'The Smurfs' scores 0 on Rotten Tomatoes. So... how much do you love your children?

smurf_3d

Image Credit: Courtesy of Sony Pictures Animation

No one is expecting The Smurfs to threaten Woody, WALL•E, or Shrek's place on the Mount Rushmore of animated films -- we've seen the trailer after all. But early critical reception for the Sony Pictures Animation film has been more grouchy than Gargamel, with the animated film scoring a perfect zero on Rotten Tomatoes. [Update: After a luke-warm endorsement from the New York Times, The Smurfs has risen to a 19 percent RT rating.]

Which begs the question: How much do you love your children?

As anyone who has them knows, young children have an enormous impact on your moviegoing habits. Last week, I was the tie-breaking vote in deciding between The Zookeeper and Mr. Popper’s Penguins. (I’d rather not say which one I chose; the wound is still too raw.) Disney, Pixar, and DreamWorks Animation consistently turn out quality films to be enjoyed by all ages — Tangled, Toy Story 3, and How to Train Your Dragon were as much for Dad as for the kids. But having kids generally means lowering your cinematic standards a little. I sat through Yogi Bear, for example, because my 5-year-old wanted to see Yogi get slammed in the face with a pie, like he did in the trailer. That was a long 82 minutes, my friends.

So back to the question: How much do you love your children? Most of them don’t even know what the Smurfs were or are, except that they’re cute and blue and one of them slips into the toilet in the trailer! Into the toilet, Dad! But as Neil Patrick Harris says in the trailer, “Do not be fooled by their cuteness!” I’m not. But I’d be a fool to promise you I won’t see this adventure eventually. According to Fandango, The Smurfs is the No. 1 movie for pre-sold tickets so far this week, ahead of Cowboys & Aliens, Harry Potter, and Crazy, Stupid, Love. So I know I’m not alone. I plan to hold out as long as I can, but if it’s a rainy day, and our air conditioner breaks, and the library says I owe late fees, it might come down to The Smurfs or The Zookeeper — oops — and I’m not sure I can resist.

Are your kids lobbying for The Smurfs this weekend? What’s the worst movie you’ve endured to placate your children?

Read more:
New ‘Smurfs’ trailer: Watch the Smurfing Smurfs engage in Smurfy Smurf hijinks here. Smurf.
New ‘Smurfs’ trailer is pun-tastic
‘Smurfs’ teaser trailer: Smurf Happens, you know?

Comments (75 total) Add your comment
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  • LMFAO

    Only a sadist would see this.

    • azjeff

      I think you mean masochist

    • Stacie

      I think you mean masochist. The sadists are the ones who made it. I hope the animators who had to spend countless hours generated those things get the therapy they need.

      • Anno

        Well said Stacie.

  • UGH

    In some small way, I hope the blame goes to that uber-annoying Katy Perry.

    • Melissa

      This film isn’t even RATED!! I hope people aren’t bringing their children to it! It is filled with humor aimed at adults. Using the “smurf” terms as profanity and it seems that there is also a lot of sexual situations.

      Just because it is Smurfs doesn’t mean it is for kids!

      • psychokittyface

        It’s rated PG.

      • Vince from NYC

        Um there are many reasons not to watch it, but none that you said. Do they actually curse? No.. Is there nudity and/or sex? No.. So get a grip lady.. I’m sure there is mild violence too. That shouldn’t bother you though.. Violence is ok as long as there is no sex or cursing..We’d all rather have our kids be violent than sware or have sex one day..

      • Quirky

        Smurf off!

      • George

        Looks like someone accidentally downloaded the porno version…

  • whatevs

    You know, it’s ok to tell your kids no. There’s no reason to watch this drivel when there also exist quality films for all ages. Of course, those are still rare, but your kid can wait.

    • Encore

      Exactly. Some parents need to remind themselves they’re in charge and aren’t slaves of their children’s demands. Treating your children to a movie you don’t like is fine every once in a while, but the Smurf’s sounds like a perfect opportunity to say no.

    • La

      Absolutely this. Kowtowing to your kids every time they want something is a one-way ticket to Bratville.

    • Samantha

      I agree with this. If I don’t have the slightest inkling to see it, we’re not going. Especially when movie tickets are $10 a piece.

    • Mar

      Thankfully, the youngest is 10, so this particular movie is not an issue for me. BUT I did see Shark Boy years ago and, oddly, enjoyed it–partially because my kids loooved it. If one were to believe the critics at the time, it was the worst movie ever made. Was the bar set absurdly low and the movie seemed fine? At least Shark Boy encompassed the longings and dreams of small boys. I don’t think this retro corporate Smurf mess will be the same.
      Oh, and I lost the bet and saw the Zookeeper two weekends back. These kids owe me.

