Which Chelsea Handler stories should be turned into episodes of 'Vodka'?

Chelsea-HandlerImage Credit: Brandon Hickman/E!Just one thing concerns me about the upcoming NBC series based on Chelsea Handler’s best book to date, 2008’s Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea: I’m worried that the focus group-approved Chelsea will turn out to be a perky, hysterical, and rom-com-y character, instead of the awesomely mean, promiscuous, and lazy Handler we get from the books. I remain cautiously optimistic, though, since Handler will executive produce the show — and because her books are so freaking funny. So, as a Handler fan, I give you a few deliciously mean and hysterical chapters from Vodka that I really, really hope the show covers:

“Prison Break”: It’s unfortunate that the show won’t be on HBO, because this story is like the female version of a cross between The Wire and Oz. Due to her belligerence and a big misunderstanding, Chelsea spends the night with some rough characters at a women’s correctional facility. I have no idea how NBC would base an episode on this not-suitable-for-primetime story, but I hope they try. I will never think of ham and cheese sandwiches, hammers, Smurfette, or Game Boys the same way ever again.

“Big Red”: I hope they turn this story into a two-parter — it’s so rich. There’s potential for an A-, B-, and C-plot here: Chelsea attempts to overcome her own prejudices by dating a Ginger; in the meantime, she kidnaps a goldfish and two-times the Ginger with a B-list actor who lives in her building. It’d be funny (but disturbing) if they cast Carrot Top — or Brad Wollack — for the titular role.

“Re-Gift”: This isn’t as laugh-out-loud funny as other stories in the book, but it’s a work of art. It’s full of Seinfeld-ian misanthropy, and so many different threads and characters converge to create the perfect comedic tableau. Handler’s long-winded pal Aubrey is such a crazy, complex character. I imagine Judy Greer playing her well.

PopWatchers, which of Chelsea’s stories–and let’s open the pool to all three of her books–would you want to see as episodes of the new series? And how can NBC make them good?

Read more:
NBC develops Chelsea Handler’s ‘Are You There, Vodka’ book for possible series
Chelsea Handler talks ‘Are You There, Vodka?’

Comments (15 total) Add your comment
  • Nan

    LOVE Chelsea Handler. I wasn’t aware of this new show, but I agree, it would be better served on HBO. They HAVE to do the ‘Prison Break’ story though. That one killed me!

  • Crazy Soap Lady

    I love Chelsea and Vodka (the book), but I don’t know how NBC is going to do either justice. I have high hopes though.

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  • mia

    Why is NBC taking this? This show could be awesome…can’t wait. I really think she is so funny. They better not make her rom-comy! Is this slated for the fall?

  • Melanie

    I was reading “Vodka” on an airplane where I had luckily been bumped up to first class and was on the “Prison Break” chapter. I was trying so hard to not burst out laughing that I began to cry! I got some very strange looks from the other passengers! That said, they should definitely include Chelsea’s trip to Mexico where her sisters find her the next morning with a “nugget” in her room. I would also very much like to see the boat ride to Catalina with the gyno/ecstasy. It’s really a shame it’s on NBC!

    • Eva

      OMG I forgot about the gyno/ecstasy story!!! Love it!

  • Sarah

    Dim-Sun and Then Some…hilarious.

  • Eva

    Dear God please please please the cruise story from My Horizontal Life, as well as the bit about her pretending to be her twin when she ends up being a guy she banged’s waitress.

  • Blake

    I’m not trying to start up a fight or anything like that, but does anyone else think Chelsea handler just isn’t all that funny? I watch her show and I rarely laugh, and she seems to stick to the same basic formula. Her comedy panels seem to be just made up of people who worship everything she says, they’re more just admirerers. Maybe I’ll read her book because i do want to like her, I just feel like she’s a little over the top and I think there are a lot funnier people out there

    • Erin

      You should definitely read her books. They are one of the few that I actually laugh out loud (besides david sedaris!). I don’t find her show funny at all either, and wasn’t a fan of hers until I read the books!

  • Fingerlakes Dave

    I can take or leave Chelsea. That being said, I can’t see NBC having the brass to do any show based on her writing’s correctly.

  • crazycrow76

    Oh Oh . . The one where she convinces Ted the dog at the party they were at the night before has died and they have to go to the funeral. This is rich complete with Chelsea pretending to cry in Ted’s arms as he comforts her .. .

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