'30 Rock' recap (pt. 1): Single and fabulous

Rock-Julianne-Moore-BaldwinImage Credit: Ali Goldstein/NBCHow do you make those tough life decisions: chicken or fish? Coke or Pepsi? High school sweetheart or hot, young news anchor? Jack compared his Nancy/Avery dilemma to being forced to choose between Lee Marvin and Derek Jeter (That’s an easy one: Derek Jeter, always), as each woman represented something he wanted from life (don’t get too greedy Mr. Donaghy). There were so many awkward triangles, I just need to dance it out, so why don’t you get on to last night’s first 10 best lines?

“As my good friend and fox hunting partner Mary J. Blige would say ‘No more drama.'” — Jack, who loves peanut-butter-and-Miller-High-Life–flavored taffy

“Then tomorrow is the wine and cheese tasting…or as I like to call it, ‘singles fart suppression.'” — Liz, whose paychecks are a different  color than Howie Mandel’s

“I’ve learned the word ‘black’ in every language, just so I know when to be offended.” — Tracy, who can even say it in dolphin

“Mrs. Doubtfire shimself could not do this.” — Liz, who attended the University of Maryland on a competitive jazz dance scholarship

“Get ready, son: All you’ve ever known is your affirmative action job and Queen Latifah Cover Girl commercials.” — Tracy

“Can we wait until the morning to fool around? Cause I’m exhausted and I got the night bloats.” — Nancy, who keeps beers wrapped in tin foil for her Amtrak rides

“And sure, people in this restaurant might think you’re my dad –“
“Or that you’re my prostitute…” — Avery and Jack, who likes jelly beans

“Tiana, Mulan, Pocahantas, Jasmine — wow, she’s right!” — Pete, whose dad was in the masons with Dave Garroway

“Jarem! Look how drunk I am! And how full of cheese my mouth is!” — Jenna, who started Jenna’s Kids, a summer camp that teaches blond girls to be mean

“Happy Birthday, bitches!” — Will Ferrell as the star of the short-lived NBC action-drama Bitch Hunter, produced by Ben Silverman

I give Liz credit for going to her local YMCA singles events, and love that Jenna accompanied her totally not out of moral support. Do you want someone who loves musicals, but will just shut their mouth when you’re watching Lost? Or do beefy forearms like a damn Disney prince turn you on? And is Jarem the best character ever or what?

For the 10 best lines from last night’s second episode “Khonani,” click here

Comments (58 total) Add your comment
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  • JLC

    Funniest line, hands down, was the bit about the restaurant having New York’s only veal tank. “It always tastes better when you can pick your own.”

  • Just Me

    I dont know why but my fav line was “Thank you Lemon but my true present is that exquisite ensemble, you look like a prison weed dealer”

    • johnny

      Yeah the prison weed dealer line made me laugh out loud!

      • will

        but I did love her card recording and the face she made after

  • pop

    i loved this episode for her trials at the singles events. that speech about what she wants in a man – i agreed with every single point. i also laughed out loud at single’s fart suppression.

  • couchgrouch

    Reagan’s pyramid. great ep…the 2nd one, not so much but still decent.

    • Bill

      Yes! I loved the Reagan pyramid. Avery must be really connected to get access to it, and the cuff links he was buried in.

  • XYZ

    I loved both episodes of 30 Rock last night, but this one was definitely a cut better.

  • Ceballos

    “Ew! Were you with both of them on one night? You are officially a John Mayer style garbage” – Liz

    Nancy: “Wow, you look like Mr. Monopoly.”
    Jack: “And you look like you just won second prize in a beauty contest, collect ten dollars.”
    (For some reason, I thought this exchange was weirdly smooth.)

    Also, Avery thinking Lee Marvin was the sportscasters who bites ladies was the first time she made me laugh out loud.

  • Al

    “This has nothing to do with the slight difference in our genders”

    • Casey

      That line cracked me up the most during both episodes.

  • Amanda

    Both of Jarem’s responses to Jenna made me laugh out loud. “That’s not that much cheese.”

