Gwyneth Paltrow disrobes for 'Vanity Fair'

If you mention the word fishnet stockings, I automatically envision Anne Bancroft. It’s a Pavlovian reaction after seeing The Graduate when I was 16 years old — though in hindsight, I don’t think what Mrs. Robinson wore were technically fishnet. No matter. Well, Anne, it was a good run. May I introduce Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vanity Fair photo (below) for its On Jewellery calendar, which appears in the August issue. (Yes, she’s wearing jewelry. I had to look twice, too.)

Read more:
Gwyneth Paltrow joins Facebook and Twitter
Gwyneth Paltrow’s Bon Appetit cover
Gwyneth Paltrow raps N.W.A. song, hip-hop world doesn’t implode as a result

Comments (158 total) Add your comment
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  • David Halliday

    I remember when I looked that good.

    • stan


  • Sarah

    Hmmm. I thought I was reading EW, not Maxim. Interesting.

    • Mr. Holloway

      Oh, boo-hoo!

      9 out of 10 articles of this type on EW are shirtless vampire this or abs that. Let us guys just a little fun. :)

      • Sarah

        True. Sigh.

    • D’s Advocate

      Could be that your real issue is with Vanity Fair.

      • Larry

        She’s skinny (nice) but flat as a board (not so nice). And over the hill.

      • gazmo

        What’s flat as a board is your brainpan.

      • susela

        Her “flat as a board” looks a lot nicer than the usual inflated fake monstrosities….

      • Squishmar

        Exactly Susela. If Larry finds skinny girls “nice” but also wants large breasts, I hope he likes silicone… but judging by his ‘over the hill’ comment, I’m guessing he’s either 14 years old or just a Neanderthal and therefore, wouldn’t mind fake t!ts.

      • Steven

        I’d definitely over that hill. And that “flat” board must be warped.

      • Wayne

        @Larry……..ever heard the world MILF…

      • Jessica

        Larry = destroyed

      • Pete

        How about we size up men by their penis size Larry would that be cool? But thankfully we DON’T because that’s just so juvenile..why don’t you grow up already..

  • Jay

    Very nice pic, thanks EW. Made my morning :)

    • dave

      Agreed Jay.

    • Sean

      jesus she’s hot

      • Simon

        No question. Sexy without being trashy. Yum.

  • Ben

    Somebody needs a cheeseburger…..

    • gazmo

      No Ben – anyone who makes that kind of comment needs to lose about 60 pounds. You and all the other Chubby-chasers and skinny-haters should just keep your self-destructive obesity-loving comments to yourself. (You probably only can type them – since your mouth is always full).

      • Matt W

        Christina Hendricks. Enough said.

      • SaraS

        @Matt W: Christina Hendricks is looking waaaay too chubby lately. Sorry but it’s true. Look at any photos. Big boobs = good; pooch hanging out = not so good.

      • Karate Pants

        Oh, SaraS…steel yourself, girl. Mr. Holloway will not have you talking about his lovely flower like that. And I happen to disagree with you too, I envy her body.

      • @KaratePants

        She’s a hero to fat women. She wears spanx very well. I don’t even know how she breathes…

      • Mr. Holloway

        You’re dead to me, SaraS.

      • Karate Pants

        Hero to fat women? Good Lord. Either your scope of beauty is dreadfully narrow, or there’s a “Joan” in your office stealing your thunder. I can’t tell.

      • Larry

        When did fat become “curvy”? Fat is fat. Sorry cows.

      • AltDave

        How’s that being a total a$$ho1e working out for you, gazmo?

      • gazmo

        Just fine AltDave:
        How’s it been to not see your toes in 40 pounds?

      • gazmo

        I think we were twins separated at birth.
        You’re absolutely right my friend!
        Fat IS fat – only fatHEADS call fat ‘curvy’.

      • Squishmar

        Fat is fat. Yes. But there is a curvy that’s definitely not fat. Examples: Christina Hendricks, Beyonce, Sofia Vergara, Monica Bellucci, Kim Kardashian. And in the past, Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, Sophia Loren. It’s called an hourglass figure and most men appreciate it and most women covet it. (Although, admittedly, Beyonce is really more of a pear… but still nice.)

