Archive: March 2010 (311-320 of 604)

Mar 15 2010 12:45 PM ET

'Airplane!': Peter Graves-y things to say today

While Mission: Impossible actor Peter Graves should be remembered for each and every role — from “Narrator of USAF Briefing Film” in the MST3K-lampooned Attack of the Eye Creatures to Rev. Camden’s father, “The Colonel,” on 7th Heaven — most of us will always (and often only) know him as Captain Clarence Oveur in 1980′s Airplane! (and its sequel!) This character pretty much defined ridiculata as we know it today.

In his honor, you may wish to incorporate the following potent quoteables into your Monday:

  • “Get me Ham on five, hold the Mayo” (cafeteria)
  • “You ever seen a grown man naked?” (anywhere but public transit)
  • “Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?” (whenever, wherever)
  • “He’s a menace to himself and everything else in the air. Yes, birds too.” (if you blasphemously alter this to “on the air,” it could refer to anyone on TV)
  • “That’s Clarence Oveur. Over,” “Roger, Roger” or “What’s our vector, Victor?” (to someone you know won’t get it and who will be more than a little annoyed, to your delight)
  • “Well, not for another two hours.” (when asked for an ETA on a speciifc task; for example, my next PopWatch item)

EW once called Airplane! the No. 1 funniest movie on video. I’ll be watching my DVD this week. What about you — how will you remember Peter Graves? And which of these lines have you already used today?

More Peter Graves:
Ken Tucker’s TV: An appreciation: How Peter Graves made his mission possible
‘Mission: Impossible’ and ‘Airplane’ actor Peter Graves dies at 83

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

Mar 15 2010 12:41 PM ET

'Brothers & Sisters' recap: Hi, Kitler. Hello, Tommy.

brothers_sistersImage Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABCAm I the only one who has no idea what is happening on this show right now? After we nearly had to have a green card wedding to keep Luc in the country, his Visa poof! magically came through in last night’s episode. “Kiss me. I’m legal,” he told Sarah. Because he looks good shirtless in her satin sheets, can quote Casablanca, and knows how to fix a car, she was understandably ecstatic. The problem: Sarah had already phoned Kevin to ask him for legal advice and he reached out to someone at his old firm. A female employee there who used to have crush on him and now has a political blog or something, started the rumor that Kitty had pulled strings for Luc’s Visa and was taking jobs away from Americans. Kitty only heard about this when she went to speak to the Burbank Boosters Club and got booed by people holding up signs like “Hi Kitler” and “Frenchie Go Home.” Some blogs still don’t call to get confirmation or comment. Tsk-tsk. READ FULL STORY »

Mar 15 2010 11:45 AM ET

Is 'The Celebrity Apprentice' the silliest show ever?

I simply couldn’t go the whole day without somehow calling attention to Bret Michaels’ glistening heavage during confessional shots on last night’s Celebrity Apprentice. EWWWW.com. What makes it even crueler is that you can see buttons on a different layer of clothing than the one committing the heavage foul. His conscious choice to display heavage is thrice removed from the heavage itself. Four times removed if you count his weave-enabling bandana! And “diabeet-uhs” must have something to do with this, so I’m going to blame that, too.

In his extensive recap of last night’s Celebrity Apprentice premiere, Dalton Ross argues that Trump’s stars-out-of-their-element series is “the silliest show ever.” Though Dalton’s argument is valid in a “Sinbad, could you get me a soda?” type of way, (“It doesn’t come close to making sense on any level whatsoever — and that’s precisely why it’s so damn entertaining”), my gut instinct tells me Dancing With the Stars falls into the same category, and is maybe even a bit sillier, if only on a visual levelBret Michaels’ above heavage offense would be not only wildly endorsed by DWTS fans, but emulated, and then some, by every male dance pro. And let’s face it: My gut also wanted to try that $5,000 cream-of-some-young-guy risotto or whatever team Hard Penis was planning last night, so maybe I’m just being…silly.

What is the most ridiculous show you watch? And would you watch three hours of it instead of two?

More ‘Celeb Apprentice’:
Dalton’s ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ premiere recap

‘Celebrity Apprentice’ photo gallery: Meet the Cast

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

Mar 15 2010 11:39 AM ET

'The Simpsons': 'Mouse' or 'House'?

