Image Credit: Mitchell Haaseth/BravoSonja continues to emerge as a benign source of ridiculousness. I appreciate the meaningless of her tagline: “I have a taste for luxury and luxury has a taste for me.” She has dozey, dazed appeal, as if in a constant haze of post-coital bliss. It’s like she’s just slid out of a limo make-out session with Max before every one of her scenes. At a dinner date with fellow divorcees Kelly and LuAnn, she babbled about her love of sex. Kelly very primly stated that she was not looking for Mr. Thursday, she was looking for Mr. Right. She wants a Renaissance guy, someone who likes to drink beer and play pool and go to the Met. LuAnn, in one of her many humorless snob moments, erupted in snorting disbelief. “Drink beer and play pool!” she shrieked. “A man?!” Sonja, revealing a bit of edge, wondered about the possibility of a husband who didn’t cheat. She waggled her lifted eyes at the two ladies, hoping they’d cough up some good cuckold stories. Kelly went mum, LuAnn coughed into the fur friends on her shoulders. Sonja shrugged agreeably and searched the restaurant for a Mr. Tuesday while reconsidering her outfit. “What kind of guys can you pick up with a hunting scarf?” she moaned. She’s nuts. I like her.
The first half of the episode was classic Housewives filler. Kelly burned a spatula while pretending that she and the girls had a weekend routine of making pancakes together. (“Uh oh,” her sassy daughter Theo scribbled on her pad.) Avery looked unimpressed by her mother’s TruRenewal wedding plans. LuAnn looked at $15,000 a month apartments and gasped over unacceptable views. Bethenny made salad dressing in Brooklyn and announced to Alex’s genuine delight that she was engaged. Ginger pooped on the floor. And the couch. And a book. And a man. And a man’s plastic shoe. Jill brought “Oh my Gawd” to new nasal heights. Gloria gave us a bit of wisdom for free: “Don’t wear chiffon on Christmas day if you can help it.” I’m unsure how to apply such a lesson to my everyday life, but I appreciate her conviction. And can someone at Bravo please put together a show starring Ramona’s assistants?
Later in the episode, Kelly hosted a party celebrating New York bachelors. Her job involved not wearing any pants. Jill was hoping the leather belt on her long-sleeved dress would impress, and kept fishing for oohs and ahs from the other ladies. But then Alex showed up in a Cabaret number, Bethenny was poured back into one of her band-aid dresses, and, as Bethenny herself said, “Kelly’s vagina was hanging out.” (It really was.) LuAnn, never one to let something go, tried again to get Mario to apologize to her for his “Countless” comment. Their conversation was bearable only because they spoke in Italian, which made Ramona horny.
When Bethenny arrived on the scene, Ramona set about giving her the once-over. While surveying Bethenny’s appearance—”No bangs?” she wondered—she looked on the verge of bringing up the fact that Bethenny’s father didn’t love her just as no one in this world would ever love her, when Bethenny blurted out the good news. “I’m engaged,” she said. Ramona’s face froze for a second, and we knew not what she would say. But then there were hugs and happy hoorays! Word quickly spread to the darkened corners of the party, where Jill and LuAnn hovered meanly, reminding each other of all the ways they’d been slighted. When Kelly bopped over with news of Bethenny’s engagement, Jill’s face unfroze for a second. Jason wandered into their midst, and she gave him a real hug. All of her vim and venom from the last few episodes dribbled to the floor. There were mazels to share, carats to count, wedding venues to criticize. And here was Jill, stuck on the dance floor with LuAnn talking to a mustached and spray tanned bachelor? No fair! She wanted back in to Bethenny’s world, but she insisted that it would take Bobby to get her there. She rebuffed Simon’s entreaty to come offer her sincere congratulations.
LuAnn deigned to offer Bethenny congratulations. Though she ruined the moment by opting to whine once more about being called a snake. Her face flushed, her voice cracking (“elegance is lear-er-ernd!”), LuAnn demanded an explanation for Bethenny’s contempt. Bethenny wisely went on auto-pilot, murmuring “Thank you, I’m sorry, thank you, I’m sorry, thank you, I’m sorry” until LuAnn slithered back into the pit of bachelors. Bethenny had had enough. She wanted to go, disgusted by the evening and Jill’s inability to be happy for her. While Jason gave Bethenny a sympathetic hug, Ramona couldn’t resist making googly eyes at him. As the young couple tried to make a dash for the door, Jill stomped into the picture. She embraced Bethenny. She looked nervous. Unsure of what to say, she descended on the ring. “It’s yooooge!” she started bleating on repeat, as Bethenny’s face drained of color. Bethenny is over it. They are done.
The clip promising what’s still to come in the season was divine. Bring on the episode where Alex erupts on Jill: “You are a mean girl!” she accuses in her most clipped stage voice. “You are in high school! While you are in high school, I am in Brooklyn!” Can I please get this printed on a t-shirt?
What did you folks think? Do you like Sonja? Did you approve of Kelly’s dress? Do you like Jason? (He strikes me as enormously sensible and good-natured.) Were you embarrassed for Jill?
