Here come the Christmas commercials: Bah, humbug

I’d like to take this time to tell my wife that she will not be receiving a Lexus or a diamond for Christmas. To be fair, I don’t suspect she was holding her breath about either gift. But since today represents the official beginning of the holiday shopping stampede, I know that we will all be assaulted by television commercials that seem cruelly crafted to shame those of us who haven’t parked their holiday gifts in the driveway or around their lovely’s neck. I put up with these two doozies every stinkin’ year:

Question: Do you think there actually are guys out there who are so enamored by Lexus’ ad that they not only splurge on the latest model, but they put that ridiculous ginormous ribbon on the roof of the car? And do their neighbors hate them as much as I do?

Just so you don’t think that I’m a total heartless scrooge, let me share the one television commercial that never fails to make my family room dusty.

Merry Christmas, sweetheart. Unwrap your two cans of Folgers. Again.

What holiday commercials get under your skin? Are there others you look forward to every year?

Comments (283 total) Add your comment
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  • marilinda

    OMG, that Folgers commercial cracks me up every year.

    Does anyone else remember a Christmas commerical where the little boy is singing O Holy Night and all of a sudden his giant older brother who has been away comes in an totally bellows him out of the water. I can see it in my head. He’s reminiscent to Folgers Peter…. anyone?

    • Fresh

      That’s the one I always remember, too! I think it’s a Hallmark commercial…..

    • Riley

      If you look up 1990’s Hallmark Commercial on youtube, you can watch it – it is awesomely cheesy.

  • Jimmy

    Lexus is boring, get yourself a Ford Mustang! Gaz Guzzlers, baby! YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

    • Kristen

      New ‘Stangs get 31 mpg and have plenty of muscle. Don’t have to be a girlie man to save the planet!

      • Jimmy

        Actually, that was a joyous/festive/drunken comment, seeing as it’s the holidays and all. The car a man drives in no way makes him a “girlie man” or whatever. But if you want to get technical, the original 1964 mustang is so much more beautiful and much more of a thrill to drive. They are also much much more expensive though :D

      • vodkahead

        Bah, the new ones look like electric shavers anyway. I only have eyes for the original 1964 model.

      • ps in seattle

        I’m with you, vodkahead! I think the original ponies are the only true Mustangs, and they can still make my heart skip a beat. That’s why I have a gorgeous little ’65 parked in my garage. ;)

      • Erin

        Don’t know about that Jimmy. My first car was a ’65 Mustang. I drive an ’06 now. While the ’65 turns heads, the ’06 is far more fun to drive. Speed, steering and most importantly BRAKING are far better in the ’06 making it an absolute joy to drive. (of course, I still own the ’65 which I cruise in, it’s simply not an every day car)

    • Kirk

      Heck with that, go for a Jeep Grand Cherokee. WooHoo!

    • evoc

      Actually, I have always hated the ‘Peter comes home’ commercial…sappy silly.

      • Chris

        I, on the other hand, have always really loved this and most all christmas commercials. Im a sucker for sappy/silly around christmas!

  • LOL

    The only Christmas commercial that I can stomach each year is the Budweiser spot where the horses are making their way through a snowy neighborhood. The music is calm and the commercial is understated.

    • StLDeb

      I love that Budweiser commercial – before the InBev sale, you could find it on the Clydesdale’s portion of the site. I actually called AB a few years ago and they told me it was filmed in 1973 in Vermont (I think) and they just barely got it done, because the next day it was in the 60s and all the snow melted. It’s just not the holidays till I see that commercial.

  • Thoalex

    If I see that %@#$ Cuervo commercial with that f-ing tree this year……

    • KD

      Right???

  • S

    Holiday jewelry commercials are the worst! Proposing over Christmas? Yeah, that’s original!

    • Liz

      NO NO the worst, the absolute worst Christmas commercials ever were the Gap song and dance commercials that ran 5-10 years ago. I would literally cringe when the opening chords of that “music” came on. Uh grossss

      • CrapMister

        I liked those!

      • Shelby Coman

        I hated those commercials as well, but the mannequins today are much worse.

      • Maddie

        “Hey there Katie, what’s up? It must be great having 14 cousins. Except for this time of year, that sure is a whole lot of presents. Check out new performance fleece! (Only at Old Navy) It all sizes, colors, and styles! Zip hoodies, bomber jackets, and pullovers… and by the way your mom says hi!”