      • Squishmar

        And the better question Larry, is not “when did fat become ‘curvy’?”…it’s “When the hell did curvy become fat?” Of course, if you prefer the 12-year-old boy look, go to it.

      • Adam

        A valid point. Yes, there are people with anorexia, but ‘curvy’ is generally a euphemism for a few too many pounds. Type-II diabetes is a very serious issue, and the glamourization/normalization of ‘natural’ body weight–which is already in the diabetes danger zone–isn’t a positive trend for health.

      • Michael McQuire

        WHOA!!!! slow down gazmo, it’s only a blog. the guy was probably drunk. do NOT lump all guys together in THAT way!!! what’s in your heart is the thing a Gentleman looks for, NOT skinny or fat!!!

    • Peggy


    • Quirky

      IMO, you’re only too skinny if you can see a ribcage.

      • KSG

        I bet that if you put Gwyneth’s height and weight into a BMI calculator, she would be in the unhealthy range.

      • gazmo

        I bet if we put YOUR height and weight in a BMI calculator it would say you need to gain 17 inches.

      • mis

        In your opinion? who cares about your opinion that is what is wrong with this country you want eat like pigs and be uunealthy and everyone pains for it in medical cost and then you make dumb comments like in your opinion. Health is not about your opinion if she is healthy and skinny that is a good thing if she is healthy and fat then fine but your opinion is of no value in health matters. And no seeing someone’s rib cage has nothing to do with health.

      • KSG

        Gazmooo: Guess what? I did put my weight into the calculator and I’m in the middle of normal range–Gwyneth would have to gain 10 pounds to be in the normal range based on her height/weight (a web site claims she is 5’9″ and between 110 and 120) If she is 115 lbs, she would have to gain 10 to be at the bottom edge of the “normal” range. Get over it peopl–not everyone who thinks she is creepy skinny is a tub of lard…….Her comments to her “friend” Ross Matthews about his weight makes me think she is a major hag…….

      • gazmo

        KSG: You just want EVERYBODY to be fat and dumpy to make you happy. Gwyneth looks GREAT to people with a NORMAL idea of what the female form should be.
        Get over yourself, bunky!!

      • Anonymous

        BMI is such a joke. It says I’m underweight. While I may be thin, I’m nowhere near scary skinny. It also says muscular people are obese. It’s not a good way to measure proper weight. Gwyneth is skinny, but she has always been skinny! Her mom is skinny. It’s clearly genetics. And she also eats right. Good for her.

      • Blonde South

        IMO she doesn’t look overly skinny. She looks like she’s naturally that way, not anorexic. She’s probably just got high metabolism.

  • wtfnyc

    Body: Great. Picture: CREE-PEE.

    • Squishmar

      It’s just not that great of a picture from a photography standpoint. It doesn’t really wow me. I wonder who took the photo?

  • Mr. Holloway

    Completely unsuccessful as a jewelry ad, but Gwyneth looks fantastic.

  • john

    How is this even a story…is this somehow the first time she’s disrobed for anything.

    • UGH

      She was pretty much naked in Great Expectations.

      • Jack

        A million years ago… what’s your point?

      • UGH

        I was merely answering john’s question.
        Having a problem with reading comprehension, Jack?

      • Jacksadouche

        Jack, why the snotty “what’s your point” question? Is that what you like to do from your miserable place in life, go online and make your little comments to make you feel good? Read the messages next time–you know, and try and comprehend them you moron.

      • gazmo

        is a douche.

  • Liz

    Her facial expression definitely makes this a creepy picture. Wtf.

    • KC

      That’s the expression of her changing her mind for this bad idea.

    • lil d

      I agree. I feel like the fact that she is thin and fairly flat chested together with the pose and facial expression… it’s all sort of infantilizing to me.

