We learned an important lesson last night: If you come across a peacock, do not let it mark you. On a 30 Rock episode that was more Liz Lemon eye roll than laugh till you pee, things never seemed to take off. Jack took a break from his two girlfriends and instead found companionship in pet peacock named Argus, Grizz is engaged to a Beyonce with an “F,” — and Will Forte guest-starred as Jenna’s cross-dressing boyfriend. If this was merely a filler before what I hope will be three superb final episodes, all is forgiven. But even though “Argus” wasn’t the greatest 30 Rock of all time, there were still some hilarious lines. Here are the 10 best:
“Word of advice: If the will says you have to spend the night in a haunted house you better hope that everybody else there is black guys and sluts .” — Liz, the new Mrs. Argus
“‘I haven’t decided yet?’ You sound like my mother talking to the Planned Parenthood lady!” and then “‘Let’s not do this in front of everybody?’ You sound like my mother being pulled on stage at a 2 Live Crew concert!” — Tracy
“Are you soaking your tampons in vodka again?” — Liz, who is determined to fit into a Vietnamese size 2
“We’re not putting labels on anything yet because the glue is abrasive .” — Jenna, who came in fourth in a Jenna Maroney impersonator contest
“…his daughter, his lovely wife, his even lovelier mistress, his secret Canadian family, and his even more secret attic family.” — Don Geiss’ executor
“We really were the Sam and Diane of this place.” — Grizz , who attended Above the Beanstalk, a free summer camp for giants
“…talking about business, politics, how to avoid getting paper cuts while making love on a pile of money…” — Jack, who is bros with Lamar Odom
“Sir, I think that there’s a lot about this world that we don’t understand, like the afterlife… or how bread turns into toast.” — Kenneth, who can make all sorts of noises of various pea fowl
“I am the luckiest shman in the world…I’d never tuck my penis again if she asked me.” — Paul, who really works for a bankrupt circus… or is an already-married cat strangler
The show doesn’t need guest stars to survive, but I found myself missing Avery (Elizabeth Banks) and Nancy (Julianne Moore) and longing for more plot progression all around: Will Wesley Snipes be coming back? Is Floyd really getting married? How short/tight will Cerie’s wedding dress be? The peacock storyline felt too silly, and Will Forte was too underused as Paul (there could have definitely been more of that “Muffin Top” performance). Hopefully we’ll get more Jenna and Paul duets in the future, because their rendition of “All by Myself” was pretty great.
So what did I miss, PopWatchers? How does Paul compare to some of Jenna’s other boyfriends? Would you want Liz to give the toast at your wedding? Who’s ready for a Buzz Aldrin guest spot next week?