Scientists (and Michael Slezak) are still struggling to understand exactly what went wrong with this last season of American Idol. Was it the lack of talent? Was it all the judicial activism? Was it just the cultural hangover from the unbeatable season 8? Well, my friends, wonder no longer: it’s the homosexuality, stupid! According to Gary McCullough, the director of Christian Newswire and probably a laugh riot at parties, Idol‘s ratings decline is directly linked to Ellen DeGeneres, who spent the whole season rubbing her lesbian activism right in our helpless faces.
Yes, the charming McCullough (who has an adorable smile that will haunt your children’s nightmares) thinks that America just doesn’t like to see “alternate lifestyles” in its family programming. And how did Ms. DeGeneres go about her brilliant plan of turning the once relentlessly-hetero Idol into the reality show version of Fire Island? Well, there was that time she said, “Yes, I have loved a woman.” And, you know, all the other gay stuff she did. Gay stuff! Gay Panic! Screech!
“I can hear the bloggers loading their homophobe-blasters,” McCullough writes, “but think this through with me: If one of the judges was an abortion activist, or a political right winger — and continued to insert comments in line with their activism — the same criticism would be true, and the show would suffer. The advice, ‘Shut up and sing!’ comes to mind.” (Pause. Think of the puns we missed out on by the producers’ choice to not have an abortion activist judge! “Big Mike, I support the right to choose, and I would have chosen to terminate your last performance in utero.” Zing!)
Now, not to get all blogger here, but allow me for a moment to load up my homophobe-blaster, which I keep in my desk right next to my anti-anti-semite rocket launcher and my pack of anti-misogyny grenades. Calling someone a “lesbian activist” just because they’re an out-and-proud, happily married gay woman is like me calling Gary McCullough a “crazy christian centaur who will steal your children from their beds if you don’t rub lamb’s blood on their doorway” just because he’s rude. Hyperbole much, Gare Bear?
For that matter, yeesh, look at the TV ratings! The biggest breakout hit of last TV season was Glee, which is a whirling candy-colored hurricane of homosexuality. It’s probably the gayest TV show ever not made for Showtime. Or, good god, what about sitcom breakout Modern Family, 1/3 of which features gay husbands with a newly-adopted baby? (Not to mention that the biggest hit of the TV season, period, was Dancing With the Stars, which features activities the whole traditional family can enjoy, like wearing sequins, dancing, and wearing sequins.)
McCullough talks a lot in his article about how only certain kinds of “family entertainment” are embraced by the public – implicitly, the “family entertainment” that doesn’t feature any gay people. (He mentions Pixar, perhaps forgetting that Ellen DeGeneres practically built the whole second act of her career off of her vocal performance in Finding Nemo.) This strikes me as being rather unfair. After all, the most popular sitcom in America stars an oft-divorced, oft-rehabbed convict, and America doesn’t seem to mind. And come on! Let’s not forget that the much-praised season 8 of Idol featured Adam Freaking Lambert.
So McCullough is wrong. Wrong in pure logistical business sense – the biggest new music star of the year is the flamboyantly bisexual Lady Gaga. Wrong in an actual-reality sense – we can disagree about how good or bad a judge Ellen was this season, but she certainly didn’t use her pulpit to whisper evil gay incantations into the ears of innocent American teenagers. She was just herself, onscreen. And thanks to people like McCullough (who rounds out his article by comparing her to Roman Polanski in a thought experiment so ridiculous that it made my brain implode), “just being herself” is a pretty damn brave thing to be.
Related:
Ellen DeGeneres on ‘American Idol’ tonight: What are your expectations?
‘American Idol’: Why can’t the new contestants sing?
‘Glee,’ ‘American Idol’ trump finales in preliminary ratings
Awesome article, and by the way, where can I buy an anti-anti-semite rocket launcher?
I’ll take one of those and a couple of anti-misogyny grenades please! Great article – you made me lolled!
I’ll take a couple too!
