In the midst of planning a special Mother’s Day episode (thank you NBC for re-airing Bitch Hunter, more Will Ferrell for us!) the moms of the TGS cast and crew showed up and taught us a great deal about our friends: Danny is adopted, Liz could have been Buzz Aldrin’s son, and Tracy has no idea what his mom looks like, aside from the fact she wore red in 1984. While moms have a way of protecting us from these family secrets, they can always tell when we’re hiding something of our own. With her motherly instincts in full gear, it only took Colleen Donaghy two seconds to realize her Jackie was sleeping with Avery the altar boy (she already knew about Nancy, thanks to her spy at Our Lady of Reluctant Integration). And with that, behold the power of the moms. Since Mother’s Day is only a few days away, I’m going to go try on my “Emily’s Mom’s Daughter” denim jumpsuit, but here are the night’s 10 best lines:
“You must have me confused with someone else, I have never been to Chicago. [whispers] I sexually assaulted Scottie Pippen in 1997.” – Verna, who injured her back in a trampoline accident
“Oh, the fiddle’s in the creek and the frog’s in the kitchen — I apologize ma’am that is not a song, you make me very nervous.”– Kenneth, or should I say Carl…or Keith, right?… wait, who am I?
“These overalls are chafing…I can’t wear these pajamas fishing!” – Pajamarallscommercial, “Pajamaralways!”
“Who cares? She’s awesome and so am I. I want Serena Williams to be my mother!” — Tracy who’s real mom might be named Cheryl
“Whuck?!” — Liz ,who’s just waiting for astronaut Mike Dexter, who also happens to be the secret King of Monaco
“The night before he was shipped off to Korea, I repeatedly lost my virginity to him while Waldo the town perv watched from the bushes” — Margaret, a graduate of secretary’s school who landed a job at Sterling Cooper (holy Mad Men reference! I guess she couldn’t have had an affair with Don Draper because then she’d would have dated Liz’s Drew. Bert Cooper it is!)
“Different times! Octomom!” — Liz, at her best went shouting out random would-be pop culture references like Laura Linney made-for-TV movie titles
“Very different indeed. Like cantaloupe and a ziplock bag of mushroom soup.” — John Francis, a hotshot in New York City who pours Scotch like a woman
“I walked on your face!” — Buzz Aldrin, who doesn’t believe in barriers… because he always breaks them
“Put the mimosa down, BITCH!” — Will Ferrell, the Bitch Hunter
Motherless Tracy can be childish or over the top at times (or all the time), but the brilliance of his character lies in his own thought process, and the self-satisfied look that comes with him having an aha! moment. To Tracy and Jenna, his speech about how we can’t choose our moms “even when they’re fake,” was revolutionary. Those two are my favorite TV friends. It was fun to see the resemblances between all the moms and their kids, especially the overly proud mamas of Frank and Lutz (played by Patti LuPone and…Lutz).
Did you enjoy Buzz Aldrin yelling at the moon as much as I did? Are you waiting for your own Mike Dexter, PopWatchers? Or will you settle for a Dick Lemon? Which 30 Rock mom is your favorite?