Image Credit: Bill O'Leary/The Washington Post/Getty ImagesBravo went for drama in the finale, relying on dramatic music and stern TV clips and a running reminder of the dates of these most scandalous events. (Although this soon lost power, as we’d skip from Dec. 3 to Jan. 13 and it started to feel like really all we were getting was the schedule of the Bravo production team. Also, there were two Thursday, Jan. 21 screen shots which means some poor intern made an uh-oh.) But back to TUESDAY, NOV. 24: the First Idiots were preening in their ridiculous limo, talking about the honor of knowing President Obama and how only people of the highest order got invited to State Dinners. Meanwhile red and purple and green neon strobes flashed slowly above their heads. The Salahis needed to get to the White House fast so the driver could make a U-ey and go pick up a crew of kids waiting outside the BCC homecoming dance.
Speaking of interns making oops, some poor girl with cold hands looked and looked for the Salahi name on her crumpled guest list. But it turns out if you want to get into the White House you just need to make a joke about your name (“everybody spells it Michael!”) and wait out the confusion. The young woman told the Salahis to move ahead to the line and they’d figure this mess out. So off the Salahis went, while the sound guy and camera man hung around outside the gates, marveling that that jackass couple had somehow gotten their squirrelly selves into another VIP crowd.
Poor Vice President Biden, the biggest victim of Season 1. First we saw him mugging goofy on Cat’s iPhone and then there he was grinning obliviously while Michaele clutched onto his jacket breast. We rejoined the Salahis on WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 25. Michaele thought she was a huge hit at the party and she got to speak to the Vice President at length. And Katie Couric was a doll. And Rahm Emanuel did jello shots with her. And the Ambassador Facebook friended her that morning. And oh my God, she was so hungover that she just wanted to eat air eggs and pretend bacon and watch a Lifetime movie marathon all day. Instead a Washington Post gossip columnist had to go and be a buzzkill by daring to suggest she and her husband crashed the State Dinner.
This is why I love Jason and Stacie, who supposedly first heard the news while sipping coffee and reading the Post:
Jason: You are s#$$ing me!
Stacie: Who would have the balls to do that?
Jason: We’re not talking about a club, we’re talking about the White House!
The whole spectacle horrified Cat, who repeated her “plastic, not fantastic” line throughout the night. Of all the Housewives, Lynda definitely got the biggest thrill out of the Salahis’ months-long walk of shame. Lynda is my favorite of these women—she’s shrewd, discerning, a little wicked, a little all wrong, Ebong, Ebong, Ebong—and she looked like the C-SPAN hearings were her Oscar night/Superbowl Sunday/US Open mens’ semifinal/Lost finale all rolled into one dry hour. It wasn’t anybody’s finest hour at the viewing party, not with all that cackling and finger-pointing. And yet those dratted Salahis had it coming somewhat after their wretchedness all season. On TV the Salahis sat there stone-faced, intoning their 5th Amendment rights, as various politicos took their shots. “The Constitution protects fools,” jabbed one particularly effective man. “The Constitution protects stupidity, the Constitution protects errant thought.” The camera shifted to Michaele rearranging her cashmere cape, willing herself out of the room and into a field of lollipops and free Four Seasons matchbooks and Redskins pom poms. “Thank God it does,” the man continued. “Thank you, I’ll reel back.” Lynda, on the verge of orgasm, cried out “Oh don’t reel back baby boo! You are finally on!”
Why do these folks go on insisting that Michaele is the vulnerable party here, driven by Tareq’s egomania to a life of grift and artifice. Paul worried that his friend was simply stuck in the marriage, in her 40s and out of options. Pfft, spat Lynda. “Remove her extensions, take her makeup off, put on a apron and start servicing people and making tips,” she declared. Good for her, she’s exactly right. But good for Paul too for reminding us that these women all come from or married into money, and it was easy to cast stones from their gilded perches. But all that said, I don’t believe for a second that Michaele is a victim. If anything, I find her the scarier and smarter of the couple. There’s something frozen in that woman’s eyes, something wild and driven about her taste for the spotlight. When the Salahi attorney gave a press conference about his clients’ innocence, Michaele’s bony head kept snaking out from behind him. She will not be denied the camera! She will not ever go back to that makeup counter at Nordstroms! She will have your husband Jill Biden, if it’s the last thing she does!
I’ve never been more convinced that it is Michaele in fact who pulled the strings than at Jason and Stacie’s dinner party. Cat was in attendance, but only so she could ream the two out for getting her black-balled from the White House Christmas Party. She sat there choking bile for a minute while poor Jason and Stacie tried to gracefully steer the conversation from their decor to the elephant in the room. Michaele wouldn’t have it though. She wanted to talk colors. She wanted to talk about Paris. Finally Cat pounced, declaring the two the most artificial, fake people she’d ever met in her life. “You’re a disgrace to America!” Up Michaele stood and the two women started circling Jason’s chair and for a second I was sure somebody would lose their extensions. Cat stormed out, Michaele threw on her Cruella DeVille red fur coat, Tareq sat there dumbly. “Well the good news is now we have all this hummus to ourselves,” said Jason. Love you man.
