Image Credit: Joe Pugliese/TLC
For the past year or so, I’ve been watching Sister Wives very consistently — to the point where it has become appointment TV. At first, my roommate and I watched purely because we had all the typical questions about the so-called plural lifestyle. Why do they live this way? Where does everyone live? Where does the husband sleep? How can they afford a family that large? And so on.
Now that the show is starting its third season, which kicked off last night, I feel like all the major questions I once had about this lifestyle have been answered. And while new questions develop all the time, I find myself tuning in not because of my curiosity but because I’m interested in this family’s everyday struggles.
In last night’s episode, for instance, we picked up where we left off last season. The family was still settling into their four new homes in Las Vegas after having left Utah last season to escape some of the scrutiny they had been experiencing since “going public” with their lifestyle, and Robyn was nervous about announcing to the family (especially Meri, who can no longer have children) that she was pregnant. The episode also highlighted the challenges associated with moving — like finding new social groups for the kids and teens. While polygamy certainly complicated these issues, I later realized that I no longer considered polygamy a plot point. To me, it’s become more of a character trait than a focus for the show.
I might be alone in this, but this family is a joy to watch — even patriarch Kody has a moment every now and then. I find their sensitivity toward one another sweet, their love for their children endearing, and I like that the wives — especially Christine — have no problem standing up to Kody when he acts like a big, paisley print-wearing baby.
Opinions about their lifestyle aside, last night’s season premiere highlighted everything I like about this show. At it’s core, it’s a family drama — complicated by a very bold and controversial lifestyle choice. It sort of reminds me what I loved about Big Love — before the show became bats— crazy. After last night’s episode, I’m more interested in what’s bothering Hunter, who seems to be the child with the most trouble adjusting to his new surroundings, and the impending marriage troubles hinted in the preview than I am about debating the right and wrongs of their lifestyle. (Of course, you are welcome to… )
Am I alone, readers? Does anyone who watched last night feel the same?
I think the premise is interesting, I just don’t have any more time for another show!
Totally agree.. I’m pretty much over the whole “how does this polygamy thing work” and am more interested in how they are going to work things out. I appreciated learning about the children and wives’ struggle to adjust in their new environment, and found the family split on joining the youth group interesting. Anyone else think these are really great and mature kids- especially Logan?
Yeeesh, I never thought I’d be writing this but … “lifestyle choice”? SERIOUSLY? It’s a CRIME. It’s not a freaking “lifestyle choice.”
The two are not mutually exclusive.
If Kody is not legally married to more than one of the wives (they may just call themselves husband and wife, without the paperwork) then it IS a choice, and not a crime (in the legal sense, at least. Moral stance is always up for debate!!)
actually, there is really NO crime here. kody is legally married to meri. the other wives: janelle, christine and robyn are, in other terminology, mistresses. they are mistresses that EVERYONE knows about and isn’t fighting over. they may say they are all married, but legally you know, and i know, that’s not possible (there are pockets of utah and nevada where polygamy marriages are performed, but nothing is legally sanctioned.)
that said, kody and his 4 women are trying to make a go, with a large family they have just uprooted. i too started watching for the voyeur effect; yes, the family drama sucks me in as well. is this lifestyle for me? hell no…. but neither is mama duggar’s choice to have 19 children- that’s up to her and jim bob. they are also raising responsible mature children, WITH NO PUBLIC ASSISTANCE.
keep in mind: those who live in glass houses should not throw stones. interpret this how you will, but essentially that means butt out!
If Utah has any laws regarding Common Law marriage, then yes there is a crime as all of the family lived in one house and he is not claiming Christine and Janelle are his sisters.
I, however, have no knowledge of the laws of the State of Utah and do not wish to.
The man was stupid to uproot his family and take them to Vegas. All of the older children are the ones that will suffer the most from the move into the abyss of their new life.
I hope that all of the children (especially Hunter) manage to find a new set of friends.
If he hasn’t committed a crime, why did they flee Utah?
because they openly stated they were in a polygamist relationship and that they were married (in one of those places that marries polygamists), which as we all know, is definitely not legal. therefore, utah was seeking to prosecute kody and 3 of his 4 wives for polygamy. it’s really a matter of parsing the language: polygamy marriage versus mistresses. however, as members of a polygamist sect of mormonism, this is their verbiage choice, which again, comes back to illegality in utah.
