Mark Wahlberg anoints Taylor Lautner as his heir apparent: Surely, you chest!

Better looking than Leonardo DiCaprio? More ripped than Mark Wahlberg? Leaps tall trees in a single lycanthropic bound? Look, at Table 6, blushing like a schoolboy! It’s Taylor Lautner! The Twilight star was anointed by Wahlberg himself at yesterday’s Hollywood Foreign Press Association luncheon that donated more than $1.5 million in grants to arts programs. The Entourage godfather quipped to his Departed co-star, “I am sitting at a table with a gentleman who is better looking than you and is in better shape than me. So we’re both out of a job, dude. Taylor Lautner! We’re screwed. It’s over, dude. Titanic and Boogie Nights were a long time ago. I accept it. I had a good run, and on to the next.” Watch the clip below:

Lautner’s only 19 years old, so it remains to be seen if he can eventually build a career as successful and as varied as the two not-so-ugly and not-so-flabby Oscar nominees. DiCaprio earned his first Oscar nomination at 19, for What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, while Wahlberg was just getting rolling with his Funky Bunch at that age. Seems like Lautner’s doing okay for himself. Maybe we’ll know more on Sept. 23, when Lautner stars in his first major film, Abduction.

What kind of career does Lautner seem destined to have?

Comments (84 total) Add your comment
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  • BMW328

    I see a very Channing Tatum/Mark Wahlberg-esque career. No where close to the chops of DiCaprio, though. He should do just fine I think.

    • Mac

      Channing Tatum and Mark Wahlberg is a big spread, like picking a letter between A and Z (Mark is the A-lister, Channing is headed for a Luke Wilson-career). Honestly, Lautner has already Tatum, if only by a bit.

      • The Abject Misery Of Speidi

        Yeah, I was thinking exactly the same thing. Seeing how Mark Wahlberg has become a highly regarded and successful actor, and Channing Tatum is eye-candy in dreck.

      • annilee

        I think TL has a pretty big future in Hollywood, acting chops aside. He clearly is making very big friends in the business and doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously. He’s impressed a lot of industry-types and will work for a long time because of that, whether or not he can act (and the jury is still out on that one, he’s 19 for pete’s sake..). Since when has acting talent been the only barometer for success in the move business, anyway?

    • I think

      Mark was being sarcastic.

      • jennab

        I agree; btw, I saw Harry Potter 2 x, and both time the Abduction trailer was laughed off the screen; I think Lautner is doomed

      • Nina

        yeah, I’m sure if Abduction scores at the box office, he will absolutely be ‘doomed’. Considering most other young ‘stars’ these days have barely had a hit movie, I wouldn’t count him out.

      • Liz Lemon

        God I sincerely hope so.

  • Meg

    No one can replace Marky Mark and Jack.

  • whatevs

    Good sport, Mark. It’s obviously not true, but it’s a nice gesture.

  • Kat

    Not as good of an actor as Leo and probably never will be. But with some improvement (which he’ll get with age) i could see him having a Mark Wahlberg/Matt Damon kind of career.

    • stella

      I lol’d.

      • Regina George

        Haha. Me too.

    • A

      Yeee…no, I don’t see it.

    • Dave

      Mark Wahlberg and Matt Damon are both Oscar nominees, and for good reason: they can act. Lautner simply cannot. So no, he will not have a career like theirs.

      • alan of montreal

        But did we all think that Mark Wahlberg would really become the actor he is today when he was with the Funky Bunch? Or even Brad Pitt, for that matter, when he started out. We have no idea where Lautner is headed. He’s appearing in fluff now, but it’s possible that with time and experience, he could become an outstanding actor.

      • dj

        Don’t dismiss anyone too soon. When I saw Jessica Lange in KIng Kong I thought she was the worst; six years later she’s Oscar nominated for Frances and Tootsie in the same year.

      • The Abject Misery Of Speidi

        While DJ does have a point… yeah, Taylor L still sucks and is about as wooden as (well I was going to say Madonna, but any oak tree would suffice).

      • Ryan

        Uh yeah, those of us who are smart and saw boogie Nights knew Mark would be that good. Taking this seriously is offensive.

