You’re Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to parody the most-watched TV show in the world…of all time. I’m talking about Baywatch, the hypnotic syndicated lifeguard soap that made David Hasselhoff extremely wealthy. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Paramount has tabbed the young comic writing duo to come up with a big-screen revamp in the vein of Drew Barrymore’s Charlie’s Angels. How does a screenwriter begin to research such an assignment? Watch all 242 original Baywatch episodes to master the subtle nuance of slow-motion jiggling? Spend a weekend with Hasselhoff to fully appreciate the art of self-parody? Or skim through a few episodes of the proudly tasteless Son of the Beach to make sure your irreverent take will be fresh?
The great news is that the bar is low. No one who eventually sees this Baywatch movie will criticize the script–unless the writers choose to base their film on the so-bad-it’s-bad spin-off, Baywatch Nights. In some ways, it’s the perfect assignment. It has a built-in global audience who expects only two things: beaches and breasts. As long as they honor those simple yet sacred touchstones, Gatewood and Tanaka can fill the rest of 90 minutes with literary homages to Albert Camus and Samuel Beckett.
But I’m guessing Baywatch: The Movie won’t be a Trojan horse for the works of deceased playwrights. What is your degree of excitement for a Baywatch movie and which alums of the TV series must make a token appearance in the film?
NO.
The Camus reference killed me. Especially if you consider that part of The Stranger occurs on the beach.
I’m gonna go with nightmare. Baywatch was fine in small doses when I was a kid and didn’t know any better, but to have all that campiness and cheesiness for 1.5-2 hours in a theater? Definitely a nightmare!
Cameos? The Hoff, Pam Anderson, Yasmine Bleeth and Carmen Electra.
If you want to see a funny Baywatch parody, check out French & Saunders’ spoof of it on YouTube.
Please make a baywatch movie. Bring in the hoff, Nicole eggert who played summer, pam Anderson, jeremy Jackson who played hobby, Billy warlock who played eddy, neely, and erika elenik who played shaunie. A film would be grand. Especially a bit more of an adult baywatch. But normal would be fine. With the actor who played court as the baddie. So much you can do with it. Make it come on.
Howard Stern’s “Son of the Beach” may be one of the funniest shows ever!!!!! You know these guys will just watch every episode,