Christina Aguilera detained for public intoxication. Here, Xtina, have some much-needed PopWatch Therapy.

christina-aguileraImage Credit: Christopher Polk/Getty ImagesHey there, Christina. Come on over. Take a seat. Would you like a snack? No, I understand I sound a bit like Chris Hansen right now, but this is not To Catch a Predator. This is PopWatch Therapy. Why do you need it? Well, it seems you’ve been experiencing some hard knocks as of late. You filed for divorce from Jordan Bratman last October. Your film, Burlesque, didn’t do so well at the box office in November. Photos stolen from you by a computer hacker leaked onto the Web in December. You flubbed a line singing “The Star-Spangled Banner” before the Super Bowl in February. And, just last night, those hard-partying rumors caught up with you when you were detained on suspicion of public intoxication, transforming you into the subject of ridicule for bloggers and Internet commenters worldwide.

So that’s where we come in. Never known to kick celebrities when they’re down (well, it depends which ones), we’re here to help. To provide, as Stuart Smalley would say, some daily affirmation. (At least for today.) So, without further ado, let’s list off some of your admirable qualities, shall we?

  • Repeat showings of this video on TRL proved that there ain’t no other girl who can writhe like you.
  • You once wore this vest. That’s winning!
  • Your neck is strong enough to support this kind of hair.
  • Your name seems to indicate that you’re concise and to-the-point, Xtina.
  • “Dirrty” proved you work well in large groups.
  • You think quickly on your patriotic feet. Plus, since you can easily fill in the blanks, you’d be a great Mad Libs partner.
  • Come on: Your soaring voice!
  • This one comes directly from EW’s Annie Barrett: “Whenever I try on lip color that is definitely too dark for me/all blonde women, I automatically think of you. That’s a real accomplishment!”
  • Finally, you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, (some) people like you!

Let’s help a girl out, PopWatchers: Let’s tell Xtina why we still love her! Oh, and, Christina, just listen to this song if you want to feel better. It always works for us.

Read more:
Christina Aguilera detained for intoxication
Christina Aguilera’s ‘Star-Spangled’ flub: It’s time to forgive

Comments (31 total) Add your comment
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  • amanda

    Here’s a thought: she could go back to SINGING. That’s the one thing she always had over Britney, she could actually sing…and quite well. Quit trying to be a sexpot/skank and sing. Stay inside your house and take care of your kid(instead of going to parties or pap filled bars) and make a good album. That’s really all she needs to do, the public is pretty forgiving.

    • E

      I think it’s hard to call the public forgiving and then call her a skank in the same sentence. But I do want to say that she never STOPS singing and it drives me nuts. She oversings so much it’s the world’s never ending quest for relevance. She should go the Celine Dion route and get a vegas show so I never have to listen to her.

  • sad

    I’ve always liked her music. It’s sad…what a life she has where she has chances for more and more new success and what does she do…she goes in the car with her drunk boy toy driving.

    • LOL

      Hammer time!

  • Chism

    Still aboard the Aguilera train! Somepeople have bad days, and sometimes they last a year! Chin up the sun’s coming out!

    • DJ Wood

      Nice comment, Chism! I agree 100%

    • irene46

      i wish more would stay aboard and help give the support that she really needs.

      there seems to be an outright attempt to create the most negative image of her as possible. no matter what she does the media continuously focuses on the negative aspects of her career.

      she was hotly critized for impersonating lady gaga who is guilty of impersonating almost every artist in creation, including christina! then she had her one album flop and the media starts beating the drum of doom. they predicted her movie would be a flop and when that turned out not to be the case they still falsely condemn it as so! it made $75million in profit world wide before even going to dvd (which ew hasn’t bothered to mention). it may not be an epic, but it’s far from a flop!!!

      there’s some strange ‘hate christina’ shananagens going on in the media.

      whatever britney spears lacks in talent (and it’s alot!) her fanbase is to be envied. they wouldn’t stand a minute for britney abuse (lol)! true christina fans could learn alot from them!!!

  • Shasta

    Way Harsh Tai…

    • Alissa

      thank you for actually making me laugh. that is such an always appropriate quote.

  • Molly

    I love Christina’s music. I remember just three years ago mentioning to my dad that she was the one of the only Disney starlet that managed to have a consistent career, win grammys, stay classy, and not have a mental breakdown. Oh, I wish I had knocked on wood…

    • Jamie

      Clearly, you need to read. The LAPD said themselves that she did nothing wrong (other than being drunk and getting in the car with a then drunk driver) and will not be charged with anything. So clearly, Christina still is one of the most classy of the former Disney starlets.

  • lulu

    It’s all in the voice! And I love the Beautiful video. She’s a pretty strong advocate for womens’ issues (maybe not so much lately…).

    Read some rumors people want her to go to rehab. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea (no shame in going to rehab). She could take a breather, pull herself together, and get her life back under control.

  • JP

    Terrible singing, public scrutiny on a large scale, substance abuse related run ins with the law??? She’s a shaved head away from pulling off one helluva Brittany Spears impression lol

  • Sam

    Guess it’s Xtina’s turn to go through the public meltown cycle ala Mariah, Whitney, Britney…but all three were able to recover and make musical comebacks. I have no doubt that Christina can get her act together and make a full forced comeback. She’s still young and could use some time off to recover and get her personal life together. Once she does that she can focus on her career comeback.

    • DJ Wood

      Mariah and Britney pulled through. But, um, have you heard Whitney sing these days? It’s so sad.

  • Rolo Tomasi

    Great singer. That arrest was B/S, not a big deal.

  • sizzling lips

    I love the line you wrote that is from Annie Barrett. That was a cute line. Annie comes up with some neat writing ideas. Glad she’s writing for American Idol.

    • vote

      Speaking of Annie and American Idol-just a reminder, the voting for the guys is tonight. I just found out that the show is tonight. and tomorrow and thurs so vote good.

  • Tameka Walker

    I hope you can find your way and land on your feet. Good Luck christina

  • Mr Eko

    When did Xtina get so fat and bloated looking.

    • LOL

      Once she dropped the kid, it was all over. She hit the way and ain’t ever coming back.

    • Kaiulani

      It’s from the booze.

    • etm

      She was listed as 5″2′ and 100lbs. 100 lbs my a$$!!

  • SXiPPY

    Oh no Sista, a Britney you are not, so you better get up and act like a lady again, because we know Mama didn’t raise no fool and you, girl, are not trailer trash who can’t sing. Persevere!

  • Birdman73

    I hate how the media is blowing this out of proportion .,.. that she was “arrested” or “”jailed”. She was detained becasue she was too blitzed to take care of herself. All reports say she was polite and cooperatvie … she just had to dry out a bit. Come everyone … admit it … you got that drunk once before … friend’s wedding? bachelor party? birthday milestone? frat party? The only thing she did was choose a jackass as a DD who got pulled over for DUI and didn;t have a good friend to take her home, hold her hair while she worshipps the porcelain god, and someone to make sure she takes three advil and drinks a lot of water before bed. Otherwise, this is just the story of a 30 year old who got blitzed.

    • Kat

      I completely agree.

    • nat

      Exactly!!

      • Jamie

        I agree. I wish there more people like you birdman73.

  • Allison

    I wish Christina the best – I’ve loved a good majority of her songs, which isn’t the case with a lot of singers (ones I really want to like, because they have a great voice, but I just don’t enjoy the songs they sing). I think she’s just having a rough patch and will pull through.

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