In a stunning marriage of the skanky and the sparkly, ABC will announce the season 11 cast of Dancing With the Stars during Aug. 30′s episode of Bachelor Pad. (Skanky and sparkly are not mutually exclusive, of course.) It’ll be a creepy mass wedding co-sponsored in part by Macy’s and Valtrex. What a fun, sexy time for trashy reality TV!
As usual, ABC will not leak anything before the announcement, even if I lovingly prod the DWTS publicists through the Internet with my fringed magic wand. But here are some rumored season 11 hoofers anyway: Newly engaged Bachelorette “stars” Ali and Roberto (they deny it), Jersey Shore‘s The Situation, former NFL quarterback Kurt Warner. Troy Aikman said he would appear on the show but he was just joking; who would do such a thing? Capt. Sig Hansen from Deadliest Catch would totally do it, but he’s supposed to be at sea. Meanwhile, Real Housewife/recent pauper Teresa Giudice Tweeted that she was “thinking about” doing the show, but that’s almost as meaningless as me announcing that I’m back into Hawaiian Punch. Compare and contrast. We all have crazy thoughts sometimes!
People I’d like to see on ‘DWTS’: They might be long shots, but let me have my fantasies! Elizabeth Berkley because she’s a natural showgirl and every season needs a “ringer.” Brian Austin Green unless he’s too busy guesting on Desperate Housewives. Lindsay Lohan fulfilling some sort of court-appointed disco fever requirement. Leonard Nimoy as the token old guy. And Charles Barkley because he’s funny and seems to think he was perhaps miscast in the universe as primarily an athlete instead of a TV star.
Danielle Staub reportedly just got sacked from Bravo, so I’d rather see her than RHONJ castmate Teresa. I know Danielle is totally heinous in every way under the sun/chandelier, but as a person who recaps the show, it’s actually more fun when the cast includes a nationally detested attention s’more a la Kate Gosselin. Tila Tequila: same reason. Kara DioGuardi because she likes to rip off her clothes. Betty White as long as she’s allowed a limited range of motion and a 10-point handicap. But not really. I want her to live, damnit!
Finally, I understand that Sig Hansen is too busy to bother with this unless DWTS ever does a summer season (nooooooo!), but I do wish he would drop everything this fall and piss away his crew’s seasonal livelihood for his own chance to win a hardened knob of glitter. As EW’s Deadliest Catch recapper Mandi Bierly just said, “He pushes his crew to the brink on the Bering Sea, so it would be awesome to watch him push himself on the ballroom floor.”
Who’s in your Dancing With the Stars dream cast? Do you agree with EW readers Veronica and Lola that “if there is any representation of NJ (either show), I won’t be watching”?
Related: ‘DWTS’ to announce next round of dancers in live press conference
Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett
BILLY ZANE!!!!
Maybe then I wouldn’t have to hide my crush on him…
ME please. And Pasha!!! I mean since when is being a professional dancer not allowed.
Oooh what a fantasy. You could dance with Pasha, I could dance with Maks. YUM!!
Oh Al, those group dances would be mind blowing
No way! Maks is mine!
If Dmitry, Pasha, and Maks were the professionals, I might just have a heart attack every Monday night. That kind of beauty on one show is…wow.
I’ve missed you Pasha Is My Boyfriend!
Jersey Jeff would be great
How about real stars for a change? Not has-beens, or reality show personalities or famewhores…just 100 % ole-fashioned STARS: Angelina Jolie, Madonna, Michael Douglas,Jerry Seinfeld, Jimmy Smits,Sydney Poitier,Vanessa Williams, Anna Kournikova
because they have better things to do with their lives.
It would be fun to see Gerard Butler (I KNOW he’s busy),and Patrick Wilson. Add in Shepherd Smith.
Elana: because real stars have real careers and lives, reality tv is not a step up for them.
Here is the best dream cast ever!
