 3 of your comments lisa g.

  • Thumbs down to the Kardashian’s

    Kim’s mom and family are insufferable. I don’t know how Kris H. puts up with that sh/t. They roll their eyes and talk under their breaths about people who actually say sensible things. This is the first time I’ve seen the show and I’ve gotta say, it’s just unbelievable. And I don’t mean that in a good way. They all nag so much and the family has an annoying habit of ganging up on people and acting like high school bullies in order to get their point across and make the other party surrender to their likings. Sheesh. The Kardashian’s have bought into their own hype. Kim’s mom is a greedy old hag. She’s prostituted all of her children for her lifestyle. Money comes first before being a mom and I think that’s just sad.

    Anyways. Won’t be watching this garbage again. These people have serious problems and they’re SO obnoxious and materialistic.

    • innerjuju

      ….and yet you watched.

      • Thumbs down to the Kardashian’s

        Um, yeah. Didn’t think I was speaking french when I said it was the first time I watched the Kardashians, therefore not knowing their annoying traits prior to my viewing. Which is why I said I won’t be watching again…because I didn’t like what I saw.

        Didn’t think people were so dumb that you had to practically draw a picture for them to understand. Morons.

      • @Thumbs Down…

        I’m not a fan of them either, but you’re just making yourself look bad.

      • Ap

        @Thumbs Down…

        Sucks that you won’t be getting that time back.

      • A

        I try to every now and then – but there is something about their voices. I can watch it on mute tho.

      • Besim

        The few pictures you have ptesod here yesterday are truly exceptional. From the few meetings (pre-wedding in Tennille’s absence) with you you showed true professionalism & organizational skills. You arrived at our home in Westville knew exactly what you wanted in pictures and went right to it You kept Tennille calm & collective and of course ignored the heat wave that overcame us that day (especially in church whew!!)and many outdoor pictures taken The pictures are truly beautiful, and I just can’t wait to see the remainder of them You are definitely highly recommended in my books

    • Kylie

      Um …i think the wedding was perfect nd the show is SO NOT OBNOXIOUS

      • j

        then you have a distorted view of the world. feel sorry for you.

      • lalaland

        You forgot to mention you’re 12.

    • CandyGirl

      “Kim’s mom is a greedy old hag. She’s prostituted all of her children for her lifestyle. Money comes first before being a mom and I think that’s just sad.” –>
      WORD.
      She routinely emascualtes Bruce Jenner (wanting to change her name back to Kardashian to cash in on the name) and is pimping out her youngest daughters now.

      • momo

        That about sums it up! Except Kim prostituted herself when she saw was “one night in Paris” did for Paris Hilton. She saddled up and had Ray J get the camera……and then a star was born. She is famous for no other reasons besides that! Yes her dad helped get OJ off but that is merely a side note…..

    • chuckd

      You are completely on target. This broad kris K is a huge pimp and living off the laurels of her daughter big butt.

    • the lovely one

      I agree, kim is sooooo fake from head to toe and I was not going to indulge and provide more ratings to this airheaded broad….she needs to hav a seat on her fake ass

  • Matt

    She is known for giving BAD head.

    • lisa g.

      Did u see her sex tape? She’s HORRIBLE in bed! She can’t dance which usually is a sign.

      • vikesfansteve

        famous for taking it in the behind on video.

        just imagine the smell in that room the poor cleaning maid had to deal with.

  • bridget drinkard

    I think that any wedding should be a wonderful time
    But I think that Chris really didnt have any say in the wedding.I think that they put to much money in the wedding.when their is people is hungery
    When the people is the one making them rich

    • jennrae

      Are you kidding?! They didn’t spend a dime on that wedding, instead they made money. As in millions.

      • Dhana

        15 mil to be exact.

  • Mike

    Part 1 was boring, and I am easily entertained by this family. Khloe and Lamar’s wedding special was by far better than this one. But who am I kidding, I’ll still be watching tomorrow night.

  • Marcelina

    Her boobs are so huge! I’m pretty sure she could smother a man to death between those boobs. It would be one of the most pleasant deaths a man could die.

    • jennrae

      Jesus, I’m a girl, but even I recognize that that would only be “pleasurable” if you paid her to keep her mouth shut. Considering the position, it couldn’t involve any of your fun parts.

  • Forwarddad

    You already usd this line on the 10 things u won’t see article under Pop Wstch. Like the K family you are getting old.

