Yes, we’ll be dusting off our “25 Manliest Movies Ever Made” gallery come August when Sylvester Stallone’s The Expendables hits theaters. Watch the trailer — complete with Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Mickey Rourke — and I guarantee, if you don’t already have a set, you’ll grow a pair. It begins with what I assume is a purposefully ’80s dramatic voiceover, letting us know that we can expect some classic action-Stallone dialogue and humor — and I say that with great affection as someone who applauded at the end of Rambo. Stallone’s mercenary, Barney Ross, leads a tight-knit team. I’ll let the Lionsgate summary introduce them to you:
• Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), former SAS and a savant with anything that has a blade
• Yin Yang (Jet Li), a master at close-quarter combat
• Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), who has known Barney for 10 years and is a long-barrel weapons specialist
• Toll Road (Randy Couture), a skilled demolitions expert and considered the intellect of the group
• Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), a combat veteran and an expert in precision sniping who struggles with his own demons
They think they’ve been hired to overthrow an evil dictator, General Gaza (David Zayas), but on a reconnaissance mission to the small island country of Vilena, Barney and Christmas learn their real enemy is a rogue ex-CIA operative James Monroe (Eric Roberts) and his henchman Paine (Steve Austin). They’re forced to leave their naturally female contact, Sandra (Giselle Itie) behind, and Barney convinces his team to go in after her. It looks like Stallone then strikes a nice balance of balls-to-the-wall retro and contemporary action. What do you think?
LOVE it.
I love the awesomely dopey names. I love that Randy Couture’s character is somehow considered the intellect of the group. I love that, instead of sandwiches, the craft service table was probably covered with steroids.
This, along with the post about Ahnold, has more than given me my fix for the cheesy, fun, retro-action movies they don’t make anymore. Well, except for “The Expendables” of course.
Randy Couture is the smartest guy…I dare you to say otherwise to his face.
I may not be as smart as Randy Couture…but I’m smart enough to know not to try that.
Me too!! I really want to see this movie! I don’t even need to know what it’s about, the cast alone is enough for me. It’s going to be a lot of fun!
Wow, I feel like it is 1987 all over again.
This is retro action, looks like big fun.
I assume you mean that as a compliment.
You must be in a hot tub time machine.
Please have an 80′s soundtrack!
My God I’ve missed movies like this!!!
I’ll be there, on opening night, drunk and ready to see these guys make things go boom!
My pair got so big, I had to remove my pants.
They had me at “The”.
Lmfao!
Arnold Schwarzenegger is in this movie too!!! OMG!!! I don’t know how I missed that before! What action star isn’t in this! It’s going to be awesome!!
Jean-Claude Van Damme is probably STILL checking his phone every few minutes, waiting to see if Stallone was going to call and ask him to be in this. Poor guy.
What if his head was just a giant nose?
The character descriptions sound like the “Fox Force Five” from Pulp Fiction….
I’m assuming it was a cost-cutting measure to have Mickey Rourke come right from the Iron Man 2 set and keep the same look for this one. Hopefully that means more explosions.
This movie is straight from my dreams. It’s bound to be glorious is every way possible. All we need is Jean Claude..maybe in the sequel?
it’s the bloody 80′s baby!!!
Ok this looks awesome…maybe even radical. I’m excited to see something so completely retro. Also doesn’t hurt that Statham is gorgeous
I’m there opening weekend.
I fully admit that this film is intriguing me, sure .plot will be weak but I do love those 80′s action movies…
BRING. IT. ON.
This looks like a perfect way to end a summer populated with 80s remakes!
Stallone, Willis, Schwarzenegger, Lundgren… don’t mess with the 80s!!!
Wow … Stallone … Statham … Willis … Li … Schwarzenegger … Austin … Roberts … so many awful movies …
Austin! Austin! Austin! Austin!