        I love that commercial (obviously since I still have it memorized years later lol)

    • Anne

      Original? No. Sweet and romantic? Definitely.

    • Ali

      What about the jewelry commercial with the “sexy” santa who starts making out with the giftee in front of the fire?

  • betty

    Please make the creepy Target lady go away.

    • Kaiulani

      Agree! She freaks me out.

      • fiveagainstone

        Thank you! I thought I was the only one that finds the Target lady/Jerri Blank lookalike creepy. What was Target thinking? This is enought make me want to boycott Target.

      • fiveagainstone

        What I meant to say was “This is enough to make me want to boycott Target.”

      • Don

        I’ve been boycotting Target since May… I’ll never shop there again.

      • Jim

        Amen!!!!

      • Elaine Bennes

        If I wasn’t boycotting Target before I would start now

      • cla

        HATE that Target lady. She’s like nails on a chalkboard.

      • Bizz

        I thought she looked like Jerri Blank too!!

        Those Target ones are so off the mark. I’m not religious but all these commercials don’t reflect now are such a turn off for shopping for me.

      • Jen

        agreed! Who exactly is she supposed to be targeting?

      • Kiki

        I do not see what is so funny about her. She makes me shudder every time.

      • Rock

        Sid Caesar had it right when he said, viewers don’t have any patience; adding that the remote has become a very useful tool. When this retard looking, corny silly broad doing the target commercial comes on, I put my remote to work right away.

    • Mckenzie

      That is comedienne Maria Bamford…it really is freaky. Glad when the these commercials will be over.

      • Hank

        No. That’s Kristen Wiig’s character from SNL. Although, I agree that I don’t like them either.

      • henrietta

        Wow, I am really in the minority!!! Absolutely love this woman, whoever she is…maybe i’ll hate her next year.

      • L

        No, Hank, Mckenzie is correct. Like Target is dumb enough to use an SNL character.

    • MamaAnarchia

      Maria Bamford is hilarious and all kinds of awesome. Check out her standup routines , top stuff.

      • JokeyLemon

        Well, she must have sold out because those commercial make her look like a certified nutjob…nice way to be portrayed. I will not see her standup after accepting a job like that, she must have no standards for herself, what a whore.

    • ks

      I know she is very annoying

    • MelindaB

      Oh, I know–I was hoping that the end of Black Friday would be the end of those commercials. No such luck.

    • Kate

      Oh – I so agree – those Target ads actually turned me AWAY from Target this year.

    • LightenUpTargetLadyHaters

      You guys are the crazy ones. Those Target lady commercials are hysterical. I wish all ads made me laugh like those ones. If you don’t like them, shop at Walmart (because their commercials are, wait, did they even make commercials for Black Friday this year?)

      • stephann

        I think they’re funny too!

      • Kaitlyn

        I LOVE the Target Lady. I especially like the commercial when she makes recordings on the holiday cards! Even if I hadn’t liked her before I would after that particular commercial. Merry Christmas to all!! And may the peace of the season make each of you smile and take the hate from your hearts (if any is there!).

      • Jenn

        Thank you lord. We love Target Lady, we were imitating her at 5 a.m. in the middle of Walmart yesterday. Hilarious.

    • Remerdre

      Amen. She creeps me out as much as the Burger King costumed guy.

      • Kaitlyn

        I have to agree with Remerdre about the Burger King dude! Now that’s creepy!

      • amj

        Yes the Burger King is creepy! My husband and I are always talking about how creepy he is. We haven’t eaten at Burger King since the first King commercial! Who wants the King staring at you in your sleep? Just down right creepy!

    • jacomo1025

      Wow. That woman makes my skin crawl. Seeing her running in that too-tight outfit with heels… Ick. Target needs to fire the ad agency that came up with that one.

      • 1955

        I agree with you totally!!! The Target ads are repulsive

      • Karen1017

        The Target Lady is NOT funny and reminds me of mentally ill bi-polar person in the throes of a manic episode…”I haven’t slept in days…” she says with eyes wide open…I think it shows a total lack of sensitivity on Target’s part…these ads would never motivate me to shop there. I find them utterly disgusting! I intend to personally boycott Target.

    • jules

      Oh my Gawd, that hag!! I hate that crazy beeyatch!!

    • miss k

      OMG SHE MAKES ME WANT TO SHOOT SOMETHING!!!!!!