-Tori Spelling (because I have to follow the 90210 trend); Nicole Bobek (Olympian on Probation); Danielle Staub (reality star in need of a reality show); Russell Hantz (I want to win a reality show because I messed up back to back Survivors); Mylie Cyrus (singer) I can’t act so let me try to dance; Jon Gosselin (reality star); My ex thought she would win this show, but I will;
Pink (Singer); Because my diva gals, Li’l Kim and Mya from our video did it, so now I can; Danny Bonaduce (defunct child star); and Samantha Harris, I want to come back and do co-hosting the right way!!!
DANNY BONADUCE! I would have never thought of him, but I LOVE IT!!!! Could not agree more!
Jon Bon Jovi
Anderson Cooper
Neil Patrick Harris
Tony Danza
Heather Locklear
Taylor Swift
Jessica Alba
Faith Hill
Actually I would LOVE Samantha Harris to try as a participant rather than a co-host (she meets the entertainment correspondent criteria); love the idea of Tony Danza (he would go far with his Broadway experience); prefer the delusional housewife from Atlanta who thinks she can sing, but if Jon Gosselin came on, I would vote for him just to ensure he last longer than Kate.
AMEN to the comment about Samantha Harris and doing the cohosting the right way!!!!!! She needs to come back.
Since each new cast member replaces one from the previous season, and always from the same mold:
Tori Spelling, Peter Reckel, Jason Sehorn, Danielle Staub, Danny Bonaduce, Pink, Mylie Cyrus, Joe Jonas, Nicole Bobek, Howie Mandel, Bill O’Rielly, and Brooke Hogan.
Think about these choices, what an ideal group!! Your feelings!
Howie Mandel would never do it because he does not like to touch people’s hands
Very true about Howie. He’s got obsessive compulsive disease and can’t even shake hands.
OCD is not a disease, it’s a disorder. You can’t catch it.
I would love to see Jet or Cord from the Amazing Race on Dancing with the Stars.
YES!!!!
Excuse the dumb question but does your name mean something?
Me- I am guessing Friday Night Lights. Which is totally awesome. Tim Riggins for Dancing with the Stars!!!
It means your an idiot.
Saracen, dear, when you call someone an idiot, make sure that your post does not contain any misspellings.
Get a life, people. (Not you Saracen)
Christy Carlson Romano
Yes!! Love christy Carlson roman!! She’s would be great!!
how about Shaq? He’d probably just be carrying whomever he’s dancing with for the whole season anyway.
Katie Cassidy
Her career is just starting. This show is meant for those whose careers are going down the tube and wants everyone to know that they’re still alive
Not that your statement is even remotely true, but assuming for the sake of argument it is, then the show MUST include Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Jennifer Aniston.
Not necessarily. Gilles Marini started his career with it. Otherwise, he’d still be known as hot naked guy from the first sex and the city movie.
Kaite Cassidy!!
Jill Zarin. She desperately wants to win back the hearts of America, we all saw what went down on the last season of RHONY, and that would be hilarious. Not to mention heartwarming if she triumphs (although…..)
Richard Simmons!
Oh my god. Yes. Magic would happen
Annie, wave that wand and make it happen! Dancing fringe and Richard Simmons – a match made in heaven!
And then Jennie Garth could make a cameo appearance when HE is having a breakdown
Richard Simmons on DWTS would bring so much glitter and joy to the world.
yes! richard simmons – PERFECT!
my first thought was Richard Simmons too! and a Saved by the Bell alumni…one of the ladies.
Lisa Turtle!
GET OUT!
I would have a heart attack. I would be IAA Turtle.
ZACK MORRIS. Er, I mean Mark-Paul Gosselaar. It has to happen.
Holy crap, that’s an inspired choice. HILARIOUS!
YES YES YES RICHARD SIMMONS
He would be quite exciting in his little shorts!
Sequens on those shorts, of course. Yes, I can see it. Sequens for days!!!!
