'Stupid' Johnny Knoxville calls Chelsea Handler 'Ma'am.' Love him.

Johnny Knoxville, high on Jackass 3D‘s boffo opening weekend, laced up his Chuck Taylors and made his way over to Chelsea Lately last night. Now this is the way you give good interview, folks. Handler opened by declaring him a f@#*ing idiot; he happily agreed. She congratulated him on his recent nuptials and new baby, the miracle child conceived despite his broken penis. I appreciate that he assumes his audience knows that it is hairspray that gives a potato gun its power. (I have no idea what he’s talking about.) But mostly, I like the sound of this man’s 14-year-old daughter Madison. Clearly her father’s daughter, the girl learned at a young age to give as good as she got. So if Jackass director Jeff Tremaine dares to douse her with a spray hose, then she will retaliate by getting another one of her father’s idiot friends to piss in the man’s beer. And something tells me this child is reading Jane Eyre or doing complicated math equations in her room while those jackasses snicker over Tom & Jerry reruns. My one pet peeve with this whole story is it began with Knoxville explaining that one day, when he was babysitting Madison… Daddies: You’re not babysitting when you’re watching your kid. You’re parenting.

Am I alone in harboring a terrific crush on Knoxville? Is that a Southern man for you or what? Instinctually calling a woman “ma’am” on one hand while talking about dildos being shot into his mouth on the other. And is it just me or is “ma’am” probably the least offensive thing Handler has ever been called?

Read more:
Jackass 3D sacrifices life and limb for $50 million
Johnny Knoxville’s mother on her danger-seeking son
Review: Jackass 3D

Comments (77 total) Add your comment
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  • Sally

    I am kinds crushin’ on Knoxville after that interview. The quote about “Daddies: You’re not babysitting when you’re watching your kid. You’re parenting.” is probably the the best quote about parenting that I’ve heard in a long time. I wish more parents had this point of view. Good for him!!!

    • Elizabeth

      Amen Karen & Sally… wish someone would clue my brother-in-law in ;)

    • Not Suffer Lightly

      Reading comprehension?

      That quote is a rebuttal to Knoxville’s statement that he was “babysitting” his daughter. Knoxville did not say that.

    • David Larry

      Hey doosh. You keep trolling around and whining about everything. Go for a walk or something.

    • blah

      its spelled douche.

    • James D

      Hey Larry, do you go on every board and comment to see how much you can rile up everyone? That’s called being a shut-in with no friends.

  • mary q contrary

    Thank you. My husband had the audacity to tell a friend of ours the other day that he babysat our three kids and “let” me go to the library. We had a long talk that evening about what the word babysitting actually means.

    • Nick

      glad i am not your ball busting hudband

    • Randy Jackson Random Comment Generator

      So it doesn’t mean sitting on babies? Damn! They’re so comfortable.

    • Seddie Forever!!!!!!!!!

      women like you are why more men do not want to get married, nag nag nag – they don’t want another mother to discipline them

  • dave

    Mary q contrary, you’re lucky he let you out of the kitchen

    • mary q contrary

      Dave, if you’re going to post a rebuttal specifically designed to rile people up and generate responses, at least have the sense to make it at least somewhat witty. This one was just plain uninspired.

    • Doremifah Solatido

      That’s right, Dave. far better would have been to point out what an obviously lucky guy Mary’s husband is, to have a spouse that’s so willing to sit down and impose a frank discussion on parenting. She’s obviously tons of fun and someone you would never cheat on with a $10 stripper.

      • mary q contrary

        Much better.

  • Xena

    I’ve always had a crush on JK, but lately he’s been resembling Christopher Lloyd — NOT very attractive!

    • LeonFisher420

      Hey! Christopher Lloyd is a good lookin dude. Hes got a grampa thing going on.

    • TCC

      he sounds like jake torrence from the shining

  • Josh

    I get the “ma’am” thing because I’m from the South too and do it all the time. But I’ve never understood why some women do what Handler did in that clip – act like he just punched her in the face. It really is a manners thing (like Ms. or Mrs.) and in no way a reference to age. Heck, I’ve called teenagers “ma’am” before.

    • DT

      I don’t know. I’m not out of my 30s yet and bristle a bit when a teen or early 20-something calls me “sir,” and I’m a lifelong Southerner. Sometimes it’s manners and sometimes it’s a passive-aggressive way of people reminding you the clock is ticking.

