Charlie Sheen's worldview brought to visual life

charlie-sheen-fistsImage Credit: Jef Castro

All day, I’d been having trouble visualizing Charlie Sheen’s unique interpretation of reality, in which he is a “Vatican assassin warlock” with fire-breathing fists, standing in an octagon and preparing to fight against some kind of maggot/earthworm/clown hybrid that would not be able to handle his power and truth. I need pictures, people, else I cannot see! Luckily, EW.com’s very own imaging wizard assassin was on hand to help me out.

You guys. Look at the Google image search results for “vatican assassin.” Look at them!

Read more:
Charlie Sheen slams Chuck Lorre in multiple rants
Inside TV Podcast: Has Charlie Sheen killed ‘Men’?
All Inside TV posts about Charlie Sheen

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

Comments (19 total) Add your comment
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  • elizs

    this wins the internet today.

    • House of Wax Remake

      i don’t get it

      charlie sheen rules tho

      • Edmonton Girl

        Rules what, exactly? The man is a mess and I don’t want to see or hear anything more about him.

  • Remy

    Total win.

  • Allen

    haha!! My friend and I have developed a whole octagon mythology now involving paying ho and blow taxes to the head octagon master and ninja llamas. It’s very rich source material.

  • Javadude54

    Thanks for the look inside Charlie’s drug addled mind.

  • Allen

    This is totally awesome, Annie!!

  • Carol

    You know Annie, the fact that you typed vatican assassin on google images, amazes me.

  • Jam

    Very interesting pictorial..just saw Charlie on the Actor’s Studio from a couple of years ago and it was really interesting – even admitting he doesn’t lavish like he use to – thing is we all have a relationship here with Charlie – some cut him some slcack still and some are done with him…I’m in the category of that joke isn’t funny anymore …he got away with so much because his real life mirrored his 2 1/2 Men character -(though it was a 28 minute fantasy world)but he has now taken things to epic proportions – only die hard waistoids are still in his corner ..I’m worried bout him but yet feel eh bout him because if thinks he can continue like this without consequences then Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin & Keith Moon would still be alive

  • Mike Luoma

    Hey guys – if you like science fiction adventure, I hope you’ll check out my books. Charlie seems to like ‘em!

    • Katja

      LOL that’s fantastic that you already have books out with this title. They sound interesting!

  • cal

    Great job, but you need a big pointy hat. No vatican assassin warlock would be without one.

  • JH

    :) I heart you Annie. This rules.

  • squeegy

    Hey! That’s the king of Spain on the second row!

  • Apos

    Awesome depiction of America’s premier coke-snorting,porn star-banging Vatican warlock assasin!

  • SlackerSlayer

    I am surprised nobody has brought up the past words that started all of the attacks on Charlie Sheen. When the media is attacking one man so constantly and evenly you can bet the farm there is a ‘hollywood wacker’ tone about these ‘flooded’ media attacks. So he said the 9 11 attacks were an inside job, who does it harm to speak up for truth and justice, the crook(s) is who gets harmed. When you look to who is the most likely involved in those false flag attacks of September 11th 2001,you can easily recognize the media stepping in to carry the crooks opinions of the truth teller(s). So the crooks next move is harming that voice of reason. It is their first and last resort because actually speaking it through to a logical conclusion for their side is a no win from all angles and they know that.

    Just step back and look who it is instigating these attacks against Sheen, and try and make that one connection that motivates them all to work in tandem for Sheens silence. It certainly is not because drugs are illegal, and it certainly is not for the life of another, those are up front lies of pretenders if they claim that motivation of concern and care, they can care less about other peoples lives.

    So the audience is being fed “vanity cards” plastrered where? On the back end credits of the television show? Who put them up there and he expects nothing in return for these opportunities to throw punches at an employee and get away with it without some form of retaliation? That mind that places “vanity cards” up like that seems to a self absorbed self important parasite. We will never see an appology from THAT one.

  • Pelegrim

    Sheen is out there, but he totally knows what he is doing. He is planning all of this with a group of close friends and associates. Winning.

    • Sanja

      I just read an article that Comedy Central will be doing a roast of Charlie Sheen with a full cast. It will air on September 19 @ 10PM. I don’t know if Jeff Ross will be there but he’s been at most of Comedy Central’s rastos so I wouldn’t be surprised. This is just a little taste of what Charlie Sheen will be getting.

  • paulsmithuk

    Interesting post and view, hope to hear more what the future holds THANKS Great post. Probably saved thousands of hours between everybody here. For me,this clearly is a heads up on which methods to focus on to maximise my online success . IˇŻll start concentrating on your other articles instead. Really great advice. Thanks for sharing.

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