Remember last October, when Gretchen won Project Runway season 8 over Mondo, and everything you believed in — fashion-forwardness, justice, big-ass polka dots — just disintegrated into a sad heap of burlap? Plenty of Runway fans, outraged that Nina Garcia and Michael Kors somehow got their way even though everyone watching on TV thought Gretchen’s clothes were terrible, may have written off the Lifetime series.
Not me. For one thing, I’ll be recapping season 9 on this here EW.com. So I have to watch it! But get this: I volunteered. Gretchen was infuriating, but she’s gone. Wiped off the face of the planet! There are plenty of Project Runway mainstays that’ll forever keep me coming back. The stilted product placement! The Hells Kitchen-esque knife sounds as Tim Gunn enters the Parsons workroom and the overworked zombies jerk up in terror! Tim in general! And oh, what range and power there is in a Michael Kors’ giggle! How the earth shakes under the force field of a single Nina Garcia’s disapproving facial expression? Lo, is that Heidi Klum mangling another English idiom (“They’ll be selling like bagels”)? That bitch is always reminding me about all of the different carbs. And I love it!
Not to mention, it’s the middle of summer, so duh. I’m watching Runway.
Can you forgive Michael and Nina? Better yet: Are you going to let Gretchen’s granny panties be the boss of you?
You. You are the boss of you.
If you tune in, come back here later on to read my Project Runway recap. If you don’t, read it anyway. There will be pictures. No words, guys. Ya gotta see it.