      • dentonitis

        I don’t know what you mean by “lifelong Southerner,” but here in Texas, calling someone “ma’am” or “sir” is never a passive-aggressive anything. It’s always meant as a sign of respect that is drilled into kids throughout their childhood, same as “please” and “thank you.” I’m 40 years old, and I’ve only recently discovered some folks (yankees, mostly) think of it as somehow rude. Get over it, yankees.

      • Doremifah Solatido

        I’m over it. Now go polish the car that’s up on cinderblocks in front of your trailer.

      • anonymous

        Then in 99% of those cases, you’re just oversensitive. I see an impulse-buy red sports car in your future if you don’t come to terms with the flow of time soon.

      • Bambi

        Actually midnight blue is more my color. I suppose that was a mill of the run midlife crisis statement you were trying to use and be funny but um….NOT!

    • LD

      I do the ma’am thing. I’m only 21 and I’ve called teenage girls ma’am before. I’m female. It’s just something my mom beat in to my brain (not literally).

    • Cheri

      Ditto. I’m a Southerner, and when I transferred to a different office, my new boss (who is really laid-back) bristled when I called him sir. I had to tell him I don’t do it because I think he expects me to call him that….I do it out of habit because it’s polite manners.

      • Bambi

        Does it matter what age you are? It is not just a southern thang, ok idiots?! IT IS A MANNERS THANG! GET OVER IT!!

    • sylver

      I’m a 28 year old southern woman who works with the public. Everyone who comes in is either a sir or a ma’am regardless of the age. What else are you supposed to call someone when you don’t know their name?

      Although I will admit that the first time I was called ma’am sometime in late high school it was a bit unnerving.

      I think Chelsea is just showing her New Jersey upbringing if she has a problem being called ma’am.

      On a related note…ya’ll is much preferable to youse guys. And anyone who thinks that a clearly plural form of the word you is not necessary is just wrong.

      • sylver

        BTW when I say I am a southern woman I mean that I am from Kentucky. I consider it the south but some people call it mid-west.

      • Merry Bear

        In Philly it is “Yuz”. Youse guys is preferable to yuz, and I no longer bristle at anything anymore, being of a respectable age. Raised in the North, living in the South, I have come to terms with ma’am, though I will agree it is sometimes used as a pejorative.

    • Gator

      I have lived in the south for over 20 years now, and when I moved down in 5th grade I got detention for NOT calling my teacher ma’am. It is now habit to call everyone ma’am or sir, regardless of age. I taught high school for several years, and I expected the respect of the students, and I gave them the same respect back. And yes that means that I would call them ma’am and sir. Even though they were younger and I was in a position of authority. I will even say ma’am and sir to my 3 and 7 year old niece and nephew. It is a part of the cutlure in the south, and even though it took getting used to at first, I like it now, and find it hard not to say ma’am when asked. Here it is considered polite to say it to nearly everyone, whether they are in a position or age above or below you.

    • mujer

      There a lot of “Pats” in the world for e to use ma’am and sir because it has backfired before :)

  • Matt

    Great. But shouldn’t someone here be single, sexy and looking for love on some hot website where we should check out her sexy photos?

    • EMcG

      Ha! I was thinking the same thing.

    • Merry Bear

      Oh, oh! I am! Sexy middle aged honey, looking for hot lovin outside marriage with a man of (barely) legal age. Charlie Hunnam look-alikes, only please. Check out my hot website, Hotmammalovin.com.

      Oh and, My boyfriend thinks the same as me…

    • Kristen

      I’m glad someone brought that up. I was wondering where the resident spammers were.

    • Bambi

      Yes….that would be ME! My hubby found me on this site: Men looking for some loving with women that have big boobies!!! LOL

  • D

    Madam, or madame, is a polite title used for women which, in English, is the equivalent of Mrs. or Ms., and is often found abbreviated as ma’am, and less frequently as ma’m. It is derived from the French madame, which means “my lady”, the feminine form of lord; the plural of ma dame in this sense is mes dames. The French is in turn derived from the Latin mea domina, meaning “my master (of the house)”.[1] “Madam” is also found used to refer to a woman who owns or runs a brothel,[2][3] though the abbreviated form “ma’am” is not used in this respect.

    • kel

      Thats cool that you can wikipedia.lol

  • stan

    Chelsea Lately isn’t even that good of a host. Every monologue is obviously read (and not well) off of a teleprompter. Also, this “story” is incoherent, at best. Karen Valby, please take a remedial English course at your local CC.

