Yesterday was a good day: We whipped up some guac, plugged in our new flat screens, invited over a few buddies, and adjusted our chair settings to max recline. The only thing that could’ve made this Super Bowl Sunday any better? If we had been lucky enough to witness that Packers-Steelers battle in person. Paul Scheer — star of FX’s fantasy football comedy The League — made the trek to Dallas, and was kind/lucid enough to share his Super Bowl diary with EW.
2:30 p.m CT. Go to local cheese shop and get my head sized for an appropriate cheesehead.
3:07 p.m. Boarded our transport. I’m pretty sure everyone on this bus would not only fail the breathalzyer test but might actually break it. I’m guessing we have a combined blood alcohol level of 80.00.
3:33 p.m. Sitting in standstill traffic. Thinking of just getting out here and watching the game at a local Dallas tanning salon.
4:00 p.m. Parked. People say that these parking lots are overpriced but they are only asking for a couple hundred bucks or your firstborn. We went with firstborn.
5:00 p.m. We enter the stadium. We are each given a corporate logo to wear in case we are shown on TV.
5:15 p.m. Watching the team preview. I realize not only is Sam Elliott the only guy who can make a moustache look cool, but he can also narrate anything and it would be interesting. He should get a job on C-SPAN.
5:19 p.m. Heard a rumor that Lea Michele is going to rip off her mask and reveal she’s been Tupac all along…. Doesn’t happen. Bummed.
5:20 p.m. George W. Bush gets huge applause. Don’t know why. Then remember “Oh yeah, we are in Texas.”
5:44 p.m. Super Bowl has begun, but I find myself missing watching the Super Bowl commercials. So I just start acting out sexy GoDaddy fan-fiction commercials. My section doesn’t like it.
6:00 p.m. TOUCHDOWN! (Otherwise known as time to pee!)
6:07 p.m. People start applauding me at the urinal. I later realize Green Bay intercepted and scored again. I’m a little disappointed. I thought they were excited for me.
6:23 p.m. Steelers score and I finish something called a COWBOY-A-GRITA, which I don’t think is a historically accurate drink.
7:00 p.m. Really regret making my cheesehead out of brie. It’s stinking up my section.
7:12 p.m. The stadium gets special glow stick training so we don’t mess up the halftime show. The pressure is on! We can’t let down Taboo and the rest of the Peas!
7:30 p.m. Halftime! Or as I like to call it TRON 3 with Slash.
7:45 p.m. Time to buy an Ugly Superbowl shirt that I’ll only wear once.
7:59 p.m. Starting to think if Zombo started a church, I would attend. He’s a God!
8:20 p.m. Just ate a Frito Pie. My cholesterol triples in five minutes.
8:33 p.m. Phone dies. Can’t follow all my friends making Roethlisberger jokes on Twitter.
8:50 p.m. Game is over. Green Bay wins. Security, however, doesn’t let me stay to watch Glee on their 100-foot screen. Weird.
9:10 p.m. Leaving the stadium feels and looks like a zombie movie, but it smells like a brewery.
9:19 p.m. Board bus home. Lose three straight games of Hangman. Spelling is hard.
What do you say, PopWatchers? Was your day as exciting as Scheer’s? Feel free to share your diary below.
Noon: Wake up. First cup of Coffee.
Hubby has already made his own breakfast.
1pm Relax. Watch Super Bowl pregame coverage on TV.
no Stadium traffic. Been there done that.
First born is out of the house, so have nothing to offer for parking anyway.
4 pm: Make homemade flour tortillas and marinate chicken and beef for fajitas.
5pm: Hubby starts grill. I cook up fresh tortillas and caramelize smoky onions.
Stop what I am doing to watch “America the Beautiful” being sung. See a glimpse of Former President Bush and First Lady. I applaud too. Yeah. We love our W and Laura here in Texas. (Smile)
Back to the kitchen. Should have started dinner earlier. Oh Well.
Can hear the National Anthem being butchered by Aguilera. Ears begin to bleed.
Hubby pauses Televison on a commercial so I don’t miss any of the real fun, then starts up a blender of margaritas.
6pm. Watching game on a 52″ screen in HD. Sitting in a large recliner munching on homemade fajitas and sipping margaritas.
No long hike to bathrooms. No lines.
Half time: “Mr Remote control” finds the History Channel more entertaining.
Game back on. Yelling ensues. Dog is shaking- seeks refuge outside.
Warm brownies anyone?
Green Bay wins. Yea!
Award Ceremony …yada yada yada.
10 pm: Still relaxing in recliner while watching the TV anchors looking miserable out in that cold rain.
Feeling very smug. Love that I am too old to care about being part of the “action”.
God. I love Super Bowl Sunday!
Went to the gym, watched some Community (my husband is new to it), turned on the Puppy Bowl, watched it straight through the Kitty Halftime Show, then muted it but left it on while we watched more Community, I made dinner, we put on the Super Bowl at about 6:45 to see how it was going, then watched “State Fair” instead, checked back in with the game briefly, did other stuff, and finally watched the last few minutes of the game. Watched another couple Communitys until the husband went to bed and I watched Glee, which was actually pretty decent for Glee. Pretty good day.
Sounds like a pretty boring day.
As a Texan stuck on the East Coast, I have to say that whatever the hell is in that photo is NOT a proper frito pie. What, did you get the vegetarian version or something? And is that NACHO cheese? Gross.
I live in Houston I second your complaint. I dont know what that is but it is no Frito Pie. Where is the Frito bag doubling as a bowl? Where is the real chili? Having eaten at Texans games I recognize this as a nasty Aramark creation designed to only appease the appetites of 8 year old boys or those seeking heart disease.
Ha! I know, right? Even the Dallas Airport does it better than that!
I am disappointed he didn’t mention what Christina’s anthem sounded like in the stadium (her voice can fill many a stadium..) and what people’s reactions were to the line flub, or if there were any reactions at all.