I’ll add to the compliments, Darren. Smartly written, with excellent points all around!
i just want one for stupid people and finished the rest off
The main reason that the show is increasingly unpopular because the end results of at least the last two seasons did not reflect the opinion of the majority of the viewers (Kris Allen over Adam Lambert; Lee over Crystal). Serious voters and music lovers vote only once. Doubtly they vote 2 hrs long/multiple hundred times. They might be majority in term of ‘pure’ count, but they could be minority in term of votes. How we could we know for sure that Lee had more viewers for him than for Crystal?
American Idol is a singing contest. Let’s listen to what the music experts have analyzed their performances:
“If the finals were the deciding factor, Crystal won it in a walk. If all the season’s performances were the basis for decision, Crystal easily won there, too. She seized the moment and outsang Lee at every turn.
It was a sad night for those who cling to the quaint notion that American Idol is a singing contest. Based on Tuesday night’s performances, and those of the entire season, Crystal won that contest by a mile. She would have made a refreshing kind of champion. Instead, a pale orthodoxy triumphed.”
Excerpt from Idol Meter: Eyeing the ‘Idol’ odds
Credit: William Couch, Katharine Jarmul, Kim Willis, Jym Wilson, Joshua Hatch and Ken Barnes
WITH ONE CALL = ONE VOTE CRYSTAL WOULD HAVE WON IN A LANDSLIDE: 66% VS 34% FOR LEE!
AMERICAN IDOL VOTING SYSTEM IS ABSOLUTELY FLAWED! DEFINITELY AMERICAN IDOL RATING WILL GO DOWN SPIRALLY! THE LAST TWO SEASONS HAD STRONG EVIDENCE THAT SERIOUS VIEWERS AND TALENTED ARTISTS WON’T WANT TO WASTE THEIR TIME TO PARTICIPATE OR EVEN TO WATCH THE SHOW!
I think it was the lack of green-eyed people in this seasons’ contestants. If you don’t have the green eyes represented, how can you expect to have America behind you?
Has this guy met Ramin Setoodeh? They’re from different ends of the hate spectrum but their conclusions are clear: if you’re gay, don’t expect to fully participate in life. Disappear, go away.
So forget people like this. We’re talking basic civil rights. Much as idiots would like to pick them away, we should not let ignorant people take over more than they already have.
TN that was funny! (what you said in sentence #1)
Shouldn’t Randy Newman’s “Short People” be playing in the background?
Good article I don’t watch the show so I can’t comment directly, but the whole people didn’t watch as much because Ellen is gay thing seems asanine in the extreme.
Pointless EW gay-related article #9123109324713947143. Seriously, EW, if we wanted 24/7 useless gay culture news, we’d go visit the Advocate’s website.
This is called entertainment news. Ellen is an entertainer and American Idol is on TV, that is why this website covers this. So by your thinking, everything else reported on this website is straight news not entertainment news? Grow up.
who is we? Don’t decide for the rest of us what we want to read. I like EW as it is.
agree–who is we?
Wow, okay, welcome to 2010, troll.
Troll 2010: The Year We Lose Contact. Hey, a guy can hope. Personally, whether we’re at #9123109324713947143 or #9123109324713947144 I think the article was accurate, relevant, and titled with sheer awesomeness. A major publication just called some right-wing jacknut a D-bag. Boo-frickin’-ya!
You poor, poor thing having to share the world with gay people. What will you ever do.
That is it!! Bingo! I am a gay man and I don’t want to see a lesbian on Idol, I want more of sexy Adam Lambert! Get more of him and your ratings will skyrocket!!! Yummy!
we? when did you become my voice?
This is just more right-wing, conservative BS that people use to distract from the fact that Idol is just plain showing it’s age. This season was filled with lackluster contestants, Seacrest Showboating, and the imminent departure of Simon Cowell. This guy is such a tool. He probably also hires prostitutes and has a wicked coke habit. His friends consist of Jim McGreevy, George Rekers and Larry Craig. He should probably go and play in traffic.
why would conservatives be attempting to distract us from the fact that Idol is showing its age?. Some sort of logical flaw in that.
