'Karate Kid' sequel in the works: We've got the plot all worked out!

In what might be the biggest “Well, duh” of the week, as Hollywood Insider’s Nicole Sperling reports, Columbia Pictures is planning a sequel to The Kung Fu Karate Kid, seeing as the Will and Jada Smith-produced, Jaden Smith-starring remake to the 1984 original kicked such serious butt at the box office last weekend. They don’t have a script or story yet, but that’s where I come in. I’ve got the plot all worked out.

Since the current movie takes place in China (therefore borrowing the whole underdog-fish-out-of-water story line from the original Karate Kid II), the sequel should find Dre, his mama, and Mr. Han headin’ back to the States. Specifically, they will drop anchor in California (tax rebates, every actor lives there, great crews — it’s a win-win!), where Dre would befriend a pack of karate-choppin’ kids who hang out at a zen joint in the Valley called the Mr. Miyagi Karate Academy, run by none other than Daniel LaRusso and his high school sweetheart (now wife), Ali Mills. Every once in a while, a buff chick called Julie Pierce wanders in to visit the place named after her beloved late sensei, though since she won two Oscars retired from the sport to open a boxing studio, she doesn’t do much martial arting anymore. Dre and Mr. Han will try to convince Daniel-san to transform the Academy into a pan-martial arts center incorporating both karate and kung fu. Because Mr. Miyagi, bless his generous heart, would have wanted it that way, they say, even though they never met him, but whatevs.

Daniel-san says “Well, oooookay.” But he doesn’t have the money to hire contractors to expand the joint, even with the cash he’s made moonlighting as a bonsai tree trimmer. So Ali suggests that the gang organizes — oh yes — a tournament in which LaRusso’s most promising karate students and Mr. Han’s kung fu-ers face off in the spirit of peace. No winners, no losers, just fine athleticism. But of course scowling bastard Johnny Lawrence, who’s now living in a cardboard box on Hollywood Blvd. and is still smarting over that epic ass-whooping scrawny little Daniel-san laid on him 26 years ago, gets wind of the event and places an out-for-blood ringer on the karate team. No one figures it out until blood has been shed in the ring, and in the final, nail-biting sequence, Daniel-san will teach Dre the crane to resort peace to the event. And also the world. Meanwhile, Mr. Han runs after Johnny and gives him the Jackie Chan beat-down of of lifetime. As payment for his misdeeds, Johnny must clean the toilets at the Academy with a toothbrush. Only then will he learn to welcome peace and forgiveness into his cold, black heart. The End.

Hey, I think I’m on to something. Don’t you?

Read more:
‘Karate Kid’ sequel: ‘We’ve been talking about it for weeks.’
Box office: ‘Karate Kid’ kicks up $56 million; dominates ‘A-Team,’ resurrects summer b.o.
Do you remember ‘Karate Kid’ jerk, Billy Zabka?

Comments (22 total) Add your comment
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  • Josie

    Started to sound like Crocodile Dundee there for a second, be careful of that!

    • Ceballos

      Careful with mentioning Dundee…you’ll give a particularly unimaginative movie exec an idea for his next “reboot.”

      Oh oh…it’s already rushing into my head…Ryan Kwanten IS Crocodile Dundee…Spring 2013!

      • Madd

        Don’t tell Kirk Lazarus you disapprove of Crocodile Dundee.

      • Ceballos

        Kirk Lazarus doesn’t break character until after the DVD commentary track is done, so I should be fine for a while.

    • Martha

      The new TickleMe Plant MOVES like that Karate Kid when you Tickle IT!
      The leaves instantly fold and even the branches droop when Tickled! Just search TickleMe Plant Greenhouse

  • Ceballos

    I honestly think you put more thought into this post than whoever said, “Hey, let’s remake ‘The Karate Kid’ with Will Smith’s son.”

    • kelly

      I hope that they change the entire “plot” of the sequel. What I just read was HORRIBLE!! Not to mention SOOOOOO CHEESY!! The movie will SUCK!! Hopefully they’ll realize that the director was thinking in the right direction. He hopes that the sequel goes in an entirely different direction than the 1980′s movies. I mean, come on! No disrespect but the karate in the originals is no where near what karate really was, is. U CAN’T compare karate and kung-fu! u just can’t. This “plot” SUCKS!! Let EVERYONE know! It should really go in a different direction and have nothing to do with Daniel-san!!

      • Brian S.

        The whole sequel “plot” is a joke kelly, relax…… jeez oh and the new karate kid sucks, it doesn’t have the same heart as the original.

  • Madd

    The only good thing about this is the possibility of a “Wax On, **** Off” sequel.

  • UGH

    It must be a slow newsday if EW has to post two stories about such a crappy franchise. It reminds me think of Twilight.

    • C.K. Dexter

      It doesn’t really remind me think of Twilight. Sorry.

      • UGH

        Go $&@# yourself.
        You know this crappy site doesn’t have an edit function. Now go beat off to your shirtless Lautner pics.

  • brian

    Started too sound like rocky v at first. Sounds like a good movie to make.

  • Stacie

    Anything with Elizabeth Shue. “Come on Daniel, be strong!”

  • stephen

    Please, dear god, let them include Peter Cetera’s “The Glory of Love”. Just keep Jaden and Will Smith far from it. No need to hear that song rapped.

  • Ebenezer

    Well, the remake is a good one, if they can possibly make a better sequel of the remake, I’d say bring it on!

  • Brian S.

    I’m all for this plot as we hear the line “Johnny you’re a cream puff!”

  • Brian S.

    oops, I meant as long as we hear the line…. Hope the grammar police aren’t reading!

  • Samantha

    I found a plant that does what the Karate kid does..Its called a tickleme plant if you tickle it, the plants bends its branches down like a karate move
    Found the TickleMe Plant on line

  • Michael M.

    I definatly think your on too something.I too have been recently thinking of a plot story line to reunite the original cast members,and to my surprise you laid out my plot almost identically.Althought there are some differences.First I would like a story line that brings back mostly all of the characters,Johnny,tommy,bobby,and Dutch!I totally agree with the karate school idea and alli as the wife!(thought i invented a brilliant idea until i read that you beat me to it).But why make johnny the villan?I like to think Johnny and daniel maybe go in as partners in “Miaggi Do Karate”another idea i thought was unique.and my version too had this well trained ringer inserted in johnny and Daniels sons(who are Good friends as well as karate students of thier fathers!)High school,put there by Mike Barnes!remember him from the poorly written and unbelievably weak and silly plotted Karate kid three?!My i dea creates his student to be a menace to Daniel and Johnny”s sons As well as him still being a menace to daniel and now Johnny(who I would have loved to see help Daniel in Karate kid 3 contend with this new Menace)any way The cast from the origanal was so good and so hard working ,I was very dissappointed to see they really did not return for any sequels!all of them(from the original Karate kid movie)helped make that movie a hit and they all deserve to be in an updated storyline about the karate kid and Johnny deserves the spotlight as a good guy now!Think Im on to something? conatct my email and we can brain storm

  • razor

    how about a sequel where the haters of the KK movie kidnap Dre and keeps him hostage somewhere in japan. guarded by ninja’s and samurai’s. Mr han teaches kung fu to wen wen han and she flies to japan to save his ass :P

  • Kristel

    My family has been at USA Karate for over ten years and we would reoemmcnd it to anyone and we do! My children love the family atmosphere and all the fellow students there. Besides teaching traditional karate, Shihan Joni Sharrah imparts good lessons on values, character, teamwork, and responsibility in her students. Our dojo has a feeling of support for not only the students and their families, but for the community too.

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