'The Real Housewives of D.C.' recap: Starving for attention

housewives-groupImage Credit: Adam Olszweski/BravoOh Adam, where have you been all my D.C. Season 1? It turns out Stacie’s brother-in-law is a rapper with a #1 single in Paris and that guy is adorable. I could have done with more close-up shots of his wiry biceps than of Michaele’s Brazilian blown-out straw tresses slapping back and forth as she boogied akimbo at his concert. And I’m all full up on scenes of Tareq sweating in a black T-shirt. And scenes of him talking nonsense about the legs and arches of wine. And scenes of him bloviating about his wife’s hearty appetite. And scenes of him.

But Stacie and Jason are a forgiving couple and they invited the Salahis to join them at their friends Lauren and Jerry’s vineyard. (Why weren’t these impressive two, whose wine was served at the Governors Ball, cast on the show? Too elegant for reality TV I suppose.) And then the Salahis wanted to prove just how rich and spontaneous they were so they booked a ticket to Paris on three days’ notice to catch Jason’s brother in concert. While Tareq was busy playing the man in Paris, popping open a bottle of Dom, Paul was reeling in DC about revelations of the Salahis’ mean-spirited stinginess. It turns out that Michaele very much wanted to host Paul’s birthday party but only if her duties entailed putting her name on an invitation and enjoying a prime parking spot for their Girls Gone Wild limo. She didn’t want to actually pay for anything. The reason Michaele stood Paul up last week at the Four Seasons was because Tareq was waiting for the birthday boy to sign legal papers saying the couple was entirely off the hook for the bill. “He brought one bottle of champagne that he lanced on linda’s ass,” Paul said with a sigh. Meanwhile Tareq swanned around the party with his chest puffed out telling guests they better enjoy themselves after all he’d spent on the affair. Would somebody just pants that guy already and tell him he’s a no-good clown?

Cat continued to be unimpressed with American foodstuffs. At Mary’s party for her hair stylist friends Cat declared her entree revolting, before being revulsed by insinuations of racism. “I’m so not racist in any way,” she declared. “Racist, sexist…” It always strikes me as ridiculous when someone adamantly refuses any strain of prejudice. But dammit Cat won’t stand for it. Nor will she have her husband pooh poohing her claims of fatigue. Nor will she put up with holding a bevy of shopping bags for her book cover. Her book is so not about shopping; it’s about her heh-larious escapades with inappropriate lov-uhs after she left her husband.

Mary and Lynda didn’t have much to do this episode. Mary reclined in her tastefully appointed living room and clucked over news of the Salahi’s tastelessness. That said, she did admit that their reds are quite lovely. And Lynda succinctly echoed the sentiments of Housewives viewers everywhere. Michaele: “Get rid of your husband.”

And now, my weekly driblet of Michaele’s antics: Copper colored leather jumpsuit. Will eat a whole chicken breast in one sitting, don’t you think she won’t. Very strong opinions on our President. Preach, honey. “I think he’s all about bringing us all together and letting go and there will be those mindsets that’s what makes up the world you know we’re all different.” Yeah, I have no idea either.

What did you power players think? How cute was Jason’s baby brother? Whenever you see someone else appear on the show do you too wonder why Bravo didn’t cast them instead? Any of you going to buy Cat’s new book? Anyone? Bueller?

Comments (50 total) Add your comment
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  • Jenn

    I want to know how Cat is able to function on 6 hours of sleep. Oh the horror.

    • Diggity

      LOL, I know. 6 hours? I wish.

  • yo

    let me get this right…the BRIT is repulsed by american food?

    oh, honey, let’s not even go there…the most interesting thing to hit british cuisine is chicken tikka masala, and that’s not even british, baby.

    • Robnj

      HAH! So true. I guess fish & chips is haute cuisine to her.

      • Tiffany

        or haggis!! lol

    • RK

      Hey less of the British jibes please, Im British and find Cat equally annoying so dont attack us all because of one pleb on a silly reality show!

    • Bonita

      I love Cat, Cat is where its at, shes real and she is funny, I love the Palin look alike, I wouldnt watch house wifes of DC if not for Cat, she makes the show amazingly funny with Humor.

  • Brooke

    Nice going, Salahis. Who has the gall to claim to host a party that they don’t pay for? Poor Paul, I felt terrible for him. He is absolutely adorable. I smell a spinoff. Make it happen, Bravo!

    • Jeanne

      It’s called chutzpah. Big-time chutzpah.

  • James

    I think it’s fun when Cat’s husband is on, trying to identify the exact moments when he looks at her and thinks..”why did I marry this witch?”

    • Jenn

      I guess this explains their divorce.

      • Skipper

        Ooooh that’s right! I forgot that it was reported before the show aired that she was getting divorced. It’s even more ridiculous now that we know they are practically newlyweds.

    • sandasavi

      He is better without her. For him to be respected and keep his high profile job with the Whitehouse. He doens’t need his wife to write a tell all about her divorce and sexual escapades. Kind of tacky. Who wants to read about her boring life.

    • Crystal

      Cat looks like a beautiful woman…until she opens her mouth. Her behavior and attitude make her ugly. Oh, and her creepy manly cigarette voice.

      • kluv

        I thought it was just me but her voice is gravel. She makes Bea Arthur’s voice sound like bell chimes.

