Every gross-yet-delicious-sounding food item Ron Swanson has mentioned on Parks and Recreation has made my mouth water in fatty shame. Last week’s turkey burger (a fried turkey leg inside of a grilled hamburger) was no exception.
Today, I learned food dreams come true: The people at eater.com (via HuffPo) have created such a concoction! They simply took a fried, 1 lb+ turkey leg and smashed it the middle of 5 lbs of ground beef, stuck it in the oven, and, once cooked and grilled, placed it between a round loaf of bread. That’s right: over six pounds of food. Take that, bacon-wrapped turkey leg! You would fall below this “turkey burger” on the Pyramid of Greatness. But on that note, I’d like to see you both in a recipe book, penned by Ron Swanson.
It wouldn’t be the first book written by a fictional character, but it would certainly be the first book by a fictional character I would actually read (…and possibly say oaths upon). So let’s make that happen, Parks Gods. I can already envision the entry for the perfect Swanson breakfast:
5 strips of bacon
Cook it. Eat it.
Plus, how could you not trust a man who has a gunshot as his ringtone to cook you a quality meal? In my motherland (Texas) that’s the first man you’d want to call “chef.”
Your turn, PopWatchers. Which recipes would you like to see in this Ron Swanson cookbook that I’ve decided must happen? (Bonus points if you create it in detail as I did above.) And what would you title the cookbook? (In my mind, I’m calling it You Had Me at Meat Tornado.)
Follow Sandra on Twitter for more on breakfast foods @EWSandraG