“The family was still settling into their four new homes in Las Vegas after having left Utah last season to escape some of the scrutiny they had been experiencing since “going public” with their lifestyle”
It sounds like the family was getting harrassed to some degree by other people for their ‘lifestyle’ and moved to a place where it is either more acceptable or they are simply not known as “that polygamist family”. If they are fleeing the law, it is probably not the best choice to have cameras documenting it…
It’s only a crime because a law went on the books 100+ years ago. Same reason marriage of 2 men or 2 women isn’t legal. No law on the books in most states (or nationally).
The wives sucked me in. I love watching their family dramas unfold. Cody seems like kind of a drag. I gave the show a chance during the first season because I was curious. Honestly, these people seem a lot more well-adjusted than the 19 Kids And Counting. Those Duggars are weeeeeird.
And I disregard comparisons to Warren Jeffs and his tribe of A-Holes. There is no cultish feeling watching the Browns and certainly no child brides or rape concerns. I am at ease with their choice because the allow their children to attend public schools and witness the way the rest of America lives. They have made it clear that as adults their children will have the option to live whatever lifestyle they choose. All of the teenage kids seem to really have their heads on straight.
Re: Duggars – I know!! I get that the Duggars and the Browns are all just trying to live out their faiths/lifestyles, but the Browns, despite the non-traditional family type, seem so much more relatable.
I totally agree….I like the family and how they interact.. I will be waiting to see how they can really keep themselves together in four different houses.
I agree. I can’t stand Kody (he is such a turd), but I do really like the wives – especially Meri. And I feel for the kids.
Totally agreed. I am more interested in the wives relationships than the relationship Cody has with any of them. I really like this show and think it’s very interesting.
I’ve adjusted to the to their lifestyle and have pretty much accepted it (although with the understanding that if everyone practiced polygamy it would not be good for society.) What I can’t figure out is if this family is really, really good at intimacy or really, really bad at it. If a person is good at intimacy, they can tolerate and thrive in a monogamous relationship by having the time and energy to create a very deep understanding and bond. Doesn’t the frantic pace of so many people inhibit this process? Sometimes I wonder if the entire purpose of so many people is so that they don’t have to get particularly close to each other. But then again, they all seem very self-aware and honest about their feelings/thoughts, which makes me think they do somehow manage to have deep connections.
But aside from those questions, I have to say I find the personalities of all of the adults pretty tedious and boring. The polygamy is the only thing that makes them even remotely interesting to watch. I prefer when they focus on the kids, who seem more joyful, funny, interesting and alive.
So the article’s writer is drawing parallels between this “reality” show and Big Love? Huh. Other than the obvious polygamy link, I’m not seeing it. And last night’s episode highlighted one of the biggest reasons why Cody and their “lifestyle” is a sham, the reason I will always have more respect for the fictional Hendricksen family than I’ll have for this “real” family.
Cody did not choose this lifestyle because of his religious beliefs. He chose a religion that fit his lifestyle beliefs. He wanted multiple wives, and he lives under the guise of living his faith through polygamy.
The ‘church youth group’ struggle wouldn’t have happened in the Hendricksen household because they all actually understood and believed in the “principle”.
Cody – and Janelle and Christine, for that matter – just believes in polygamy, there’s nothing religious about it.
Big Love was interesting because rather than juts focus on the obvious plot points of polygamy, they delved deeper into the dramas that every family faces, they just happened to have the polygamist bent to all of those regular family issues. That’s how I took his comment.
big love was what you described for one and a half seasons. to claim they had everyday common struggles is laughable. the last 2-3 seasons was nothing but cliffhanger TV and horrible plot lines that made you cringe, then when they end the show, they didnt even TOUCH those storyli nes, people like alby were not in the finale, what a failure, and to die at the hands of your neighbor, so lame, incredibly lame imo. to have this martyr concept with bill hendrickson.
Ian – sure, I get that. The family’s storyline is what pulls all of us in, in both cases.
But the characters on Big Love actually lived the principle. Kody and his wives have twisted someone else’s concept/beliefs to suit his lifestyle.