Best casting suggestions EVER!
Not an idea I would have had, however it is a Great one.
I would LOVE that!!!
Oksana Baiul would be awesome!
Nicholas Brendon from BtVS ( what else is he doing?)
as the Soap Opera entry Michael Easton
I agree with Jeannette. Nicholas Brendon was the first person who came to my mind. And on the Soap front…how about Genie Francis?
Nicholas Brendon has been in some legal trouble these days…
Maybe DWTS could be part of his parole.
Or maybe Nicole Bobeck after she gets out of jail.
Aside from legal issues and going back into rehab, Brendon’s been a recurring character on Criminal Minds for a while, and I believe he’s back this season.
And speaking of Criminal Minds – I would be thrilled to see any of the CM cast on DWTS. It would be so far from the charactors they play on the series. Could be a real surprize.
Would love to see Shemar Moore on DWTS, but don’t want to see Garcia on there.
Jane Lynch would be amazing! Maybe if there’s a summer season….
Jane Lynch is getting too overexposed already.
LESLIE JORDAN!!!!
YES! Leslie Jordan. There’s a huge push on Facebook to get him on. He would be awesome!
I have been waiting waiting waiting for MIchael Jordan…come ABC you know you can! too many athletes to not have one of the greatest of all time…David Beckham would be good too!
Good Luck on both those!!
Funny how in the past few seasons, I care less about the celebs, and more about the pros that are on. If I could get Julianne, Derek, Maks, Mark, Chelsie, Tony, Louie, Anna, Cheryl and Lacey – I’d be happy with anyone they put them with.
I totally agree!
and PASHA!!!
Agreed as well. Although I could do without Lacey.
Agree 100%
no pole dancer Lacey, please.
Annie, I love you, but NO TILA TEQUILA.
actually…I would not watch if Tia Tequila was on…as a matter of fact any of the trashy reality show ‘personalities’ The Situation or any House Wife or Bachelor-ette
Agreed. I usually don’t make it through a season anyway. The more reality “stars” the less interest I have.
Ditto. Despite wanting to see Evan Lysacek dance last season, I didn’t want to suffer through Kate Gosselin and didn’t watch any of it.
Charisma Carpenter would be INCREDIBLE. Plus, it’s time we see someone from the Buffyverse represent.
I went to high school with Charisma, and she would be “incredible” because she was a dance major in our performing arts program. She’d be the season’s ringer! (P.S. CVHS Spartans Class of ’88 rocks! Hehehe . . .)
I second this
YES. Cordelia would be amazing. but she will never get picked. JULIE BENZ would be good! No Ordinary family will surely get canceled and she has been on ABC alot with Housewives and family promos. JULIE BENZ!
I’d like to see Charisma get more exposure (gotta support a Buffyverse member) – plus after her appearance in The Expendables, I’m sure more people would like to see her!
Well if we are going into Buffyverse, how about Eliza Dushku since Dollhouse was cancelled, Juliet Landau or James Marsters just because. Or if you want to add Angelverse, how about Alex Denisoff or Amy Acker.
Charima Carpenter and Maks would be great together.
Okay, wait. I was inclined to write Sarah Michelle, but then i thought she is too good for the show. But her BFF and my other idol Shannen did for two weeks, so YES, SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR as the headliner. She can be in the middle of the lineup, where Pamela was last year
Rob thomas from matchbox twenty would be awesome!!!!!!!! I’d also love to see andy samberg or ed helms or maybe one of the olsen twins.
Or Jack White. Or Conan O’brian!!!!
…or Jay Leno. Just to see him fail miserably…again.
We should all fail so miserably……
Jack White? How about Jack BLACK?
And Gordon Ramsey…heh!
Actually, top of my wish list is Taylor Lautner. And before you “howl” it’s because he was an extreme martial arts champion as a junior. (And has no problem with his shirt off)
How about the girl who co-hosts “Wipeout” with the two Johns?