  • Robnj

    I don’t even wathc these shows, but the recaps just crack me up. And if anyone thinks this is how people are in D.C., then they are clueless. Same for all the cities. Smart people would not sign on for this. Congrats to Bravo for cementing the shallowness of the Salahis. They wanted to be on TV and now they are proving to be even worse than we thought.

  • Evelyn

    So, Cat doesn’t want her book cover to be too glamorous or about shopping, yet she poses with a huge Louis Vuitton bag, a pocketbook and three designer shopping bags on each arm, with a puss face to boot.

    • Evelyn

      P.S. Pretty weak recap…

      • Jenn

        Pretty weak show.

      • junior

        yes. i agree it is a pretty weak recap this week. maybe the show isn’t into its groove yet. the scene with with cat and paul is crazy b/c she announces she is not a racist and then calls him “colored”. edith bunker calling?

  • DC

    As much as I like Paul I don’t really side with him on this whole party thing. He asked them to throw him a birthday party. Expecting someone to throw you a party that big and pay for everything is a bit over the top. Lynda threw a dinner for him the year before and apparently that affair wasn’t big enough for the poor guy. I can find plenty of things to pick about the Salahis but this isn’t one of them.

    As far as the other couple with the vineyard, I can see why they are not on the show. Their winery is south of Charlottesville, VA, over 2 and 1/2 hours from Washington. In that same time you can, on a good day, drive almost to Philadelphia from DC. Heck, the Salhi’s live over an hour away from DC already. I think it would be too difficult trying to get everyone together.

    • Ember

      I don’t get the whole “I ask other people to throw me a party” thing with Paul. Does that mean “plan” the party (in which case, the planner doesn’t have to pay for it)? Or what. Apparently, Tareq did tell people at the party he paid a lot of money for the party. So, if that’s true, he does hold some blame for Paul being upset.

  • Celeste

    I am loving Mary and Stacy.

    • Jala Peno

      I do too. I’m not sure if Mary has been pulled and plumped but she is so cute for a mom of 5 in her what late 30′s 40 ish? She looks like a young girl.

      • suzeq

        Late 30′s/40ish?!?SHE IS THE MOTHER OF A 22 YEAR OLD!!!!

  • Summer

    So far I have not seen much in the DC location of the RHO franchise that reflects why we needed a version of the show here at all…

    If there are going to be new locales, let’s at least get some of the new versions placed in other countries next instead of more US cities. I have no interest in the Real Housewives of Waukesha (WI), Real Housewives of Austin, or Real Housewives of Omaha coming to my tv ever!

    • blush

      EXACTLY! I want to see REAL housewives, not RICH housewives.

  • Ember

    Stacie and Jason are the only normal people on the show. Mary’s husband and Cat’s husband also seem normal, with Mary being sort-of normal (the best that can be expected, with her privileged upbringing). At least none of them live in gigantically huge awful homes, like on RHONJ.

  • TJ

    I like Mary, she seems like one of the few who doesn’t feed off of drama. I quite like Lynda and Cat as well, they seem like straight shooters to me. I’m getting a bit sick of the whole “Cat is racist” thing, I think people are blowing things out of proportion just to cause problems. Does Michaele remind anyone of a Stepford wife? There’s just something so…robotic about her.

  • hater

    All these Salahi haters can suck it. I think Michaele is HOT! Michaele, dump your chubby hubby and get with a champion like me! I’ll take you on a ride (if you know what I mean) ;-)

  • BigEd

    Michaele looks like a gal that knows how to go for a ride. She needs to dump that loser hubby. Michaele is always running up and hugging and rubbing against everyone…Hey Michaele…rub on this.

  • Chieftuk

    Cat is by far one of the most insenstive people on TV and is a racist, as evident by her referring to Paul as Gay (I get that) and COLORED!

    • Miche

      I agree Chieftuk!! That was truly a racist comment about him being Colored! I had to replay that because I did not believe Bravo aired that!

      • Meghan

        I think it’s more a cultural thing that the show and viewers are blowing way out of proportion. She’s from Britain, a country that went through a very different set of events in terms of race relations than American. It’s only fair to say Britain’s social norms about racial terms and opinions might vary from the US.

      • Chieftuk

        Yes, she may be from Britain; however, given the amount of time she’s been in this country, coupled with her husband’s position, there’s absolutely no excuse whatsoever for something like this. And Miche hit nail on the head in that Bravo never should have aired that!

    • SF Fan

      Oh my GAWD she was joking!! I don’t care for her either people but SERIOUSLY! Paul is gay and black and he laughed cause it was a joke…Get over yourselves.

    • Nokilissa

      I am not a fan of Cat. I find her to be cringe-inducingly insecure, which causes her to project mean all over the place. But I must object here. I truly believe she was KIDDING with the “colored” comment. Are you seriously thinking she meant this, particularly in that context?

  • Sally M

    Cat and Bravo are misrepresenting her former husband’s employer. Charles does not work for the White House. He works for Newsweek and has taken pictures of the presidents and vice presidents for Newsweek. Most of the time he is out of town on Newsweek shoots. The real reason Cat is on the show is to sell her book. She caught Bravo’s attention because she was in the British tabloids boasting of a one night stand she had with Prince Harry. Cat claims Charles is a Whitehouse photographer to justify her being on a show for DC housewives. I wonder if she staged the marriage to get on the show to sell her book. The marriage ended before the first season did.

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