Last night’s new episode of The Simpsons featured a House spoof brought to you by Itchy & Scratchy: Mouse, M.D. I love the soothing reprise of Massive Attack’s “Teardrop” as Dr. Mouse abandons very reasonable catpatient-of-the-week solutions like “acid enema” and “go through wallet” in favor of following his own light-bulb instincts. Press play below. There will be violence.

The facial scruff on that mouse is really doing it for me. Anyone else?

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

Mar 15 2010 11:32 AM ET

'Sons of Tucson' premiere: A homeless man gets the creepiest job ever...and it's kind of funny

Sons-of-TucsonImage Credit: Patrick Wymore/FoxSons of Tucson last night came with few surprises in terms of plot – we all deserve an award for consuming the regurgitated story of a debt-riddled loser protagonist who gets into a bombastic situation. But it’s my pleasure to report that Tucson‘s characters (and actors) might be enough to save the show from getting a plot in the TV graveyard. Allow me to explain.

First the basics: Three parent-less boys (dad’s in prison for a white-collar crime and mom’s been out of the picture for a while) need an adult to get them enrolled in school. After a thorough off-screen search for a suitable candidate, the boys settle on Ron Snuffkin, who really doesn’t have much to him besides being a man of questionable morale fortitude who is in desperate need of money (he owes some shady guy in a parking lot $2,000 for something, but he works as a retail clerk and is living in his car). Snuffkin agrees to the one-time gig. Then, the following day, youngest brother Robby has an explosion incident at school, and the boys realize they might be over their heads. Because the series is based on the premise of a man acting as a pseudo-parent to these three boys, I don’t think it’s a spoiler to tell you they extend their arrangement with Snuffkin by the end of the episode. READ FULL STORY »

Mar 15 2010 10:30 AM ET

Check out the WNBA star who can fix your house, and your life!

When I first heard of HGTV’s new series Home Rules, which combines life coaching and home décor, I thought: Genius! Sign Me Up! What could be better than a calm mind and a beautiful house? Therapists would be so much better if they also helped you organize your closets.

I’m surprised this show hasn’t happened sooner – I mean, how many times have you watched Supernanny and thought the kids would be better behaved if they lived in a cleaner house? And don’t get me started on some of those Wife Swap freaks who look like they belong on Hoarders instead.

Enter life coach/former WNBA star Fran Harris who helps families tackle their homes and their problems. I like Fran’s approach – she’s tough love but not too mean, and certainly seems knowledgeable about how to help folks with their lives (and their curtains).

In the premiere episode (on tonight at 9 p.m. EST), Fran visits Bob and Denise Violette and their four kids in Wallingford, CT. They’re suffering from money troubles, half-finished home repairs, and some kids crashing on the sofas.

Mar 15 2010 08:20 AM ET

'Curb Your Enthusiasm': Larry David says 'pretty good chance' we'll get more. YES!

Here is possibly the best news I can imagine seeing on a rainy Monday morning: At a recent Curb Your Enthusiasm panel, Reuters reports that Larry David said “I think there’s a pretty good chance” he’ll do another season of his HBO series. “Not definite yet, but we’re working on some stuff,” he added. It’s never a sure thing that LD will decide to keep going with Curb — and if he’d wanted to end on the Costanzan high note of last year’s brilliant season 7, I wouldn’t have blamed him. But this is so much better.

Reuters leads with the fact that David has ruled out any further Seinfeld reunions, which seems fairly obvious. The reunion was one of my favorite arcs on any television program ever, but there’s no need to revisit something he’s nailed so well already. (Did he also rule out any further organ-transplant plotlines?) Otherwise, the potential season 8 is wide open. Are Larry and on-screen wife Cheryl actually together again? Who knows! David did say that the great Leon Black (J.B. Smoove) will “probably” be back, which is just wonderful. The more Leon time we get, the happier I’ll be. I wouldn’t even mind if the next season of Curb resembled Leon Black: How We Dos It, the hypothetical Leon-centric spin-off that Smoove pitched in a Vibe.com Q&A last fall.