  • Marshall1

    I know I’ll probably get attacked by everyone in this post, but I find Taylor Lautner has the personality of a peanut…and he’s also not a very good actor….but he’s young and still have a bright future ahead of him…

    • Shannon

      No one has attacked you. I don’t think he’s a terrible Jacob Black, though. He acts like the juvenile pile of teenage werewolf hormones he’s supposed to be. He’s not a great actor, but he acts the part in the laughable Twilight films. Man, when those ridiculous things come on cable, I can’t help but watch them and laugh in bundles. Especially in Eclipse with that homoerotic tent scene. Why, thats the best thing the kid’s ever done! Have oddly free-flowing, wolf boy/vampire chemistry with the foxy fruit loop, Robert Patinson.

    • PTINDY

      AGREE 100%

  • MhM

    Taylor Lautner is the worst actor, have you ever watched him on film..?

    • AK

      Not to mention he is so unattractive! I can’t look at his face; there’s just something OFF about it. Better looking than DiCaprio? Definitely not.

      • DDubSolider

        Yeah DiCaprio & Wahlberg r better looking. Have u seen Mark’s brother Donnie?! Hotness!!

  • Lane

    I think he’s absolutely gorgeous and will only get more so with age and he seems like a really good guy from the interviews that i’ve seen but for me, taylor’s weakness is his acting.

    of course, I’ve only got twilight to go off of. interested to see how his abduction performance will be!

    • Meg

      Hey, don’t forget about SharkBoy and Lava Girl!

    • Dave

      Just watch the trailer for Abduction. His acting hasn’t gotten any better.

      • levelheaded

        I watched the trailer and I think he has improved. He could very well have a bright future in front of him.

        And I just don’t understand how people can think he’s ugly.

        At 19 I can gather he’s more successful in his career than any of us were in ours. (I know I didn’t even have a ‘career’ at 19)

  • jules

    “What? …no!”

  • MhM

    it is a funnny video tho..

    • Beverly

      I know, god damn! I’m sure they use invisible stgrnis on Bella to hold her back from making out with him. Either that or they made the scene separatley and video-edited them together in the scene BECAUSE WHO COULD RESIST THAT KISS?

  • Ash

    Hey, remember when Mark Wahlberg was Marky Mark, the annoying white rapper who couldn’t rap to save his own life and the only good thing he did where those underwear commercials? Look how far he’s come. Taylor could totally be nominated for an oscar one day

    • rose


  • hoganbcmj

    Mark Walberg still hasn’t convinced me he’s all that in the acting department.

    • Sucka

      yeah, he’s the same in every movie, and it wears thin fast

      • Dawn

        HEY! That’s worked for Hugh Grant & Micheal Cera for a while now.

      • Q

        Really? In what way was he the same in The Departed and The Fighter?

      • serenity

        so is Di Caprio.

      • serenity

        and it only makes his nomination list thicker. sorry for splitted post

    • Shannon

      Eh, he was cool in The Departed.

    • Nekh

      Hey Taylor you did an aosewme job in Twilight!! Can’t wait to see you in New Moon in November!! Are you guys making a Breaking Dawn movie??!

  • mike

    Well, Taylor has done what he can with those terribly written movies, I think we will have to wait and see with his next non-twilight movie.

  • George

    Taylor Lautner lacks the ACTING talent of both actors. Who knows? Maybe, he’ll get better with age. However, I seriously doubt it. Still, he’s far less grating than Robert Pattinson!

    • Shannon

      R. Patz is a good brooder, sulker, and all around kvetcher. (Sorry, felt like bringing out some Yiddish)
      He might be good at other things besides not bathing, but that remains to be seen.

      • @shannon

        really? rob chronically complains alot?

  • phil

    This guy can’t act a LICK!!!

  • Sugee

    Please Mark Walhberg, don’t say that. I don’t think Lautner is a good actor neither is he good looking. There is no way in hell that he can even compare himself to Leo. It’s just too big a feat. He’s not a bad guy though, so no offence, Lautner.

    • Sugee

      Besides, Lautner is still very young but as someone already said he could have a Channing Tatum sorta career but definitely not Dicaprio’s.

      • Haters

        How do you know? You got a crystal ball? Mark Walhberg was a criminal and a pop rapper once. I think Taylor has a chance to be just as successful or even moreso. He’s young and has a great future ahead of him.

    • John

      so funny kristen mesnsig with taylor play punching him she will rock the fight scenes in new SWATH she can fight lol taylor has allways been good to kristen and kristen has to taylor they get on so well they will be friends for life even when all the bd is over i whish good things for taylor and kristen

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