    • donna

      omg she is terrifying

    • bouionice

      Totally! They were annoying last year, but this year they’re way worse. I absolutely can’t stand her. The chracter is completely insane.

  • Star Collector

    What about the pillsbury commercials with the folks that click their heels three times, or showing the little kids using icing and cookie decorations on the clean, pristine counter in their best clothing?

    • 1955

      The Pillsbury ads are annoying – luckily I have not seen one this season

  • Louise

    Those Kay Jewelers commercials make me stabby.

    • Lisa

      I hate those the most. In our house, we cringe everytime we hear “every kiss begins with Kay.” Are they the ones with that idiotic couple in the cabin when the woman jumps BEFORE the thunder and lightening and the creepy guy says “don’t worry, I’ll never let you go”? Great, bad acting and a possible stalker. Anyway, who the heck wants mass produced cheap & tacky jewelry for Christmas? I’m not going to be excited over the past/present/future trio, the graduated sizes to represent our journey, the infinity, or any of those other ridiculous designs presented in stupid teddy bears/”keepsake” boxes/or whatever stupid delivery system they come up with.

  • Chris

    The Target lady makes my skin crawl; so incredibly creepy and annoying. Dear Target Marketing Department…EPIC FAIL!

    • jezoebel

      Oh. My. God. Who at Target decided that an overcaffinated Amy Sedaris lookalike was the perfect spokeslady? Humbug!

      • oc

        I’m do annoyed with these ads I may stop shopping at Target unless they do away with them

      • jinglebells

        The person that knew that even even if you hated it, you’d be talking about it…

      • Christmas lover

        The Target lady is ‘creeeeepie’ but why hurt myself and not shop there. How dumb!

    • ba hum-bug exterminator

      Seriously? Where in the world is your sense of humor? These commercials are the first (in a long time) to really make you laugh. They are silly, sure. But unique. And fun – they really stand out! In a good way! All xmas advertisements are so boring and predictable. High Five Target! Seriously. Love love love! All you nay sayers … do your shopping at Kmart or JcPenny, you are totally unworthy anyway.

      • fiveagainstone

        There’s a fine line between humor and creepy. Sounds like you need to lay off the eggnog.

      • Bob

        Really? Really? You’re a moron

      • Joan

        I LOVE the Target ads, especially last year’s.The comedienne’s rendition of a tightly wound, fashion-frenzied fanatical (and air-headed?) shopper is really funny. These ads are right up there with my other faves from years ago- the Mike’s Hard Lemonade ad with the killer whale and some other ad about a man interviewing for a job. After commenting that it’s not like the job “is brain surgery” he notes a jar with a brain on the interviewer’s desk and add’s, “Oh, it IS brain surgery!” Meanwhile, I do have the same aversion to cars-for-Christmas ads.

      • jules

        speak for yourself, exterminator. She does NOT make me laugh…she makes me cringe.

    • fuzzynormal

      Not a FAIL. You are talking about it. Not all commercials are made to be enjoyed, some are designed to be remembered.

      Is basic marketing too hard to understand?

      • ham

        exactly! And all the people who say “I’m going to boycott Target because of this commercial” are really petty and dumb. Commercials have nothing to do with the sales that Target may be running. Commercials have nothing to do with the items actually being sold at Target. So dumb to avoid a store because of a commercial.

      • yeti

        Exactly ham! Can you image being with a group of friends who want to go shopping? “Hey, I need to swing by Target to pick up supplies.” “Oh no way! I’m not shopping at Target because I didn’t like their commercial.”

      • Rock

        You don’t get it.
        What people are doing is turning off these stupid commercials because of this silly, corny broad. Whatever she’s peddling gets lost in the process because of her. People will be shopping at Target but not because of her. THOSE promos are a total waste.

  • Ap

    Love the old school Hershey kisses commercial to the tune of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas Christmas.”
    I can also deal with the Hess truck commercials.

    And for those in the NYC area, I miss the “Giving beats everything and nobody beats The Wiz.”

    • jinglebells

      I love the hershey kiss commercials! They’re the best.

      • Elizabeth

        I like those too.

    • yo

      Agree with the Kisses and Hess truck commercials. I also liked the Campbell commercial of the snowman. Pretty old but nice.

      • Courtney Love

        That Campbells soup commercial is pure perfection! I’ve also always loved the Hershey kisses one where they jingle to “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” like bells..simple, but memorable.

