Image Credit: Mitchell Haaseth/BravoEverything is inside out and upside down this season. Jill and Bethenny aren’t speaking, Jill and LuAnn are playing at being girlfriends, Simon and Ramona are bosom buddies, and even my beloved Bobby is throwing me for a loop. The Big Bear revealed that his collection of Playboy magazine includes nearly 30 years of issues and he keeps them in his Mommy’s basement. “I go every once in a while to take a look and they’re in good condition,” he told LuAnn’s dinner table. Jill’s smile curdled uncomfortably, the poor kids tried not to yack up their steak, and LuAnn nyuk-nyukked him about adding Kelly’s spread to his illustrious collection. Kelly’s grimace at the thought may have been her sanest Housewives reaction shot to date.
I’m all for friends in times of need, but there’s no contact fuzziness from watching Jill and LuAnn play comrades. Last year’s episodes of Jill and Bethenny in the Hamptons made me want to go on vacation with my best friend. I miss those two, however irrevocably broken their union appears to be. At Ramona’s Labor Day luncheon—does buying excess retail inventory really afford a person that luscious mansion?—one of the guests tried to break down for Bethenny the source of Jill’s hurt. Said guest spoke tartly, with little sugar-coating, about Jill’s sense of abandonment. I root for Bethenny, I really do, but I wish in moments like these she was able to put down the ‘tude and take in what’s being said. Jill misses you! She feels kicked to the curb! Instead of assuming she begrudged you any of or your professional or personal momentum, take her to brunch and thank her for sticking with her in good times and bad. Toast your sudden tidal wave of good fortune! Conference call Gloria! Instead, Bethenny kept her lip curled throughout the conversation. “Who are you?” she later asked the camera of Ramona’s guest. “Are you the caterer?” Bethenny, for shame.
