When The Bachelor returns to ABC Jan. 3, a chastened Brad Womack — a.k.a. the guy who dared to defy the rules of the reality TV universe by not proposing to either of the women lovingly hand-selected for him by television producers — will embark upon a serious, introspective, soul-baring journey toward lifelong love, again with women carefully hand-selected for him by television producers. (See, you can tell how chastened he is by his intense look in this photo of him clutching the rose. Doesn’t he look like he’s going to bite someone?) And it seems, judging from the network’s just-released press release teasing the first episode, that the proceedings will be off to a great start toward that high-minded end: First, Womack (“a changed man”) will be ambushed — ahem, confronted — by DeAnna Pappas and Jenni Croft, the ladies he jilted at the vaunted Platform of Soon-to-Be-Broken Engagements. Because, of course, it’s important to his emotional health … and … stuff. Not because that’ll make good TV and because this is really about him making amends to the 18- to 49-year-old females who watch The Bachelor. My guess is DeAnna and Jenni are pretty over not marrying a guy who didn’t want to marry them; it’s the fans who still need closure.
To that end, we’ll also get the allegedly genuine slap from the allegedly irate first woman out of the limo that we’ve seen in all the promos. Then Womack — who, we are reassured, has “undergone a radical personal transformation which he feels sure has readied him to make a genuine commitment to a relationship,” as if anyone who resists the foolproof process of The Bachelor has issues requiring intensive therapy — will choose from the likes of “a fun-loving nanny [who] playfully grabs his rear end,” “a dancer from a famed troupe [who] tries to teach Brad a few dance moves,” and “a mysterious model [who] literally shows him her fangs.” Yes. Brad was definitely the problem last time around. Thank goodness he’s finally ready to submit himself to this important “journey.”
Other significant stops on his vision quest for love this season will include: a bachelorette makeover, performances by Train and Seal, an appearance on Dr. Drew’s Loveline (how has he not gotten involved with this show until now?), a NASCAR date, a trip to Cirque du Soleil’s “Viva Elvis” show to learn aerial ballet routines, and a final jaunt to South Africa. You know, all the necessary milestones in a journey towards serious commitment and deep emotional connection.
So, PopWatchers, are you convinced? Is Womack “ready” to “find” “love” “again”?
Reality Steve already has the spoilers up…
Does anyone really care?
Run, Brad, run! You were so smart to walk away as you did the first time. I am not sure why you came back. Oh, that’s right, a hefty paycheck and opportunity for some self-promotion. (Silly me!)
Um…Brad and DeAnna already talked face to face. It was on that Bachelor/Bachelorette special they had last spring. DeAnna told him she understood why he did it and wished she had done the same thing, so there’s not tension/drama to be had there.
Heh. The contempt in this article for the Bachelor franchise is fantastic.
This might be the best article about the franchise I’ve ever read. I can’t believe there have been so many seasons of this show.
Yay!!! More fodder for Joel McHale on The Soup
Don’t try and find any women within 400 miles of where he lives.The producers think he would rather travel 1000′s of miles for a long distance relationship.Bring in some women from Maine and Alaska!
Never held it against him for not proposing, but will not watch because he was so boring the first time.
Can’t wait for the new season and for Brad. Liked him last time and agreed with his decision. Don’t know why people won’t accept he didn’t fall in love unlike those who proposed and then broke up weeks later. It’s going to be a great season!
This should be really interesting, I can’t wait!
Can someone explain that horrifying picture to me please?
I envision a scene where they’re taking these promotional pictures, leaving Brad (I seriously just typed “Jake” at first…whoops) time to ponder his life decisions. He grows more and more uneasy with every flash of the camera, until finally he comes to an abrupt realization. “I was totally right to defy the rules of reality love competitions and leave all this crap behind me – what am I doing??” He opens his mouth to announce his intention to withdraw from this sleazefest once and for all, his self-disgust evident in his eyes, and BAM! the camera flashes for the last time. The Bachelor producers have seen Brad’s dawning horror and they end the shoot, even though their best picture is that one where his mouth is open to talk. Brad’s Bachelor handlers appear out of nowhere, throw a coat over him, whisk him out to a car, and shuttle him off to the STD incubator that is his Bachelor home. Before he processes what has just happened, Brad is already on his way. He hangs his head in despair as his mind tortures him with the same phrase over and over: “IT’S TOO LATE NOW, SUCKER.”
I AM LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW!!!
Let’s find out the name and address of the face slapper and bomb her house with junk mail! She needs revenge served on her!
Just from the previews, I take great offense to that woman slapping Brad and saying, “This is from every woman in America.” Speak for yourself, lady.
I hated the way that Brad’s first season ended, but better that he didn’t propose to anyone and then break up with then. He couldn’t make himself feel what he didn’t feel. As messed up as he may have been (or still is), he did the right thing in the end.
Sounds like we’ll finally get to see that “Most Shocking Rose Ceremony in Bachelor History” that Chris Hansen has been promising for 42 seasons. I’m so ready for this “journey” and spending “quailty time” in front of my television.
I quit watching this stupid show after the first time this d bag was on it.
gigi-you are too funny!