Conan won't be denied his Masturbating Bear -- even if it means a lawsuit

ConanImage Credit: Art Streiber/TBSConan O’Brien had some fightin’ words in his recent interview with Rolling Stone: “I won’t be denied my Masturbating Bear!” he says in the article, daring NBC to sue him, since the network still owns all his Late Night characters and bits. “What I really wanna do is be sued over the bear and then appear in court with the Masturbating Bear. ‘Your Honor, this bear can’t help himself!’”

A rep for NBC declined to comment on whether the network would pursue legal action against O’Brien should ursine onanism make an appearance on Conan’s upcoming TBS series.

As much fun as a good old-fashioned lawsuit is, I actually hope we never see the Masturbating Bear again. I think Conan O’Brien is superhumanly funny, and I think his writing staff over the years has given us some true moments of comedic bliss. And I think they can do it again. In better and different and new ways! There are so many woodland creatures who’ve never once masturbated on television; surely one of them could have a chance. New characters, new bits, new ratings — these are all good things.

What say you, PopWatch nation? Do you genuinely miss the Masturbating Bear?

Read more:
‘Conan’ announces first week of guests. Who are you most excited to see?
‘Live Conan Cam’: What will we see?
Conan O’Brien drives off a cliff in a car filled with explosives, popcorn
Conan O’Brien suds up for TBS promo

Comments (44 total) Add your comment
Page: 1 2
  • Brian

    Ursine Onanism was the name of my band in college.

    • Strawberry Sparkles

      I love you.

    • Mr. Holloway

      LOL!

  • LOL

    I’m with Coco! Can’t wait until Nov.8th.

  • Skip182

    that would be great. masturbating bear isn’t his funniest character, but a lawsuit would give him great material to work from.

    • LM

      Agreed. I’ve never really been a fan of the MB, but a lawsuit about the MB would be HILARIOUS.

    • AcaseofGeo

      What is a masturbating bear? How is that funny. So it masturbates…I’m not finding humor in that…???

    • mygreatkid

      NBC has already shown how stupid they are in the way they handled this whole situation so I’ve no doubt that they’ll continue down that path and at least threaten to sue Coco

    • Quirky

      I’m just picturing a court room sketch artist drawing up a picture of the masterbating bear on the witness stand.

  • Gleek

    Does the masturbating bear sing show tunes?

  • Bettlejuice

    WE WANT TRIUMPH!!!!!!!! THAT would be worth a lawsuit!!!

    • S.O.

      Triumph will be the MOST missed.

    • Al

      Triumph is ripped off from Ed the Sock anyway.

    • Alex

      Bring back Triumph. He needs his own show.

    • Skip182

      I don’t think Triumph is property of NBC, so that should be fine.

  • Mikky J

    Bring back the Gaseous Wiener!

  • gataroo

    Horny Manatee!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Isabel

      A+

  • WhiteCheetah

    C’mon… who DOESNT find it hilarious when that stupid song comes on and bear starts going at it? However, I agree with Bettlejuice… losing Triumph would be much more damaging

  • Jeanne

    Pimpbot man, it’s all about Pimpbot.

    • Marisa

      I agree, bitches!

    • Shannon

      Damn straight!

    • ericalina

      YES!!!

  • Vivi

    Conan is looking hella fine in that picture. *swoons* (Judge me not, minions!)

    • Shannon

      No judgement here.
      It was crush at first sight for me when he first premiered during my second year of grade school.
      Yes, I grew up with the masturbating bear, everbody.
      So, I would not like to see him go because he has sentimental value to me much like alphabet soup or Peewee Herman. (Thinks about that one for a moment)
      Now, does Conan need this self-addicted forest-dweller?
      No.
      But, a lawsuit involving him would be
      classic.
      I can just picture those coutroom artist renditions…

  • sarah d

    Yes, it is sexy when a man takes style tips from “There’s something about Mary”.

    • Shannon

      Well, this is, practically, a masturbation thread.
      Too far?
      Ok.

  • MCA

    Gleeeeeee!!!!!! What’s going on with Glee????

  • Jay

    *sigh* Gleetards…

  • John

    I think they used up the world’s supply of Photoshop in that picture. (Sheesh, Conan is ugly.)

    • CMU

      No way. I’ve always thought Conan was foxy. Even un-retouched.

  • Tim

    I love watching Conan’s shows and yet…I’ve never been a big fan of either the bear or Triumph. The bear gag has gotten old and I’ve just never cared much for insult comics like Triumph. Looking forward to seeing the new stuff that Coco & co. pull out next month!

Page: 1 2
Add your comment
The rules: Keep it clean, and stay on the subject - or we may delete your comment. If you see inappropriate language, e-mail us. An asterisk (*) indicates a required field.

When you click on the "Post Comment" button above to submit your comments, you are indicating your acceptance of and are agreeing to the Terms of Service. You can also read our Privacy Policy.

Latest Videos

Advertisement

From Our Partners

TV Recaps

Powered by WordPress.com VIP