What would you like to see on the next season of Curb Your Enthusiasm? Bear in mind: Jeff Garlin told the same panel that of all the thousands of plot suggestions strangers have given him, “I’ve never heard one funny one.” Having said that, maybe yours will be the first idea the show takes seriously…

Mar 15 2010 08:00 AM ET

'American Idol' meets the Rolling Stones: What should the Top 12 sing?

The American Idol season 9 finals are upon us, and you know what that means, right? Overpowering accompaniment from the AI band and backup singers? Check. Kara touching Simon inappropriately in front of a larger live audience? Sadly, check. And, of course, crazy-preposterous-cool theme nights!

Since, apparently, Ken Warwick and Cecile Frot-Coutaz did not read my gallery of 18 Utterly Awesome New Idol Theme Nights, the Top 12 will kick off on Tuesday night with the music of the Rolling Stones. And while it’s always scary when cherished rock standards are placed in the clammy, trembling paws of singers like Katie Stevens and Aaron Kelly, at least we won’t find ourselves subjected to the music of Creed or Hinder this time around. iTunes already has uploaded the list of 50 Stones tracks the contestants get to choose from, so I took a swing at suggesting the perfect song for each contestant.

Agree? Think I’ve killed my eardrums by blasting Allison Iraheta’s “Holiday” one too many times? Have some suggestions of your own? Then head to the comments and get your brainstorm on! And to get all my Idol-related updates, follow me on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak! Now, without further ado…

Crystal Bowersox: “Gimme Shelter” (MamaSox needs to shake up the mellow-folk vibe and get her wail on; why not achieve that with one of the greatest songs of all time ever — one that, incidentally, upcoming Idolatry cohost Dawnie “Life.com” Walton and I love to perform at karaoke?)
Siobhan Magnus: “Sympathy for the Devil” (I can kinda hear her doing the Sandra Bernhard version, y’know?)
Didi Benami: READ FULL STORY »

Mar 14 2010 11:01 PM ET

'Idolatry': Surviving Alex, Lilly, and Katelyn's ousters; searching for hope in Idol's ninth season

An ode to American Idol‘s ninth season, inspired by Crystal Bowersox’s Tracy Chapman cover from last Tuesday’s performance episode:

Give me one reason to tune in, and I’ll turn my TV on
Give me one reason to tune in, now that Lilly Scott is gone
Said I don’t want to hear Tim Urban
You got to make me change my mind

Baby I dialed for Alex, and I dialed for Katelyn too
But the tweens they texted faster, flushed my votes right down the loo
And now it’s down to Crystal, down to Crystal and Siobhan
To save the season

I know, I know…Simon would call that performance “indulgent.” Maybe he’d prefer the three-part Idolatry embedded below, in which my cohost Kate Ward and I try to make sense of the terrible, terrible things Ryan Seacrest told us on Thursday night. Our trusty producer @EWJasonAverett packed the episode with messages of outrage and sorrow that all of you Idoloonies posted on our EW.com message boards and via Twitter (where you can follow me @EWMichaelSlezak). Plus, you get to see my impersonation of a sparrow. Not to be missed! Enjoy, then share your own feelings down in the comments section, yo! (p.s. If you have any problem watching the embedded version below, click here and try viewing at our Idolatry hub, where you’ll also find archived episodes covering seasons 7 and 8 of Idol!)

Mar 14 2010 10:00 PM ET

'Celebrity Apprentice' premiere: Vote for your favorite Trumpism!

The start of another season of Celebrity Apprentice means the start of another spring chock full of genius quotes from the big boss man himself, Donald Trump — and the premiere episode did not disappoint. Whether he was flirting with contestants, talking up his own sex appeal, or demeaning his rivals, Trump was in fine form this evening. Make sure to read my full recap of the premiere, but first, share your thoughts about the episode on the message boards below, and start by voting for your favorite Trump quip of the evening. I know, it’s a tough call picking from among this six-pack of pure hilarity, but Celebrity Apprentice is all about hard decisions, people! Then, make sure to check back later for the full recap. Plus, for more Celebrity Apprentice news and views, you can follow me on Twitter @EWDaltonRoss. Okay, let the voting begin!

Image Credit: Ali Goldstein /NBC

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