    • Jenn

      this is the commercial that makes me feel like Christmas is here! Love it…

    • Shannon

      I LOVE this commercial!! I saw it the other night and just stopped what ever I was doing and watched. It’s a simple and effective holiday comercial.

  • JC

    Christmas commercials are the best! Some are tacky, sure but the rest bring in the spirit of the holidays!

    I love the “Fruit of the Loom” one to the tune of “god rest ye merry gentlemen” and the M&Ms one where they run into Santa.

    • Patti

      YES! Santa and the M&Ms!!!!

      • vanessnake

        Gawd, it’s time for those M&Ms to retire!!!!

  • michael

    I hate the new Highlander commericial. It’s not a holiday commerical but it plays on the idea that if you don’t have the item, you must be lame. If fails to account for the millions of people who can’t afford to buy or lease one.

    I don’t mind commericials that try to make you want something. I loathe ads that try to make be feel bad because I don’t.

    • Mckenzie

      I want to smack that little kid who is calling adults lame. Cut your hair and learn some respect. I will never drive a Highlander so I do not look like a parent who cannot control their snotty kids.

      • Marie

        yes – dear lord that’s what’s wrong in society … kids who berate their parents and get away with it. Uh, yeah. NOT the best way to sell a car! Very annoying.

      • Mcfly

        Yeah that little brat deserves a smack across the face. They’re not cool because they are too busy raising your ungrateful butt to know what’s cool. Besides, don’t kids start thinking their parents are when they become teenager and this smart a$$ looks about 7 or 8.

    • erin

      Totally agree!

    • ks

      Thanks I hate this little snot-hey when you get the money and start paying the bills, then you can give me your imput. Highlanders are a nightmare to work on anyway.

    • Hobbes

      Thank you, thank you. I can’t stand these commercials. There aren’t enough kids out there with entitlement issues and and “me, me, me,” attitudes. We have to teach that if your parents don’t have a certain kind of vehicle, then they are lame and don’t treat you well? It’s really awful.

    • Dee

      I agree and would like to add that I also hated those car commercials that used to run (can’t remember the model) that made you feel bad if you didn’t have one because they were sooo safe and your clunker was a death trap. They showed a cute little kid nice and safe in her super safe back seat. The only catch…the car was 40k!So we are bad parents if we can’t afford your $40,000 car? GMAB

      • PJW

        Dang people, these are COMMERCIALS! Filler during breaks in the show you are watching. If you are feeling bad because of a commercial or offended…you may have issues….lol. Merry Christmas!!!

  • LOL

    Any commercial that says you should buy a car for Christmas can go get f**ked.

    • yo

      That’s not as insulting a suggestion as you think it is.

  • Maureen

    I look forward to the Gap commercials each holiday season. I love how they always make them big song-and-dance numbers! :)

  • Joker’s Lady

    those xmas car and jewelry commercials?I feel they are tacky, I hate jewelry and I hate those new cars. I do like the hershey’s kiss xmas commercial, the m & m one, the folgers one, and they don’t play these anymore but one where santa is riding around in an electric shaver, the mcdonald land gang celebrating xmas, and as a 90s kid, the coca cola santa xmas trucks adorned in white lights passing thru america with the “santa claus is coming” jingle is one I knew as a kid that when it would air, the holidays were in full swing.

    • Commercial Christmas

      Santa on the shaver “Have a Noelco Christmas”…Norelco electric razors. The old commercials were so much less annoying, who can forget Speedy Alka-Seltzer taking care of the holiday over-eaters?

      • mrs mia wallace

        I love love love the old school santa on a shaver commercial. it toally reminds me of the 70’s.

      • Hemet Jeff

        That was the best Xmas commercial…there should be a TV show dedicated to the old commercials…I’d watch it!

      • jules

        :)

      • Dixie

        Off to search YouTube for vintage Christmas commercials! =D

    • Jay-Jay

      I’m glad someone remembers the floating heads and Noelco. That and Bing meant Yule season was here.

      • Al

        Yes: the start of the Christmas season for me was always when I saw Santa on the “Noelco”

    • JainaJade

      The Santa Claus commercial is my favorite. The coke bottle materializing in thin air for that boy who missed the trucks because he was ringing the bell…that might have resulted in some teary eyes

      • Mels

        Love this one too. Then again I love all the Coca-Cola commercials during Christmas

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