Candy Land adaptation nabs 'Kung Fu Panda' writers. Now, let's cast the movie!

Seyfried-Frostine-Split

Image Credit: Ian Gavan/Getty Images

Looks like the Candy Land movie is jumping ahead a few green spaces: Universal confirms with EW that Kung Fu Panda writers Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger are set to write the adaptation of the popular board game, while Kevin Lima (Enchanted) is attached to direct the film. It’s tasty news for those of us who are not allergic to the idea of a board game on the big screen — though I understand a Candy Land film mostly gives studios the opportunity to profit off of merchandise in Target’s game aisle or at your local theater’s snack bar, I can’t resist the draw of a project that aims to present all of the game’s sugary, nostalgic images in a fantastical, color-laced feature. It will be just like Katy Perry’s “California Gurls,” except with fewer whipped cream boob guns! But now that we know the project is skipping along, let’s get to the important stuff: Let’s cast Candy Land, The Movie!

As a child of the 1980s, I’m going to use the 30-year-old version of the game as a reference, because, even though I understand that the creatures from it were totally irrelevant and as vague and questionable as McDonald’s Grimace, I cannot fathom a Candy Land without Jolly or Plumpy. (Mamma Ginger Tree? Ugh, stop trying. You don’t even have a mustache!) So here goes, in order in which they appear in the board game:

The Kids: Diary of a Wimpy Kid‘s 13-year-old star Zachary Gordon has proven to be a box office draw. Give ‘im some hair dye and an almost-13 Elle Fanning, and you’ve got yourself some twins!

Plumpy: If I was just casting based on the mustache alone, I’d go Tom Selleck. But let’s face it: The man oozes far too much sex to be peddling plums to children. (Dear god, I hope that’s not a euphemism.) For this, I’m going to go with the family-friendly option of John Goodman.

Lord Licorice: Here’s hoping we can watch Daniel Day-Lewis method act his way into this possibly (probably) evil dark lord. Lord Licorice is always after your milkshake. But can you blame him? He’s made of licorice. Ew.

Mr. Mint: Who has legs like that? This one’s difficult — we have to search for the proper mixture of skinny and flexible. I’d go with Jay Baruchel. Or Paul McDonald.

Jolly: She’d have to push those glasses off her nose, but Whoopi Goldberg in a fat suit is a delectable idea. Or (more likely), if you prefer your Jolly to be ironically named, angry Jack Black.

Gramma Nutt: Is there anyone else for the role but Angela Lansbury?

Princess Lolly: Gawd, Princess Lolly. Looking at her, you know she just had a Super Sweet 16 party. So not fair. I’d like to go Kristin Cavallari circa 2004, but it’s not 2004. Let’s do AnnaLynne McCord. She’s a whole year younger!

Queen Frostine: I will somehow get over the jealousy of whoever bags the Queen Frostine role, which I pretty much thought was guaranteed to me when I was six years old rifling through my costume box. In fact, I hoped I would one day grow up to become Queen Frostine. (I am now told by a friend that she resembles a hooker. I had big dreams, folks. Big dreams!) But for this ethereal creature, let’s go Amanda Seyfried. She has the eyes.

Gloppy the Molasses Monster: This one’s obvious. The Lord of the RingsAndy Serkis, using motion capture.

King Kandy: For King Kandy, otherwise known as the subject of the “winning space,” you need someone warm, welcoming, and jolly. I’d say Robin Williams, but if I were The Kids, I wouldn’t want to spend dessert with hopped-up Mork. (Can’t get a word in edgewise!) Instead, I’m going to go with Zach Galifianakis, because you can’t live in a castle made of candy unless you’re a little bit unhinged.

Your turn, PopWatchers! Who should be cast in the delicious Candy Land adaptation?

Read more:
‘Candy Land’…the movie? What’s next, ‘Hungry Hungry Hippos: The Motion Picture’?
Movies about board games? Seriously?
Ouija board game movie will be action-packed

Comments (21 total) Add your comment
Page: 1 2
  • Rebecca

    I don’t know why, but I LOVE this idea.

  • kats

    Brava, Kate Ward! While the idea of a movie based on Candy Land initially left me at the wrong end of a sugar bender, your article made me reconsider a little. I would suggest Viggo Mortenson (sp), as anything. Pretty much because he’s yummy…

  • shego219

    Not sure how I feel about the movie yet, but I’m in love with this article.

  • hza

    Gaga for Queen Frostine. She’s already got the dress.

    • Elle Fanning

      Gaga fo sho!

  • Ms. M

    I actually think a Candy Land movie would be fun. But why do a live action film? This seems so well-suited for an animated movie. A literal version of Candy Land might come off looking weird, like those live action Doctor Seuss movies.

    • pastafarian

      I would imagine they would go for look resembling the latest Alice in Wonderland, only a little less sinister-looking.

      • mscisluv

        And hopefully a little less awful?

  • Miss B

    Gramma Nutt- Betty White
    Lord Licorice- Hugo Weaving

  • Kristen Day

    There is already a cartoon movie version of Candyland. My kids love it.

  • ellie

    I think this as a movie sounds horrible, but I like your casting ideas.

  • pastafarian

    I grew up with the 1978 edition, and I don’t recall any of those characters. But I do remember candy. And some land.

    • Maggie

      Characters didn’t appear until the 80′s. That’s the version I had.

  • Buffy Freak

    Why would Whoopi Goldberg need a fat suit?

  • David

    Doug Jones for Mr. Mint!!!

  • court

    Kate, This article is awesome (although I’m not sold on AnnaLynne McCord as Princess Lolly). Daniel Day-Lewis as Lord Licorice is the most brilliant casting choice ever.

  • Fingerlakes Dave

    What a waste of time and talent

  • Sarah

    Could be interesting…but not digging the Amanda Seyfried suggestion…watching her act is like watching paint dry, and her eyes are the least expressive thing about her. And I think they should get Matt Lucas for Plumpy, and Hugo Weaving for Lord Licorice

  • Sarah

    I would prefer someone like Amy Adams to play Queen Frostine instead.

Page: 1 2
Add your comment
The rules: Keep it clean, and stay on the subject - or we may delete your comment. If you see inappropriate language, e-mail us. An asterisk (*) indicates a required field.

When you click on the "Post Comment" button above to submit your comments, you are indicating your acceptance of and are agreeing to the Terms of Service. You can also read our Privacy Policy.

Latest Videos

Advertisement

From Our Partners

TV Recaps

Powered by WordPress.com VIP