Gwyneth Paltrow talks mean grandmother on 'Chelsea Lately,' drops the c-bomb

Chelsea Handler and Gwyneth Paltrow could pass for sisters. They’re both attractive blonds. They’re both half-German. They both had grandmothers they called Mutti. And they both threw their grandmothers under the bus last night. Handler explained that her Mutti “was a real b—-,” but Paltrow raised the stakes, saying “My Mutti was a real c—.”

Nice. Paltrow explained that her Mutti “tried to poison my mother against me, but it didn’t work because I have a great mother … She must not have been very happy and she must have had a lot of pain because she was mean as hell.”

After Handler joked that people should retire Mutti — the German word for mother — Paltrow added that her own “hot” mom, Blythe Danner, goes by Lalo around the grandchildren. And this was only after she tried to inflict Woof on them. Watch the clip below and scroll to 3:58 for much about Mutti.

Grandmother nicknames are the best, especially for the non-b—–s and non-c—s. My kids experimented with Gagem, and I think my mother was crushed when their speech developed and they settled on the traditional Grandmom. Gagam is a pretty kick-ass name, for a grandmom or a comic book villain. It’s no Mutti, though.

What’s your most unconventional grandparent nickname?

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Comments (43 total) Add your comment
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  • Orca The Killer Talk Show Host

    Their grandmothers did not beat them enough.

    • Lala

      Exactly. And why would they call their grandmothers “Mutti”. Weren’t their own mothers around?

  • crispy

    Memama. (I think it’s a southern thing)

    • missjupiter

      I’ve heard Meemaw (also southern) which must be a derivative of Memama.

      My cousin’s kids had a hard time saying “Grandpa” for a while, and it just sounded like “Crappa” which made me laugh to no end.

  • shonna

    I called my Dad’s mother Gangan.

  • Sara

    Both my grandmothers were just referred to as “Grandma”, or “Grandma Mary” and “Grandma Jane” if we needed to distinguish or address them more formally. I never saw it as any different than “uncle steve” or “aunt louise” as far as relationship-name construction.

  • Monty

    I always liked the Bluth family’s Gangie/Gangy.

    • Super C

      Agreed! Gangie and Pop-Pop are my favorite granparent names.

      • Rick Gershman

        The mere fact that you call making love “Pop Pop” tells me that you’re not ready.

  • she sucks

    what a complete monster.

  • Kate

    I always called my grandmother MaMa! You have to include the exclamation mark to get the accent right–haha. When I started calling her Grandma a few years ago (I’m 22 now) she would always try to correct me and get me back to her chosen name.

  • Kvinna

    Both are women are harpies. I bet their grandmothers were a lot more down to earth than they ever could be.

  • Jenn

    She’s been in England too long. The word has a different weight over there.

  • Jon

    Chelsea Handler is a repulsive human being. Read one of her books if you really want to detest her. We shouldn’t get too down on Paltrow, though, because Owen Gleiberman will write a 5,000-word post about how we beat up on her unnecessarily.

  • Kathryn

    We always called my grandmother Oma and my grandfather Opa. German for grandma and grandpa. My Oma was a real c**t too.

    • Katja

      I’m sorry your Oma wasn’t very nice. One of my grandmothers was a war bride from Germany, so we called her and my grandfather Oma and Opa (and all of my aunts are “Tante”)…but my Oma was a living saint. She was one of the best, strongest, most kindhearted women I will ever know in my life, and I was lucky enough to enjoy over 20 years with her before she died. I will always treasure knowing her. It’s funny; “Oma” will always be synonymous with “deep faith” and “open heart” and “role model” to me, so I just can’t even wrap my head around the idea of a mean Oma. I hope your Oma’s unpleasantness didn’t hurt you too much.

  • CCam

    This isn’t terribly unconventional, but we called my Grandma “Nuny,” based on “Nonna,” italian for Grandmother.

  • Ashley

    Who cares? People in this country are such hypocrites. They get all up in arms about cussing and nudity (insert eye roll), but then don’t bat an eye at all the violence in our society, whether on T.V. or on the streets.

  • Edna

    MomMommy = Mom’s Mmmy.

  • Jess

    My daughter calls my dad crampa. Its pretty cute.
    I called my grandma Oma and my grandpa Opa.

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