But now it was time to spill. Come on Salahis, what is up? Nope, Michaele would not go there. Stacie and Jason made valiant attempts to have an honest conversation on the matter, but the woman wouldn’t bend let alone break, not when they could talk about happy things like their day and stuff. “I think it’s time to go,” she ordered, after Jason dared to suggest that perhaps they were feeling some emotion akin to shame. “I’m done. I love you.” Tareq seemed like he actually wanted some more hummus and for the first time I found him a little bit endearing. Am I crazy, or did that man look downright scared? It was like he was pleading with Jason: Save me, don’t make me leave with this crazy woman, I want so badly to talk, somebody help me. He looked on the verge of spilling something when Michaele growled in her Misery voice from the kitchen. “Tareq, help me with my coat. Thanks love!” And then she whisked him out the back door where she promptly delivered three brisk slaps to his face in the name of love.
Thank God that’s done. Is Michaele diabolical? Is the DC series salvageable? Did anyone watch the Salahis gloat to Andy Cohen that the finale completely vindicated them? What are those two smoking?
I refused to watch the Houswives of DC, because of the Salahi’s. They are horrid, it is really upsetting to me that someone could sneak in on a White House dinner. In this day and age It’s hard to belive this happened.I will watch next season if they are off.
I refuse to watch BRAVO because of the Salahi’s… I hope that was 14:59:30 on the clock there.
I knew Michaela was diabolical when Jason, Stacie and Mary had dinner at the winery. There was something in her eyes as she so nicely attacked Mary that told me she knows EXACTLY what she is doing. I think she’s a lot like Danielle from NJ. Blonder, sweeter, softer around the edges, but calculating and without scruples when it comes to getting what she wants.
The worst part of this episode was watching the complete disintegration of the Cat/Charles marriage. Especially when he delivered that line about some poeple just wanted to be famous, while glaring at his wife. THAT really hurt to watch.
I agree. I genuinely like Cat though and I have to sympathize with her a bit though. Charles came across like he just didn’t care all season.
I don’t feel sorry for Cat. She is the rudest woman on there. Yes, Michaele is a sneak, but Cat thinks it’s okay that she’s rude b/c at least she’ll be rude to your face. Rude is rude. She’s the first one to complain that someone is classless, yet I have yet to see her display any class. I like watching Michaele’s drama, but there is nothing interesting about Cat.
I can’t stand Cat. She is as cold as ice, I can’t believe anyone would marry her in the first place.
It was the truth. Why else would a woman agree to do that show.
I refuse to watch this crap, too, but wasn’t this all recreated? How could they have had cameras following them before this show was even created?
The White House crashing incident happened towards the end of filming the season. It’s a misconception that the Salahis crashed the White House in order to get a spot on the show. They had already been picked to be on the show and all of this is evident if you had been watching but it appears you didn’t.
Ah…yeah, I had heard that they had been picked because of this incident, and not the other way around.
The reason RK is confused is because Bravo put out press releases which said that the Salahi’s were being CONSIDERED for the show and the filming may or may not end on the actual show. I don’t know if this was true or just to stir up interest but there was a period there where people were lead to believe that the Salahis crashed the White House as the coup de grace in order to make it on the show. So RK is not too far off.
Doesn’t change the fact that these two liars wouldn’t do anything other than invoke the 5th amendment when questioned under oath.
Oh and by the by, they have just filed for bankruptcy so if they owe you any money for anything you are toast
These people are ridiculous. You have the Salahi’s..enough said. Then you have Cat; she rages on and on about losing her Christmas party invite, but barely mentions that her husband’s job could be greatly affected by her association with the Salahi’s. Next you have the big hypocrite Lynda who revels in other people’s misery while standing on her big self righteous pedestal. I was glad to see Paul call bullsh*t on her.
Paul strikes me as a smarter, classier version of Dwight from the Atlanta version of the show. He seems to genuinely have it together and isn’t afraid to call the housewives down on the carpet.
Please don’t compare Paui to Dwight. Paul is a smart reasonable person. And, he was right to call out all the other ladies for saying Michaele should leave Tarque and start over, it isn’t that easy to leave the life behind.