The fact that they’re just emulating it and not really believing it in made last night’s episode especially hard to watch. The wives and children are going through hell FOR NOTHING. For no reason at all. Just a shame.
I LOVE this family. I agree with your article completely and thank you for posting it. This family is a joy to watch. And I have to say that I really really like Kody. I think he’s a great husband and an even better father. Regardless of beliefs, I got over the Poligamy thing a long time ago. I truly hope that they are able to continue coming together to overcome the issues they face. They belong in the same house, not 4 houses and I hope that happens for them sooner rather than later. As long as this show is on, I will watch them.
Of all the people in this family, Kody has got to be the least likable. He totally has his head up his you-know-what. He really is truly clueless about what he does to the people around him while flitting around doing whatever makes him feel good. The wives may be fine with the polygamy set up but they clearly are not happy (well maybe Robin when she is playing martyr). Who decides to move 16 kids and 4 other adults without doing any research about where they are going (appropriate churches for the family, appropriate outlets for the kids to socialize outside the family) and without making sure they are properly prepared for the trip (checking tires, fluid levels in the car, not springing it on your kids THE NIGHT BEFORE)? A self-centered jerk is who. He clearly is neglecting the emotional and psychological needs of his wives (except Robin) and some of his kids. I don’t really have a problem with the non traditional nature of their arrangement – I say live and let live – but I do think he is a self absorbed jerk and the rest of the family deserves better.
Agree with you, Lily. Kody is VERY unlikeable and self-centered. I really can’t see how anyone could like Kody? Everything about him gives me the creeps. But I do like the wives.
Me too! They are just people and we are all the same.
I know Kody is such a creeper. I don’t believe for one sec that he does this for religious reasons. In one episode in season 3 they went back to his hometown and met some of his high school friends and they all said the same thing. They were not surprised he “came out”. He loves being the center of attention and thinks the world revolves around him. I sometimes feel that his kids don’t even like/respect him.
I know a lot of unhappy traditional families producing miserable kids. These kids seem pretty happy, as it goes. I wouldn’t want this arrangement or my life on tv but if it works for them so be it.
I really like them but I SINCERELY hope this show dosen’t end up being explotive like Kate plus Eight. I really liked her and her family at first too, but then it became all about Kate. I do think these people have their heads on straight, I just hope the fame dosen’t end up ruining them. I’ll keep watching because it’s very interesting . I don’t want more than one husband but if it works for them…more power to ‘em.
I also find this show interesting
I love the show. I was waiting for this season. I want to be the girl version of Kody! LOL! Joking aside I think it is wonderful how they all get along how the kids seem to have a pretty good up bringing and be happy. I think they are strong and if it works for them who is anyone to judge it but GOD. NOt I. I have no right. I applaud them. If it works for them then yeah! I will continue watching. I am not worried about Hunter but would like to see him come out of this. I think he is a typical teenage boy and the uprooting from what he knows does seem to be bothering him. I wish him well! They all seem to be well and that is great to see these days:)
That happens too. You can find women in Cali and Oregon who keep one man who works, one who watches her kids, one who plans romantic dates…in the same house. Poly-amory. I might try it someday.
I love this family. I too am worried about Hunter! He seemed to have his life pretty much on track until this move and now so depressed! Concerned about him. I love that they work so hard to try and make everyone happy. But, he really needs some new interest..It would not work for me, but they are a family for sure!
imo, I put this show with “downsized”. If you havet seen that, watch it….its another fantastic show about a family who is struggling. In fact its inspiring with the mother having MS, etc, while staying interesting with their bad financial decisions.
watching the browns, and my mentioned downsized show…is just great TV.
I dont care if he has 3 wives, I care how tha teffects the kids, how the wives interact, how cody doesnt go absolutely nuts.(he sort of it, kind of a chilD)…but still, great TV
I totally agree with you. I first watched out of curiousity, now I watch for the drama. My views have been changed quite dramatically. With all the divorce in this world, even mine, I love the way this family connects are all aspects of living — love, unity, the children. I’ve even said that given the opportunity, I might actually enjoy living that lifestyle. As future shows anticipate, there is always issues whether its a 2 parent home a multi parent home. At least they are real unlike the BS from 8 Plus Kate..never watched that and never will watch a show like that.