Image Credit: Frank Masi; Adam Larkey/ABCdoucheboat
noun
A male character or celebrity who is undeniably attractive, despite possessing an abhorrent personality.
Origin: Coined many moons ago in the EW offices by Idolatry‘s own Kristen Baldwin, and kept alive by News & Notes editor Meeta Agrawal, this jaunty combination of the words “douche” and “dreamboat” once again surfaced during today’s EW morning meeting.
Sample sentence: Bradley Cooper has perfected the doucheboat role in Wedding Crashers, He’s Just Not That Into You, and The Hangover, but when it comes to TV, Josh Hopkins’ work on Cougar Town and Brothers & Sisters is the gold standard.
Please feel free to try out “doucheboat” in a sentence, or nominate your favorite pop-culture doucheboats, in the comments section below!
So “doucheboat” is NOT a bigger version of a “douchecanoe”?
Also, if you were going to show a picture of Hopkins, you should’ve gone with one of him wearing one of the wool caps he got during his time on Planet Douchelon.
With It’s All Part of Being a Couple playing in the background?
I like douchecanoe
I guess this means that doucheships are the biggest douches of all.
Like a nuclear powered douchecraft carrier?
douchemarines?
Chuck Bass (aka Ed Westwick) total douceboat!
For me, doucheboat has a former/current Miller-Lite-drinking, fraternity-pledging, Topsider-wearing connotation. So it most certainly includes Bradley Cooper and Josh Hopkins (and their respective characters), but excludes all Brits.
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Personally I like douchenozzle, the nozzle really is worse than the actual bag.
I thought this was going to be for the Situation, not that I think anyone thinks he’s attractive.
Alex Rodriguez
The Situation.
Heavy on the d0uche, light on the boat.
That would totally describe Sawyer in the first couple seasons of Lost.
Sawyer wasn’t ever a douche. He always had a sweet/sensative side to him.
He charged people for medicine. He was a douche.
@trey, isn’t that just what insurance companies and actual doctors do?
So….is Don Draper too haunted and soulful to truly be considered a doucheboat?
Ken Cosgrove fits the “doucheboat” mold more than Don…except Ken’s just so…inoffensive?
Aww…I like Ken. (Especially the way he handled his competition with Pete this past yaer.)
And, as you say, he’s pretty inoffensive. I certainly wouldn’t say he has an “abhorrent personality.”
Maybe Duck is the doucheboat? I kind of wanted to deck him when he layed a hand on my Peggy.
But HOW is Duck attractive?
Can there be a female Doucheboat? If so, can I nominate Betty?
Madd-
Peggy certainly found Duck pretty attractive.
During their, um, love scenes I was caught halfway between being kinda revolted and kinda getting it. (At least during the scene where Duck aggressively went for it at first.)
Anyway…I’m sensing our collective love for Don Draper/Jon Hamm simply won’t allow us to think of him as a doucheboat if we’re trying to pawn the title off on the likes of Ken and Duck.
Well, it wouldn’t be the first time Don Draper/Jon Hamm affected my judgement (see, my extreme hatred of Betty).
Yes he is, Ceballos. And Pete may not be boat enough. Roger certainly fits into the elder doucheboat category, though. (And by older, I mean guys not that much older than I am. Sigh.)
“If so, can I nominate Betty?”
Maybe we can nominate you instead.
Haunted and soulful? Give me a break. More like sociopathic and disease ridden.
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Gregory House is the epitome of doucheboat.
Really? He’s attractive, but I wouldn’t say he fit the dreamboat category.
Yeah, he’s a doucheboat.
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This perfectly describes about half the guys I went to school with.
Hey, I’d go so far as to say it describes half the guys I’ve dated.
I think only one of my exes qualifies as a doucheboat. Maybe two, depending on how far you’re willing to stretch the “boat” descriptor. But the guys (and girls) I graduated with? Yeah, total doucheboats.
Josh Hopkins on Private Practice was a total doucheboat.
I think we can put Jude Law in this category as well. He just loves playing the same role (plus they pay well!), but truly Jude is one of the most curious, oily characters in show business and I kinda don’t get him or the hype.
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Gerard Butler in “The Ugly Truth”.
Probably also describes Colin Farrell back in his bad boy days.
I would like to nominate Eddie Cibrian. The name “douche-boat” suits him to a tee..
Douche–as a prefix or a standalone word–has kind of run its course. It’s become so pervasive that it no longer packs a punch. Is a guy mildly inconsiderate, a total monster, or somewhere in between? Doesn’t matter, because he’ll be labeled a douche-bag/boat/whatever.