It has nothing to do with right wing conservative anything. The guy who criticized Ellen is a douche, period. The show fell off this season for a variety of reasons, the main one being lackluster contestants, no real breakout stars. I like Ellen and I voted for McCain. I could care less about someone’s sexuality as long as they have something to contribute and anyone with half a brain can see that Ellen is kind, funny and a person that most people would call a friend. It would be nice if instead of giving this idiot any credence by criticizing him, we just ignored him.
Agreed. I’m a Christan/Conservative and I love Ellen. As a matter of fact, I believe it is difficult to find people who don’t love her.
Idol repeated several themes this year, had sub par singers and mediocre mentors. Add that to the fact that Paula was gone and Kara is still there and you get a stale show.
Maybe it was because Paula was gone…
Bingo.
You got it, no Paula is the ultimate reason. She was weird and crazy but really fun to watch. That and Idol is just getting boring and has no real Talent. Plus Randy is annoying, Ellen is not funny, Kara is obnoxious and knows nothing, and (as a result) Simon is bored. Idol is gonna be over next year with Simon’s X-factor anyways.
These were my primary reasons (though I do find Ellen funny–just on a more limited basis). No Paula=bored Simon. I didn’t watch the season, but people around the office who did said that the level of talent this season was really off compared to other seasons. So, lack of talent=bored Simon. And finally, bored Simon=bored viewers.
I agree with all that you wrote. You hit the nail on the head. Also, I checked in a few times but I thought the contestants were boring, and went back to watching NCIS or other networks. Without Paula and Simon, I’m gone too. And Ellen is NOT funny!
This.
I wasn’t so mad about the “gay actors can’t play straight” thing, but this enrages me. I half expected him to write “I’m surprised lightning didn’t shoot from the sky and kill Degeneres where she sat.”
I’m sure his pedophilia is great for America too …
lala; can you imagine how tiring it would be if gay people wrote in all the time complaining about EW’s coverage of all the straight celebrities, marriages and viewpoints. About as tiring as you are. Nobody forced you to read it.
That guy’s a tool. As you said, season 8 featured the most overtly gay contestant ever, and it was one of the most (if not *the* most) buzzed about season ever. And surely he’s a hypocrite for using American Idol (incorrectly) as a machine to further justify his morals and spread his views, and yet accuses Ellen of doing that (when she did no such thing).
Also, I would *love* an anti-anti-Semite rocket launcher!
Please.
Homosexuality had NOTHING to do with it.
Ellen was horribly “miscast” as a judge. She’s fine for her own show but not for Idol. She should gracefully bow out but that ego of her’s is way too big.
Don’t these people ever tire of saying moronic things. Countdown to his being exposed for hiring male prostitutes starts…now!
>Don’t these people ever tire of saying moronic things
The real problem is he believes it in the fiber of his being.
Why he cares baffles me.
It must “sell newspapers”.
I think your reaction is a little hysterical. What do you expect some dude from Christian Newswire to say? Don’t feed it by getting so worked up. A knowing eyeroll is all that’s called for.
After rolling my eyes knowingly (!) I also must add that Ellen was an inane, useless, unhelpful, inexpert and totally superfluous “judge.” That probably bugged people a lot more than any sly references to her lifestyle.
EXACTLY!
Ms. McCullough is so right in that people don’t like to watch “alternative lifestyle” programming. Case in point, the horrible ratings that Modern Family pulled in this year. (Which can also be deemed “family entertainment”) What the hell is she thinking? Perhaps people tuned out because the AI PTB brought in a non-musicial personality to judge a contest about signing! Can we just put Ms. McCullough and that Newsweek Author whats his name in a locked room and forget that they even exist?
Oops, it’s a guy. Should say Mr. McCullough.
I liked it the first way better.
A right-wing Christian tranny? Weird…
…
are you joking?
modern family is one of the highest rated new shows of the year and the first standalone hit abc has launched in several years.
Honey, can I introduce you to sarcasm?
Maybe if we do they’ll hook up…
If you have a problem with homosexuals, you might want to stay far away from the entertainment world, including publications focusing on it.
Ellen’s gay??!!?? Seriously, I didn’t watch this season because I have never watched American Idol. Karaoke without the booze is boring.
And you’re here because?
Umm…probably because it was an interesting headline? Geez, know where to place your sarcasm.