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Dear sport,
Your grandmother and I “tuned in” to a new program last night. Well, we never, just never, have seen so much juggling!
The series is presided over by three judges. Two of them are genuine British types. The third one is named Howie. I don’t care for his goatee. He also seemed like quite a poor sport. After the first juggler balanced himself on Howie’s head, he spent the next few minutes sulking. The British gentleman, who your grandmother says is Larry King’s son, specifically voted the juggler along in order to taunt Howie. How wicked those Brits are! Do you remember when we visited London after your high school graduation?
Oh dear, I worry about teenagers today. A girl named Stephanie walked onstage and screamed through a song. She sounded just like that horrible Lady Googah. We much preferred the adorable trio of lads named the “SH’Boss boys” (is this part of your Internet slang?). By the way, did you notice we are using The Internet to compose this message? Those lads rhymed about education and having fun — over music! We think we’ve finally learned to enjoy “rapping,” although only when the themes are positive and the performers are non-threatening. At least they weren’t British!
The series is hosted by a lovely fellow named Nicholas. In Los Angeles, he was wearing a jacket with blue suspenders, just like your grandfather wore when Gram Gram and I were going steady. And in Atlanta (on the television), Nicholas wore a suit that looked just like the suit your great-grandfather wore when he shook President Roosevelt’s hand!
Much love,
Your Grandparents
P.S. We never hear from you!
Read more:
‘America’s Got Talent’ season premiere: Who’d you like the most? Team iLuminate? The SH’Boss Boys?
‘America’s Got Talent’: Where are you, Prince Poppycock?
Whoever wrote this is hilarious.
lol, that’s good
. There should be more posts like this 
This was dumb.
Agreed, especially since AGT’s 18-49 rating of 4.2 was much higher than Glee has averaged lately (the finale excepted). The snarky 20something who wrote this was clearly pleased with himself, though.
Lame.
BEST RECAP EVER
STUPIDEST RECAP EVER. Pointless, other than a lame attempt at ageism.
AGREED. BEST RECAP EVER. EW, more funny! More! And yeah, my 60 year old Dad LOVES this show. That and NCIS.
All 60 year olds love NCIS. Too funny
I loved this. One question, though. Did your Gram Gram and Grampa have an illegitimate child? “In Los Angeles, he was wearing a jacket with blue suspenders, just like your father wore when Gram Gram and I were going steady.” How can the recipient’s father (who would be the child of the grandparents) be wearing suspenders if Gram Gram and Gramps were only going steady?? Huh? HUH?!?
Gram Gram has a past. She was a wild woman! Dare I say, hussie?
WTF is this?
Annie BArrett twetted this link, so I assume she wrote it.
Probably. Annie seems like the type who would write something as weird and hilarious as this.
LOL. This was super weird, and I kind of loved it. I love the byline. And the use of “sport”. And the writing-an-email-like-a-letter style. And older folks totally DO love AGT. I’m sure plenty of young’uns do as well (though I LOATHE it), but my mom can never stop telling me about all the auditions the next day. She also never remembers that I do not like or watch this show, because she always asks “Did you see the _____ people on AGT last night?”
How adorable is this!! Thoroughly enjoyed reading this letter =)