Sonja is just creepy.
totally
I like Sonja. She brings much-needed levity to the show. Did no one else notice that Kelly asked her first if her husband cheated, Sonja threw the question back at her, and then Kelly acted insulted that Sonja would ask her such a personal question: “A person would only ask that question if they wanted to talk about it,” she said, not realizing that it was SHE who brought it up. She is so clueless. I love the look on her face in the preview when Bethenny tells her to go to sleep. Model who? And Kelly sounded green with envy when she revealed to Luann and Jill that Bethenny was engaged. It reminded me of middle school when hateful girls would say, “guess what Jennifer had the nerve to do today! She sat with somebody else at lunch!” It sounded just like that, as if B got engaged just to steal the spotlight from them. I was surprised that Kelly would be jealous.
I like Sonja — she lightens things up & I loved how she backed up Bethenny’s comments from last year about Kelly’s inability to remember women she has met multiple times. Actually felt sorry for Jill for the first time in a long while — looks like she’s finally recognizing the trap she set for herself.
and ugly. Stringy hair, splotchy makeup, tacky clothes — can’t stand to look at her!
And has a huge nose!
I totally disagree, I thought she came across much better this episode. She’s a confident, pretty woman who doesn’t have a bunch of facework done, like so many of the other Housewives. Thank God.
Give me a break! Not another housewive without class. She is boring and a man crazy woman. If it were not for Bethenny and Alex, I would not watch this pathetic soap opera.
I totally agree. Jill and the countless are way over the top. Do they even remember high school? Or are they doomed to redo it over and over again?
With ALL that money she has, why oh why does she look like she doesn’t take care of herself? The really bad hair… odd, no?
If you read her husband’s divorce petition he alleges that she was running a call girl ring out of their home.
There is no hope for her daughter’s self-image: “Look at that body” she says about Ally, looking at a picture of her in a bikini — when she was probably about six. This was the last time we estimate Jill approved of Ally’s weight.
She’s jealous: “I wonder if she pays less because they use less fabric,” she snipes about Kelly’s dress, which was admittedly short, but Kelly’s got the legs to pull it off. Plus, the girl wants to have more babies! She’s not going to get more by making it hard to find the target!
She’s never prepared for anything: “I had no idea [Bethenny and Jason] were coming,” she says about the Gotham magazine party that Kelly, a co-star of the reality-television show she is on about a group of only seven people, is hosting. “I was not prepared for this.” She mustn’t have brought her Fighting With Bethenny cheat sheet!
She doesn’t need a reason to say something nasty: “You know, if you stick your tongue down her mouth she might let you sit at the table,” she says, we think about Sonja, but we’re not sure because she doesn’t know the woman and has no reason to say that.
She is allergic to being nice: When Kelly calls over Jason to congratulate him on getting engaged, Jill goes, “Why did she do this?” Because that’s what normal people do? Be nice? “By the time Jason came over, I was, like, numb,” she adds. “I wanted to go home. I wanted to run under my covers and hide.” What about being nice is so terrifying? It doesn’t give you as many wrinkles as scowling and making nasty faces all the time.
She has no sense of irony: “Stay out of it, Simon,” she says, when he encourages her to come talk to the other women. “You have nothing to do with my relationship with Bethenny.” But LuAnn, her very own flying monkey, does?
She can’t have other people be happy: Upon hearing about Bethenny’s engagement, her immediate reaction is to wonder how she will come off. “Now if I leave without saying anything and not acknowledging it, I look like a piece of shit,” she whined. All together now: too late!
She has no concept of other people’s humanity: She’s like a child who wonders if she is the only person who is actually real in the world. The first thing she starts talking about with Bethenny is whether Bethenny thought Jill walked away from her, not the news of the engagement or even a nice greeting. She starts giving excuses about Bobby not being there. Nobody cares! Bethenny is making very dramatic faces at you and winning by the second!
Wouldn’t it have been easier (and not to mention more ethical) to just tell people about the recap on nymag instead of copying and pasting it
$2,795,000
(NO LONGER AVAILABLE) 401 East 60th Street #30C in Lenox Hill
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6 rooms
3 beds, 3 baths, 1 half bath
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Taxes: $2,042
Reality Housewife’s elegant home as featured on Traditional Home’s May 2009 Cover hits the market. World renowned Zarin Fabrics has recently done a $300K renovation to this fabulous three bedroom three half bath apartment. Absolutely no detail has been overlooked. Soaring panoramic views with tremendous light are showcased from the oversized windows throughout, ten foot coffered ceilings, shagreen inspired walls, chandeliers, state of the art appliances
THIS ISNT UPPER EAST SIDE..ITS ON TOP OF BED BATH AND BEYOND….E 60TH ST??
WHAT A LIAR JILL IS
60th St is the Upper East Side dumbass. The UES is broken up into sub-neighborhoods to classify themselves so that all the richies know JUST HOW RICH they are. Other subdivisions include Kips Bay, Turtle Bay, Yorkville, Carnegie hill, etc. 59th to 96th. Look it up.