  • Natz

    unsurprisingly tacky

  • ns

    When Kim whined to Kris H. about how “I’ve dreamed about this day since I was 10 years old,” all I could think of was “Dear, have you forgotten that this isn’t the first time you’ve gotten married?” Even in LA, I doubt many people fantasize about their second wedding.

    • festerbabe

      OMG…Thanks for the laugh on a Monday morning..spit coffee on myself laughing

  • me

    Thanks to E! Online and the media I happily gave this wedding a miss since it was WAAAAYYY overexposed. My only comment regarding the wedding itself since there were photos on the internet is the Black and White theme really does not work. Great for a ball but not a wedding. I hope would be couples in and out of Hollywood not emulate this spectacle and understand that less is more even for TV.

  • Kiwi3

    I didn’t watch. I have though seen ads for it as well as numerous blogs, gossip shows & rags that talked about it. I am utterly horrified by the level of greed, selfishness, self centeredness, materialistic excess. It’s disgusting. I can’t begin to understand why this family is so popular. I read somewhere that they made money on their wedding as well as having stuff GIVEN to them. I’ve read comments of “they should have whatever type wedding they want” but the reality is that this level of wretched excess is just plain wrong & truly offensive. Donating even just a 10th of their “haul” could truly benefit so many people or animals or research, or whatever charity, group or project anyone wants to pick. Furthermore, with what they own already they (& I mean the ENTIRE family) should AND should have AND in the future have NOT registered AND turned down gifts, ONLY accepting donations to their fave charities. (oops… I doubt they know what a charity IS, unless it comes with gift bags or “goodie rooms”, cause god forbid you give, without getting something in return). The fact that this & other similar shows are so popular is also disturbing. They do nothing but promote avarice, greed, materialism, inflated egos, selfishness, self-centeredness, etc.

    • kz

      well said.

    • Sugar

      I second that, “well said.”

    • Shannon

      Ditto!

    • Jennie

      Exactly. Cannot believe the $$ they spent on this circus. Why not donate to a charity instead of getting gifts they obviously don’t need. Do they not have a clue to what’s going on in the world??

    • the lovely one

      U r soooo rite, I totally agree such a mockery to wat we as a peole r struggling thru

  • mae

    Kim is sooo materialist I can’t imagine why Chris would want to marry her except for his own gain. He is a smart kid if he can’t get rich from basketbll then why not and older rich women,

  • sarah

    This wedding was and is a sham from the beginning. Just for ratings, like everything else they do. The Mom pimps her kids out to pay for her plastic surgeries. Kris Humphries will be history in less than a year if he doesn’t get on Khole’s good side, God, she’s scary.

    • Alan

      Great job guys! you had some really crtivaee ideas for this wedding and the overall feel was well captured! that was my first cameo appearance Hope to work with you next season. -Will

  • j

    didn’t watch it and won’t…but was interested in reading a snarky recap. Amazing that a mother has to have plastic surgery for her daughter’s wedding. Why don’t they just call her Madam which what she is. Better yet she should change her name to heidi fleiss. I hope they lose their money and find out how real people live.

  • Sue Ann

    I have a horrific feeling that soon we will see a “Must See TV” block of All-Kardashian “reality.” A show about each daughter (of course,) their current husband, boyfriend, etc. And of course, we’ve got to get Rob his own show. And a Bruce & Kris show – showing how touching and loving, but CRAAAAAZY it all is! On slow weeks, they’ll fabricate (I mean follow) the lesser characters they are determined we become interested in – particulary Brody Jenner, that irresistable, fascinating young man. Oh yeah, he had a short-lived failure already, but now he’s safely under the Kardashian umbrella. They’ll force (I mean FIT) him in somehow. (The last half-hour will be a QVC type show allowing the viewer to buy whatever the “cast” members were wearing that night – also available to those boutiques they often forget they own.) Whatever night they’re on – TV will never be the same. This is television history people! There have been falilies in the past who had some fleeting talent, but really? Do the Barrymores, the Fairbanks, the Dionne Quints, the Redgraves, the Osmonds, the Jacksons, the Arquettes, the Bridges – can any of these dynasties comapre to the KARDASHIANS? (Reminder: Set your DVRs, because who doesn’t like to rewatch celebrity weddings? Those are real keepers!) PS -Sorry about the screaming CAPS – but for the Kardashian name, it just felt so “right.”

    • Glowbug

      LOL good one—esp the QVC tie-in to sell their looks–

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