    • jayne

      “Also, this “story” is incoherent, at best. Karen Valby, please take a remedial English course at your local CC.”

      Agreed. From the point of even the title I was annoyed by the writing style of this whole thing.

  • Matthew

    I agree with the ma’am comment. I grew up in Texas, and it’s just something you do. It’s not meant as a snide remark or anything. Most people here in Minneapolis look at me like I’m trying to be a smart ass when I call them sir or ma’am. It’s just manners folks, no reason to get all offended.

    • daisyj

      Sure, but manners mean different things in different contexts. In some places it’s a title applied to any woman to connote respect, in others it indicates that the speaker believes the person has some significant seniority to them, either in age or rank. And if that is obviously not true, then it can be taken as being snarky.

  • whatevs

    I’m from Texas and I get offended if someone calls me ma’am because that name is reserved for old people.

    • Scott

      It is not reserved for old people, that is just who you usually say it to out of respect. Its all about respect.

  • meshellcutie_mn

    I am from MN, if someone calls me “ma’am” I get instantly mad as this is referred to old people…senior citizens…not a 29 yr old woman! I don’t care if your from the south or not, this is just not something women like to hear…PERIOD.

    • tia

      I don’t think ma’am is reserved for old people. It is reserved for people that deserve respect. As someone in a the service industry in the south, I use ma’am all the time, respectfully. My nieces and nephews have all been taught to say “sir” and “ma’am” to any adult, regardless of age, because again, it’s a sign of respect.

    • Katja

      It just takes some getting used to and some recognition and awareness that you’re not a kid any more. I didn’t like being called “ma’am” for a while, until I realized that I was a grown woman, and I was in fact old enough to be called “ma’am”. I’m younger than you are, but I’m a full adult, and that is the polite way to address an adult stranger for many people. It has nothing to do with being old. I myself use “ma’am” and “sir” for all adults, certainly not just older folks. I actually find that I mostly use it without meaning to on sales clerks and cashiers and people whose service I am using, regardless of their age. I think that comes from respecting that they are doing something for me; I think I’d be far less likely to use it in small talk with a stranger on the sidewalk. Anyways, I’m finding it quite interesting to see the different ways people use and respond to “sir” or “ma’am”. (For the record, I’m from the northern reaches of the south.)

      • mary q contrary

        THIS. It’s nice to see that someone can actually grasp the reality of this “controversy”.

      • mary q contrary

        Oh, and I’m also from the northern reaches of the south, in case any of the many commenters who seem to think that only Southerners use this term has an objection.

      • Bambi

        Better than being called “honey” or “hun”……

    • Lino

      Jeez, lighten up, Francis. If that’s all it takes to get you “instantly mad,” might be time for anger management. Your call name indicates a certain degree of vanity on your part, though, so maybe it’s understandable that you’d be so sensitive to something so trivial.

    • anonymous

      29 means you’re supposedly an adult, which in turn, means you’re supposedly old enough to not sweat the small stuff. Also, you know those senior citizens? You ARE going to be one of them some day and you’d better come to terms with that.

  • Ryan

    This has to be one of the most incoherent stories I have ever read. How can this person have a job where they write for a living?!?

  • Apotheosis

    That Chelsia chick looks like she was totally into him. That dude Johnny may see woody wood pecker on planet Mars whiling surfing the waves of Pluto. To bad Sid Basterd where those funny hats b/c the Tau Cetians are planning there attack.

  • MC

    I’m from California and most people I know, men and women alike, get offended by ma’am and sir. I, on the other hand, was raised right and know that these are terms of respect and since I left the house and have been on my own EXPECT to be referred to with respect. So I am very pleased when someone calls my 30 year old self, ma’am. It let’s me know they’ve been raised right as well.

  • Steve

    If Knoxville is being true to his genteel Southern roots then good for him. Folks who grew up in Texas and the South during the 1950s and 1960s learned that failing to say “Sir” and “Ma’am” meant one’s lifespan might be drastically shortened by conscientious parents. Adults were to be treated with respect so the child understood the concept of reciprocal courtesy. I too have been amazed at how some folks — including those in the Northeast U.S. — become puzzled if not apopletic when called “Sir” or “Ma’am”. I once had a New Yorker explain to me that Southern politeness was a dishonest masking of aggression. Is there something in the water in that part of the country? As for making paranoid folks feel older, I’ve seen many older men refer to younger women as “ma’am” out of respect.

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