'30 Rock' recap (pt. 2): No one wants to drink with their mom

Image Credit: Ali Goldstein/NBCJack Donaghy faced a conundrum of janitorial proportions, as two able bodied men fought over the coveted Tonight Shift. As clever as this  play on NBC’s real Conan-Jay drama was, the late-night jokes felt tired: Jay’s back, Conan’s on tour, I’m over it. This would have been funnier a month ago.

Liz was upset when she found out that she wasn’t invited to the weekly Thursday night Thunder, a time when the staff gets together to drink and give each other windmill high fives. To prove she is fun (the funnest!), she offered to throw a party for Cerie’s upcoming wedding, and the discussion of the impending nuptials had at least 10 awesome lines:

“The bridesmaids are you guys, Andy Roddick’s wife, my Dutch cousins, and Penelope Cruz’s hotter sister Monica” — Cerie, who sends her cardboard cut-out to parties in her place

“And there ain’t no party like a Liz Lemon party ’cause a Liz Lemon party is mandatory!” — Liz

“Does that mean you’re coming to my cabaret?” — Jonathan, who counts his Donaghy time in seconds

“In my defense, every April 22nd I honor Richard Nixon’s death by getting drunk and making some unpopular decisions” — Jack, who turned down Dick Cheney’s offer to be King of Iraq

“Just because he’d run away and cause traffic accidents and impregnate neighbors’ horses. He’s trapped here just like me!” — Tracy, who was married by Rick James

“You don’t want to mess with that stuff, Liz. Ice has caused a lot of ODs in the porn community” — Jenna, the professional singer… who’s beautiful, but doesn’t know it

“Tonight’s going to be different! There’s going to be booze, and a karaoke machine, and that Black Eyed Peas song they wrote for bar mitzvahs!” — Liz who still says “off the hook” and suffers from random bouts of German rage

“Honestly, these immigrants have a tough life, no health care, and I kind of just thought he’d die before it became a thing.” — Jack, who is an “innoventer” with a grandmother fetish

“First of all, the secret service never gave me back my t-shirt cannon.” — Tracy, who proved that invisible fences do work on people

“And don’t worry, I have a job for me at Fox…woods” — Khonani, who dreamed of hosting The Tonight Shift ever since he was little boy

Overall, last night gave us two very satisfying episodes of 30 Rock, but  ”Lee Marvin vs. Derek Jeter” was more Surf Party U.S.A. (advantage Julianne Moore and Elizabeth Banks). I can’t wait to see Cerie’s wedding, and would LOVE for Liz to hit it off with one of the pirates. Does she fit the role of the TGS “mom,” or would you like to see her going out with the rest of the crew? Is the Conan-Jay feud officially overdone? Everybody take some cupcakes, PopWatchers!

For the 10 best lines from last night’s first episode, click here