I have really enjoyed this season of DC and I hope it comes back for another…without the Salahis. While they added needed tension, they are bad people and shouldn’t be rewarded with being stars on a show. Bravo could easily find another woman, possibly Erika, that doesn’t get along with everybody to keep the tension there. I thought the finale episode was edited very well. At first, I was turned off by the Turners being so nice to the Salahis at their house at the end of the episode. I do understand though that they had invited them over as guests at their house and were trying to be hospitable. I thought they did a great job of continuing to pry for answers from the tight-lipped Salahis and for that I commend them. Can’t wait for the reunion!
HYSTERICAL recap!! Love that you captured what was really going down. I definitely want to see another season, but WITHOUT the plastic people, please! I hope they wind up in jail where they belong for all their wrongdoing. Shame on them for being fame whores.
These shows seem to function with a “bete noire” to add drama.. Jill, Daniella and these 2 sociopaths. The other cast members in DC are personable and funny, but who is going to stir the pot if the Salahis leave?
This is actually my favorite “housewives” show. I relate more to these women (other than their financial status)in that they are engaged in the issues of the day. I hope the show continues without the artificial drama of Team Salahi and we get an insider view of DC culture. Love this show!
I agree with Kathleen. I really looked forward to watching the DC wives more than any others. Love Cat and Mary. The Salahi’s are real crazy people doing incredibly stupid things. It great entertainment. These people (except for the crazy Salahis) have some class and are not trashy in the gutter like NJ and Atlanta. Why is Makaele so hell bent on proving she was a cheerleader? That is really psycho.
Not “reel back.” “Yield back.” It’s what you say in Congress when you are finished with your allotted time and you yield the rest of it back to the chairman of the committee. (Just thought I’d point it out.)
Thanks Bridget for pointing out that glaring error; Lungren was indeed yielding the remainder of his time as Lynda clearly knew, evidenced by her funny barbed comment. The Salahis were NOT vindicated as they claim but DENIED an invitation, despite badgering the WH Social Secretary’s offices, AND THEY KNEW IT. They slithered past the first check point via “Distraction Device”, unwitting(?) accomplices, a Bravo camera crew. Creepy “Mick-elle” clawed and clutched Biden’s chest while litigatory “Tark” squashed in for a photo op. Mission accomplished:Shameless publicity stunt complete; “Oasis” isn’t just a band; the con is on.
I’m surprised the overly Xanax-ed Mary didn’t try to put the focus on her silly ridiculous dramas, including that clothes borrowing daughter Lolly! If it comes back for a season too, Mary and Michaele need to hit the road.
If you notice on Watch What Happens Live, Tareq emphasized that the finale proved that they “didn’t lie” and “didn’t sneak in” yet he never once mentioned that that truly were invited. They have still yet to produce an invitation. They were not invited, intended on sneaking in, then somehow, someway, got lucky and slipped through security, as shown in the finale. Guilty, guilty, guilty. If in fact they are 100% innocent, couldn’t they sue for all their lawyer bills, emotional stress and defamation of character? But they wont do that because they know they are guilty…
I thought the same thing. Anyone going to the White House has to give their social security number and other information but that doesn’t guarantee an invitation. I thought they willfully missed the point on WWHL.
No doubt! It was pathological that tareq sat there and claimed “vidication”. All the finale episode showed was that a girl with a clipboard let them pass WITHOUT finding their name in the list. My guess is that that poor girl is now out a job.
So, why haven’t charges been filed against the Salahi’s? I would think that the gov’t would want to save face and make an example out of them. What’s going on with that?
Ok, really the only thing wrong they did was assume they could get in, but they didn’t force their way in or give false names. So, really is there anything they did criminally worng. we alll know that would they did is wrong, but I see the security as being the party in the wrong. If they were not on the list then they should not have be let past that point. Don’t like them and glad they aren’t coming back.
The case is still open, but perhaps because it is a waste of taxpayer money to pursue the matter any further. The Salahi’s infamy will reign in their antics.
Did anyone watch the Salahi’s on Watch What Happens Live? They are unbelieveable, when Andy asked them if they were happy with how they were portrayed on the finale they said yes and that it proved that were not liars. Then where confronted with the question about being a Redskins Cheerleader she continued to assert that she was despite the organization and her own brother both stating she was not and her best response was that she is writing her own book. What can you do when all reason has left the conversation.
Yeah, but did you notice how she never said she was a cheerleader. She just said she was “involved in the organization”. That could mean she sorted their mail or sent them a Christmas card. And their defense of their party crashing was that they didn’t “lie”. They never said they weren’t invited, just that they didn’t lie. They seem to think that omission of fact isn’t dishonest.
Supposedly anyone can pay dues to an organization. I dont’ think she was a cheerleader with the Redskins in any year. She’s been vocal about her age so her excuse didn’t make sense either. She’s delusional and I now believe she’s the worst of the two. Thankfully everyone knows they are grifters now and only Diane Diamond and people like her are being taking advantage of now.