60th street IS NOT THE UPPER EAST SIDE///and under the 59th st bridge as a LONGGGGGG WAY FROM PARK AVE…ASK JZ…
“You are in high school! While you are in high school, I am in Brooklyn!” LOVE that comment.
I was dying at that! Sonja is so weird!
I love that Alex was reading Jill the riot act (and I hope we’re not disappointed by selective editing), but I don’t really get the comment. While you’re in high school, I am in Brooklyn. What does that mean? I mean, does it mean something other than the … obvious?
I took it to mean that Alex was a grown-up — while Jill was still engaging in petty judgments and superficial values, Alex had realized that the whole status-obsession of Manhattan was kind of ridiculous. She lives in less-posh Brooklyn, and she’s okay with it.
“Their conversation was bearable only because they spoke in Italian, which made Ramona horny.”
That recap was hilarious. Excellent job!
The entire recap was great. I think I watch the show just so I have a point of reference in order the read the recap.
What GV said.
Sonja needs a nose job stat! She reminds me of the wicked witch.
a nose in which she would look down on a person with I’m sure!!!!
Jill needs to go away, her & Luann are so rude and mean, I can’t stand either of them. Very happy for Bethenny.
I sensed that Jill felt regret last night but her pride will stand in her way.
Her pride and that nasty Luann wont let her be besties with Bethenny anymore. Sad.
It has not been a good season for Jill. And the fact that she has been outed for writing her own review on Amazon, while trashing a bad review is not going to help her.
what?? I didn’t hear that!
oh jill for shame. what happened to you?
And at this point, I cannot stand luann. She is the absolute worst.
She used another name. If you check out the Amazon page for her book, under the comment section of the first, one star review, you can see all the drama.
I just checked out her Amazon book review page and it is pretty sordid. The reviewer wrote a scathing review but outlined every reason why she did not like the book and someone (Jill?) made a nasty comment about the reviewer. It’s a big explanation but kind of interesting. Jill’s true colors are showing in a big way, and they ain’t pretty!
Pretty sure that reading her attack on an Amazon reviewer proved one thing to me:
She DOES need to get a hobby.
Yes, we all could say “it has not been a good season for her,” but let’s face it: Jill is her own worst enemy.
She wants to look good, and she blames the “editing” of the show for not looking good, but the fact of the matter is that she has said and done all of these terrible things. Even if the terrible stuff she says is only 10% of what she does daily, it’s 10% WAY too much.
She is so consumed in her own jealousy and hatred for others.
OMG – nothing surprises me about Jill anymore. That was priceless to read the amazon postings. I wonder if she’s going to write a new book about what a nutty b*tch she really is or will we just have to keep watching her train wreck.
“It was a misunderstanding!” Exactly. Jill misunderstood that her behavior was caught on tape for the world to see what a baby she is.
I’m SO team Bethenny right now. Jill and Luanne seem to be real life “Mean Girls” and it’s so childish.
Countess LET IT GO!! Your a Countless Snake. So what??? Nobody remembers or cares what Mario/Bethenny said MONTHS ago. Until you bring it up over and over again.
I can’t believe Jill iasking how she should react and what she should do and saying “I should have been there” and blah blah drama drama. Of course. It’s all about you Jill. We must have missed that.
Yeah, that’s what gets me about her. She is so obsessively self-absorbed that even Bethenny’s engagement (that she has openly wanted and wished for for a long time) is not about Bethenny. Instead Jill makes it about her.
She is so selfish it is painful to watch!
It’s like these “ladies” forget they are on camera. Jill purposely walked away, said awful things & when she FINALLY chased B down, she claimed she was just “looking/waiting for Bobby.” Simon was trying to make peace and she badmouthed him. Jill – ugh. LuAnn is a lesson in how NOT to act.Some congratulations – what a witch. You noticed she stop badgering Mario for an apology when he said, “what you said about my wife wasn’t nice.” She had no excuse. And
Kelly’s daughter name is Ted and not Theo
I’m loving Bethenny this season. For all her snark, which sometimes IS rude, she seems real. Her tears. Her heartbreak over her father and her lost friendship w Jill. I could tell she was just tired when she finally said “I’m sorry” to Luann. She had no fight in her at that point. Loving Jason! Loving Alex! Love Ramona and all her nuttiness. She’s definitely out line at times, but I don’t think she’s necessarily a “mean girl”.
Luann is so condescending and her immense propensity to hold on to grudges is what make her and Jill click so well. Ugh. Nuff said. Like who would congratulate somebody and still work in a dig- “even though you called me a snake, i’m still congratulating you.” let. it. go.
The fact that Luann has a book on manners and class and Jill has one on friendship and relationships is priceless
What was up with Ramona on that runway?At first I was scared then turned to hysterically laughing at her!OMG, and she really thought she was great because she kept fishing for compliments….
She’s gotta go.And Kelly was a model?You would not convince me of that by her look and walk on that runway!Good luck to Bethenny!
What I like about Sonja is that she seems like one of the genuinely nice ones, along with Alex and Bethenny.
She is confident with herself and doesn’t compete with the other women, which I think will really anger women like Jill and LuAnn whose ONLY thrill in life is competing with others.
I want to wait it out and give her a chance. She seems like fun!