Image Credit: VH1; BBCOh well! It’s not like she’s trying. Vh1′s new reality series Football Wives (debuting tonight at 10:30 ET) has nothing to do with the practically perfect-in-every-way British megadrama Footballers Wive$. I basically just thought this would be a perfect excuse to picture alpha-bitch Tanya Turner on PopWatch. Plus, after everything Amanda says during the premiere — “I have my own jewelry line.” “Leonard and I have a chain of restaurants called SmashBurger.” “Oh my God. Seriously? Who leaves Bible study?” — I like to imagine Tanya exhaling a sharp stream of cigarette smoke into Amanda’s face. Anyway.
If you catch tonight’s premiere, discuss the crazy in the comments! After the break, let’s meet Football Wives’ major players…
Amanda Davis, wife of Leonard, is like the mother hen of the group if hens sparkled and sprouted significant hair extensions. Loves bling, the hallway-spanning portrait of herself, and Jesus. Threw a MASSIVE eye roll right in front of Pilar after confirming that she and Leonard were building a house just down the street from Pilar.
Chanita Foster, wife of George, is new in town and ready stir up s— among this carefully cast “group.” It’s almost like she was recruited to Dallas instead of her husband, to play the starring role of Crazy on this show. Chanita attended Amanda’s three hours of Bible study like a good cast member “friend,” then decided to become very personally offended when Pilar and Melani left the gathering to attend “a movie premiere.” As soon as Chanita spoke up at lunch, it was like Pilar deigned to acknowledge her lowly buffoon-like existence for the first time. “Oh my gosh. Who is this girl?” asked Pilar. Chanita felt threatened. “I’m ’bout to turn into the other Chanita — Chanita from Detroit. I should politely go over to Pilar and punch her in the face.” Pilar had not done anything to Chanita directly! Clearly, the season will revolve around Chanita’s whims, and it’s so convenient that she has multiple personalities.
“Girl, you got real issues,” summed up Pilar.
Pilar Biggers, wife of Deion Sanders. You may know these two from Oxygen’s 2008 series Deion & Pilar: Prime Time Love! She and Deion run a football camp for kids, but he won’t let her walk on the field. At a KIDS’ CAMP. Pilar seems to just be along for the ride on this show, but she’s such a fiery mega-bitch that casting her was a no-brainer. I liked her football-inspired vocabulary at lunch, after Chanita groaned Pilar’s way during a conversation that had nothing to do with Chanita. “Let me break in and intercept that.”
Melani, wife of Rocket Ismali, who retired in 1992. She’s just hanging out, doing whatever Pilar says. Left her husband at Amanda’s Bible study, which is probably okay because he’s an inspirational speaker who speaks at churches.
Erin, wife of Australian import Mat McBriar, whose mom already has a “baby room” for them. Meh.
Dawn, wife of veteran tight end Ryan Neufeld. Works as a lawyer to help pay for their autistic son’s health care bills and it’s still not enough. They don’t know if he’ll even have a job next year.
Brittany, girlfriend of kicker David Buehler. Yeah, she works at Hooters. So what?
Will you give Football Wives a shot? Is it better than Basketball Wives? Are you going to do the right thing and immediately purchase Footballers Wive$ on DVD?
Annie, Thank you SO MUCH for mentioning Footballers Wive$!! One of the best guilty pleasures ever, not to mention that in my eyes Tanya Turner can do no wrong
Now, if you could only manage to work Gavin and Stacey into future posts… 
No one cares about this crap.
Annie you rock!!! I wish ABC would not have chickened out with their version of Footballer’s Wives because Tanya Turner was the Bomb Diggity of drama b*tchery!!!
Tanya Turner was one of the best super bi***es! right up there with Amanda Woodward & Alexis.
What Would Tanya Turner Do?
Can’t we just have Footballer$ Wives back instead of this? As there is no Queen B better than Tanya Turner.
Thank you for reminding me of Footballers Wive$ !! Loved that show…the other day, I was remembering the episode in which Krishna the pug sat on the baby’s face…devastation!
I’m not going to bother with the VH1 series. Not interested in watching those tacky cows.
ITV made Footballers’ Wives, not the BBC.
That tells me that I would love Footballers Wives, I generally like ITV shows.
Bad girls too.. you would love that and Mile High. and How to sleep with my best friends dad
I loved it every time Tanya said “Amber”… LOL
Amber
EM-BAH!
FOOTBALLERS WIVES IS THE BEST DRAMA OUT THERE!! WAY OUT THERE LIKE NIP/TUCK, GOSSIP GIRL, SKINS
Don’t forget PASSIONS..Love that show
Degrassi
That show was fetch
STOP TRYING TO MAKE FETCH HAPPENS.
I love all of you. All you wonderful Footballer’s Wive$ fans. You’re gorgeous.
Earls Park Sparks 4EVA!
*SIGH* I miss Tanya…she was the British version of Alexis Carrington IMO. Why did they ever take FW off the air???
Just watched this show on VH1. Its totally horrible. Don’t think it will last long. These girls are old & busted. Pilar is the 1 that will make the show. Would much rather watch NBA wives anyday!!
Didn’t I see Shaunie O’Neal’s name as a producer of this latest re-imagining of “shows about women who leave their self-respect at the door”?
I have to say when the title appeared on the Cable guide, my heart skipped a beat thinking my dream came true and the english remake of Footballers Wives finally made it on air. Nothing will EVER be as great as the original but I was still excited to see it.
The show is entertaining….most of the players are washed up. However I rally like Pilar…Chanita is WACK..She is fake, and who is her husb??? Anyway Amanda, uhhhhh NO! She is just another fake broad, who holds 3 hr bible study…I would ahve left too at some point. Mayb Pilar just should have not gone and Melani should ahve just left early…either way dont understand why Chanita was bad…Loved how Pilar handled her!