This is what the 'Breaking Dawn' birth scene could look like. Seriously.

Granted, this was not directed by Bill Condon, but below is an imagining of what an R-rated Breaking Dawn could resemble. Anyone who’s read the final Twilight book, or has decided he or she never will, is encouraged to watch the Wooden Nickel Shorts video below. Those working their way through the series, bookmark this page for later. As the title of the video says, this actually happens…

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  • Madd

    This is how you do it, “Vampires Suck”.

    • Ceballos

      Lord help me. My gf saw the commercial for that on TV, and she said she wants to see it…I kept waiting for her to crack up and say she was kidding, but I’m pretty sure she meant it.

    • Madd

      Oh, and I read the article it quotes…it’s actually the best thing ever.

  • Ceballos

    I kinda like balding Edward Cullen.

    • Karate Pants

      That makes one of us! ;)

      • StewyFan

        Hey, I would do him.

  • Karate Pants

    Well sure, when you put it THAT way, it sounds terrible…
    Breaking Dawn sucks, and the movie will too. So glad Eclipse was fantastic, I got to end it on a high note.

    • StewyFan

      Why can’t we just have part one be the wedding and honeymoon, the end and then go home. I don’t want to see the rest.

    • janelle

      nope breaking dawn won’t suck ur just mad and a idiot beacuse your mad that this will be bigger than you want it to be its better than eclipse so i don’t wanna hear that you went to see the movie and it sucked or you liked it k?

  • Alexander

    When is Bill going to film the Richard Pryor movie instead of this crap.

  • nodnarb

    Call me crazy, but Breaking Dawn was the only book I liked precisely because these macabre things happened. The previous 3 books felt neutered. That said, imprinting was pretty ridiculous. A WEREWOLF FALLS IN LOVE WITH A BABY!!

    • Karate Pants

      It would be so fun if the macabre events of BD were made into something hilariously graphic, maybe a la Jennifer’s body – but there’s just no hope of it. Fans like you are best left with whatever you cooked up in your mind while reading that mess. ;)

  • Stacie

    I’m one of those never-going-to-read-it-but-want-to-be-part-of-pop-culture types so this video was perfect for me!

  • Sarah El

    This is way better than the actual movie will ever be.

  • Jackal

    Does that really happen?

    • Kat

      Yes. Really. Every single thing in there happens. And that’s only the worst of it; there are plenty of smaller disturbing things that go on as well.

    • StewyFan

      Ummm, yeah. BD sucks a$$.

  • Katja

    Fantastic. My favorite parts were Edward appearing all sultry-like in a suit jacket on the beach as Bella puts her snorkeling gear on, and the fact that the telepathically communicating fetus sounds like Hypnotoad.

  • kelli

    i read the first three in a weekend. i was burnt out, so i only got 1/4 way through Breakin Dawn. does this all really, truly happen in the book? i know she got pregnant, but did edward really deliver THAT WAY and did Jacob really fall in love with the baby??!!

  • Shellie

    That book was so fricking weird. Like, who comes up with that? Really? What is WRONG with that woman?

  • jodipo

    hahahahaaaaa!! Hilarious!

    Jackal, ya, sadly all that stuffhappens

  • Brad

    I’m sorry, but I think Kristen Stewart’s performance is so going to OWN every single one of you and you know this.

    • Brett

      What, she’s taking acting classes before they start filming in the next movie?

    • Jen

      What do you even mean? Own us how? Girl can act, just not on this platform. At all. It’s as if the Twilight saga zapped her ability to be a legitimate thespian. Plus, she doesn’t do much since the material is not quite up to snuff.

  • Sam

    I thought they said that they were going to try to make the movie in to a PG 13 instead of Rated R. They should really go out with a bang and add another 100 mil in their production budget instead of keeping it under 75 once again. Make Bella’s transformation and the visuals through her eyes a special effect masterpiece…They can afford it but they probably won’t.

    • Jane

      They should also do some special effects on Kristen Stewart so she isn’t biting her lip every two minutes.

      • Jen

        Oh, BURN. One of the best comments I have read in a long time.

  • Carrie #2

    Hee hee, this was pretty hilarious for a Twilight-hater like me!

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