    I also love Liz Lemon’s middle name.

    • J

      I don’t know why the cheese line was so funny, but I almost wet myself laughing at it.

    • will

      YES!!! “That’s not that much cheese” that guy was hilarious. Especially when Liz pointed out from across the room, that he just looks mad at me.

  • &&

    Anyone else wonder, though, what Nancy knows about Kenneth? She said she knew him from somewhere and Kenneth told her to shut her mouth, then they never went back to it. Did I miss something?

    • Temp

      I think it was because Kenneths picture is all over her home computer- From the episode where jack and kenneth broke into her house and kenneth was trying to hack her computer, but accidentally kept taking his picture and pasting it as her wallpaper, or emailing it to everyone in her contacts list

      • danrydell

        Also she knows Kenneth from when he and Cerie (sp) posed as a couple looking to buy her house.

    • a fan

      In the Boston episode Jack sent Kenneth over to buy Nancy’s house so she could divorce her husband

  • Regular Reader

    No offense to 30R fans — it’s an OK show — but I cannot believe EW provides yet another recap of yet another froufrou show, but never a recap of No. 1 drama “NCIS”!

    • internut

      it’s because EW’s reader base is under 70 years old.

      • Matthew Thomas

        Haha that was hilarious internut. But seriously the only shows on CBS that deserve recaps are Big Bang and How i met your mother. I would have said Mentalist too but its slipping in quality. Other than that all CBS airs are procedural that are clones of each other and tired hackneyed comedies with laugh tracks.

      • Cynthia

        Hahahaha good one, internut.

    • Bob

      Don’t worry Regular Reader, I’ve got you covered. Last night on NCIS a crime was committed, the team, led by Mark Harmon’s $10 haircut and bad one-liners, appeared destined to fail in solving the case, but at last, managed to pull it together at the end, solving yet another felony within the confides of the hour CBS allows. Sound about right?

      • Dav

        LOL!! Love it Bob!

      • AC

        Bob FTW!

      • Bill

        Don’t forget the continuing sexual tension between Ziva and Abby, er I mean Ziva and Tony (that first one is just in my head)

      • Belle

        Touché Bob! LOL!!

      • will

        yep, that sounds about right…FTW

      • Jasna

        Thanks Bob. You’re the best.

    • Alan

      Who the heck needs a recap of a boring crime procedural? What, you need extra analysis? Someone got whacked, they went to trail and he went to jail. Can we go back to recapping fun, bright, intelligent sitcoms now?

    • clubside

      I agree with Regular Reader. I may be old enough to have been reading EW from issue one, but that’s no reason to neglect shows that are popular in or out of “the demographic”. Recaps are also more than just a columnist covering a specific episode, they represent a space for the community to interact. I’d like regular recaps of NCIS, Castle and more, and those all have millions more watching from “the demographic” than Real Housewives and other garbage regularly covered here.

      • Doug

        Nobody is stopping any of the good folks at Shady Pines Retirement Home from getting together on Fridays and discussing the inner workings of NCIS. In fact, next Friday after your midday jello snack just have everyone meet in the common area. Cool?

  • Todd

    The Bitch Hunter playout made us laugh so hard we had to hit pause on the DVR. The timing on that was supurb.

    • Dave

      Hands down my favorite part of the whole episode. “Happy Birthday, Bitches” Fox should pick that show up.

  • Temp

    Does Nala not count as a disney princess? I mean sure, shes a lion, but she hooked up with the Lion King ….so shes as much a princess as snow white or cinderella who also were not princesses by inheritance….and she was african so she would count in the string of non-white princesses since 1991!

    • Henry

      No offense to the lions, but when they talk about “Disney Princesses” they definitely mean humans.

  • jen

    Kanye East

  • danrydell

    BTW, the Twofer nicknames were hilarious: Kanye East

    • Johnification

      “Threefer, because you’re also gay…”

  • bumblebee

    “Pete, could you tell bald eagles at the zoo to stop scaring me?”

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