Things are not looking great for the six-year marriage of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Though Two and a Half Men‘s new star has tweeted that we shouldn’t jump to conclusions — “When you ASSUME to know that which you know nothing of you make an ASS out of U and ME” — the tabloids are quoting sources close to Moore as saying that their relationship is teetering. Hence, paparazzi are stalking Kutcher to see if he’s still wearing his ring, Taiwanese artists have tackled the rumored discord, and oddsmakers are even speculating on their future together. According to PaddyPower.com, a website that clearly takes bets on anything, the odds of the couple divorcing before the end of 2013 are a cynical 2/5. Clearly, the smart money is thinking split. In fact, the smart money has already moved on to speculating about Ashton’s next girlfriend. Currently, Scarlett Johansson is the odds-on favorite (8/1) to land on Kutcher’s arm, with Eva Longoria (12/1), Jennifer Lopez (12/1), and Lindsay Lohan (16/1) close behind. The educated gambler in me trusts in past performance, so if I was a pathetic, compulsive gambler, I’d like Courteney Cox (25/1) and Madonna (33/1) as smart bets. I’m not compulsive enough, though, to lay money down on Sophia Loren (90/1).
Are you repelled by the practice of gambling on a marriage’s demise? Or is this the best news Lindsay Lohan has heard since Mean Girls?