    • Amber

      At the very least they can wait for video where I can do something useful while they watch it. I agree with Samantha. It’s not so much a matter of taste (although I’d never see this on my own), but why would I spend $50 bucks on tickets and snacks for this kind of crap when my kid will be just as happy in another movie?

    • laylagalise

      Or simply “You’ll have to wait for the DVD.”

  • LOL

    Why does Hollywood continue to sell “kid’s movie” or “family movie” by pushing the most dumbed-down crap imaginable?

    • The Truth

      Because most parents today lack the ability to say no to their kids and Hollywood knows this. All Hollywood needs to do is make a couple of advertisements to get kids excited, sit back and the parents will walk up and hand them the money.

      • The Truth

        The saddest part of this is they are taking an old beloved Saturday morning cartoon and destroying it. That is worse then taking advantage of authority lacking parents.

      • Tim

        Beloved Saturday morning cartoon? Hardly! I’ve *always* hated the Smurfs. Even when I was young. Even at that age I thought it was stupid that they used Smurphy as a verb in every sentence.

    • iggy

      Because it is Hollywood. The truth is even most kids can recognize a crappy movie. It’s hard to believe that after all of the great, smart, and successful pictures Pixar has done, there are still folks in Hollywood that haven’t taken notes, still don’t get it, and still churn out garbage.

    • pastafarian

      catering to the lowest common denominator allows them to cast the widest net possible to sell the most tickets. Not to mention overseas viewing, which is a lot easier to dub when theres no real dialogue to speak of. What’s Danish for smurf?

  • Lex

    I promised my best friend I’d see this with her months ago (she wants to go on a nostalgia trip, I wanted to see NPH). I’ve been going to Rotten Tomatoes frequently hoping there is a mistake. Or as more reviews come in that 0 will go up to a nice solid 15. I can live with that! Now I am DREADING tomorrow night. Maybe I should get a new best friend :(

  • lettergirl

    this looks like big, steaming pile of smurf. no thanks.

  • Regina George

    Because America loves crap. Or at least according to you.

    • Regina George

      That was directed toward LOL, not lettergirl.

      • lettergirl

        thanks! :)

      • Gretchen Weiners

        That is so fetch!

      • Regina George

        Stop trying to make fetch happen. It’s not going to happen.

  • Emoney

    My children do not know what the Smurfs are, and apparently the commercials are enough for the, because they haven’t asked about it. But yes, I love them a lot, and I did sit through Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeaquel for them.

  • Marcus

    whatevs has a good point. There isn’t a law which requires you to take your kids to see every movie out there. There are plenty of family-friendly activities you can do with your kids until a movie that is worth your time hits the theater. Tell them no, read them a book, take them to the park, etc.; be creative.

  • crispy

    Have any other movies ever gotten a perfect zero before?

    • Regina George

      Love, Wedding, Marriage, that Mandy Moore film was given a 0

    • Nirveeze

      Wasn’t that the score the Sarah Palin propoganda film made?

      • Mocha

        Yup. And you know what didn’t get a 0? Battlefield Earth. It got a 2%. So according to Rotten Tomatoes, even Battlefield Earth is better than Smurfs and Sarah Palin.

  • ObiHave

    The Smurfs were stupid when they were on Saturday mornings…I doubt the depth of their intelligence has deepened two decades later. That said, sometimes loving your children means teaching them what crap is and why you don’t support it.

  • Ian

    I’ve got a while before I have to put up with crap for the kids (I’m only 18) but my mother still hasn’t let me making her see Inspector Gadget and Batman & Robin go.

  • JS

    Im an NPH fan…I’m just wondering how he thought attaching himself to this crap would be a good career move? I have to assume he was just too busy to read the script or understand the premise before signing on.

    • Samantha

      then as an nph fan you should know nearly every movie he’s done is awful. I don’t know why he does it. Possibly because he’s not getting offered anything else and he wants the residual checks for when himym ends.

      • Diane

        I thought Meatballs was kind of funny

    • Vince from NYC

      He signed on because Jason Lee made a bunch of Money off Alvin and the Chipmonks.

  • Aprilcot26

    As I treat, I took my school-aged cousins to a movie a few years back. What did they want to see? Santa Clause 3. Awful, just…awful.

  • Woot

    But I like Neil Patrick Harris and Jayma Mays… too bad.

    • Woot

      Also, it apparently got a fresh review. So it’s now at 6%

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