'Magic Mike': Who -- and what -- do you need to see in Channing Tatum's stripper movie?

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Image Credit: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic.com

I was just talking to a friend who has yet to hear about Magic Mike, and it occurred to me that there might actually be people who aren’t counting the days until it hits theaters. I do not understand these people. It’s a movie based on Channing Tatum’s early days as a stripper, in which he’ll star as the titular mentor to a younger dancer played by I Am Four‘s Alex Pettyfer. The cast also includes Matthew McConaughey (who’ll play a former stripper who now owns the club, called Xquisite), White Collar‘s Matt Bomer (as another employee), and True Blood‘s Joe Manganiello (as a character named Big Dick Richie). How are you not excited about this? If it’s good, great. If it’s bad, it’s Showgirls, and I’m roadtesting a VIP DVD edition. What’s the male stripper equivalent of the ”Pin the Pasties on the Showgirl” game? I can’t wait to find out.

The film, directed by Steven Soderbergh, starts shooting next month, which, fingers crossed, means we still have time for more casting announcements. (And ladies don’t count!) If David Boreanaz happened to have some downtime while his Bones co-star Emily Deschanel is on maternity leave, I’d love to see him play a stripper who specializes in popping. My colleague Sandra Gonzalez would nominate Donnie Wahlberg, who’s roughly the same age as McConaughey and Boreanaz, so perhaps they could have a retired stripper poker game-turned-dance-off in a back room. Sandra’s also pulling for Jared Padalecki (“In my head, Jared is more into doing this pose than dancing though,” she says.) I would also suggest a Taylor Lautner cameo, as a kid expected to be the club’s new golden boy, but he can’t dance so they have to let him go. And if The Vampire Diaries didn’t shoot in Atlanta, Ian Somerhalder could be a bad boy stripper at the club competing with Magic Mike for Pettyfer’s character’s soul. Who would you like added to this already extraordinarily built cast?

Also, let’s talk about the scenes that MUST be in this movie. To keep it authentic, there has to be at least one woman shown getting a lap dance and making nervous small talk with her dancer. (“Where are you from?” “Michigan.” “And did you go to school there?” — actual conversation overheard at my sister’s bachelorette party in Vegas in 2001.) This could be part of a montage of Tatum’s character teaching Pettyfer’s how to read women and how far they’re comfortable with him going. Your turn.

Read more:
Joe Manganiello near deal to join stripper movie — EXCLUSIVE
Matthew McConaughey signs up for Channing Tatum stripper movie ‘Magic Mike’
Steven Soderbergh signs on for Channing Tatum male-stripper movie ‘Magic Mike’

Comments (52 total) Add your comment
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  • Rebecca

    Even though he’s incredibly busy….. Chris Hemsworth. :-)

  • Johanna

    Woooo!!! I’ll be going on opening night with all my girls! Let’s go girls!
    Treated myself to a Thai massage today that felt sooo good and afterwards, people kept stopping me on the street to say, ‘Oh my God, you’re glowing.’

    • Cygnus

      They should change the title to Sausage Fest

  • Eshia

    Well… since Joe Manganiello has been stripping for nearly a year in my head-movies, I know that he’s great for this movie. So as long as everyone gives it their all, I’m sure this will at least be a cult-classic like Showgirls.

    • Maddie

      You don’t have to imagine it, he’s been stripping basically every week this summer on True Blood.

  • Nathan

    how about a better actor?

    • Lee

      WHO CARES IF HE CAN ACT?!?!?!?! It’s about time women get an eye candy movie. If Non-acting Cameron Diaz and wet herself up with a water hose in a crappy movie, then by all means LET THE MEN STRIP!

  • the_girl

    Yeah, I kind of need Mehcad Brooks in this movie. Do this for me and I promise to see it twice in the opening weekend for starters.

    • j

      i second that. first time i saw him was on desperate housewives, then on true blood. his body is gorgeous.

    • N

      I completely agree. His body is AH-MAZING!

  • TQB

    Oh this is fantastic. I love all the suggestions but also want them to change nothing. It would be nice if they depicted that many of us ladies find the lap dance scenario a bit uncomfortable and feel the need to make idle chitchat. This is going to be awesome.

  • Strepsi

    MUST BE IN THE MOVIE:
    – Matt Bomer doing a re-creation of Gregory Harrison’s “Zorro” stripper routine from “For Ladies Only”
    – At least one gay stripper (Levi Poulter)
    – At least 1 African American stripper (yeah, Mechad Brooks is good)
    – poppers

    PREDICTION: will absolutely bomb at theatres as straight men will refuse to go with their girlfriends. WIll do great on Video-on-demand, for, er… “pause” related reasons.

    • Martin Haro

      Levi Poulter?! Now, that’s an out-of-left-field choice. And by that I mean outta South Beach.

      Do they need a fluffer?
      @moviemartin

      • nn

        LoLoL

    • tess

      Thanks for the tip…I’ll go find Greg. Harrison’s dance and have a look. Funny, my friends and I thought Gregory Harrison would be a fitting choice to play Neal Caffrey’s dad in White Collar too (like father, like son…lol).

  • Brian

    Its totally the male “Showgirls.”

  • Bobby’s Robot

    Bomer and Mangianello. All the rest is icing on the cake.

    • RN

      ^this^

    • Anna

      I agree.

    • Lee

      AMEN, HIGH FIVE, DITTO AND SO ON! Makes me wish I had gone to Carnegie Mellon. Apparently that’s where the hotties are.

  • BG

    Ryan Kwanteen – as the med student working his way through school….

  • Randi

    I have high hopes that this won’t totally suck since it’s Steven Soderbergh at the helm. The man has skills…maybe he’ll do something more stripped down (mind the pun) like “Sex, Lies and Videotape” to avoid the “Showgirls” trap. Either way, it’s gonna be weird seeing Matt Bomer play anyone other than Neal Caffrey…maybe he can strip down to nothing but a Fedora. :)

  • Mike

    Full frontal nudity

    • Ken Adams

      The more naked they get, the more I’m willing to pay. In fact, if they borrow Spy Kid’s taste-o-vision for this one, I’m all in!

      • Chelsea

        Icing on the cake? This movie in 3-D.

  • Steven Ball

    That is an awful lot of male pulchritude in one movie. be sure to bring your smelling salts.

  • Joey

    Bring on the men!!!

  • Melody

    I think this movie needs Jamie Bell. He had great chemistry with Channing in The Eagle, can dance, and has a great body. Plus, he can act circles around most of the rest of the cast.

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