      • gazmo

        lil d:
        Climb back into bed with your chips and your Pepsi and your big tubby hubby and tell yourselves you’re ‘big-boned’ and ‘curvy’ while you wait for the Pizza delivery to arrive.

      • lil d

        gazmo, that is insulting. I would never drink Pepsi.

      • Squishmar

        …and gazmo, grease up your hand and try not to think about adolescent males. And repeat over and over, “I really do like women. I really do like women.”

      • gazmo

        I really do like women . . .
        I really do like women . .
        just not the big tubs of lard with butts that look like 2 half kegs stuffed in their jeans, who think ALL girls should be CURVY (i.e. FATFATFAT).
        THOSE ones are all yours Squishy!!
        ENJOY!! (just be careful about letting them on top – I worry about your safety)

      • Squishmar

        Apparently, gazmo doesn’t get that I’m a woman. (And no, not a fat woman.)

      • gazmo

        I’d guess that MOST people don’t get that you’re a woman.

  • DGator

    Feed the poor girl.

    • gazmo

      Oink Oink Oink you fat a-hole.

  • Louigi

    Of course Gwyneth “disrobes.” La-tee-da. If it were anyone else, you would said “strips” or “gets naked.”

    You can just tell she’s an arrogant person.

    • gazmo

      Louigi – someone went out partying with your meds and left you the placebos.

      • Batman

        ha ha. served.

  • Jay

    Put a bag over her head and this would be good.

    • gazmo

      Just put a bag over your johnson and save the world some pain and disappointment.

      THAT would be good!!

      • Kim

        At least a bag over his johnson would look better than that picture

      • Galen

        I think Gwyneth staying away WOULD be GOOD!

      • Smithee

        i’d rather stare at the bag than at her arrogant face

      • ATL

        Can you imagine if a Louis Vuitton bag was over her head. This photo would be artful.

      • Altair

        Why does everyone hate her? Sure, she’s annoying, but I’d do her…

    • Chris

      Are you a Cody Rhodes fan?

      • Kinky

        There’s nothing wrong with wearing a bag on your head. My wife has me do it all of the time. Her Gucci bag fits very well, but she said she wants to try plastic at some point. Apparently the pool boy suggested it.

      • Squishmar

        Did she suggest this right after you took out that new life insurance policy?

    • Simon

      Are you kidding? The woman’s got eyes like a deer. Her face is the best part.

  • boomerangtheatre

    very sexy.

  • Lauren

    She looks fantastic. Except that she looks like she’s afraid of something.

  • mydove

    I think she looks beautiful. Just as we admire that model with the belly flap as at her ideal weight, we should too admire Gwyneth as being at hers.

    • Reality

      It’s amazing what photoshop can do. let’s see the unaltered pics before we start declaring how beautiful she looks.

      • mydove

        Doesn’t change a thing I’ve said.

      • Celimene

        I agree. Bet you they photoshopped her ribs out, and she’s clearly positioned to give the illusion of having hips. My husband’s response to this? “She looks like a ten year old boy.” And before you call me a fatty, my BMI is 22.5 – well within normal range.

      • Carmine Serapiglia

        LOOKING GOOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Caren

      She us think but not scary thin at all. You can tell she does eat.

  • Nano

    skinny skinny skinny!

    • gazmo

      Nano is FAT FAT FAT!!!
      Get over it honey – you can’t convince EVERYONE to climb on the crazy train to Overeaterville!!!

      • AltDave

        Get away from your keyboard, loser. I’m sure there’s a lot of small children and puppies in your neighborhood that you haven’t tortured yet, better get crackin’!

      • gazmo

        You’re welcome to your opinion!!
        It’s pretty obvious that there isn’t anything ELSE in your life.

      • AltDave

        You’re a real piece of work, gazhole. Replying with childish insults to EVERY POST on this talkback day after day, and you tell me I have nothing else in my life? You’d be funny if you weren’t such a pathetic douche.

      • gazmo

        At the very LEAST your comments apply equally to you. so suck it d!ckw@d!!
        and .. . have a nice day!!!

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