Image Credit: Ali Goldstein/NBCIf there’s something more magnificent than being frozen in carbonite á la Han Solo, I don’t know what it is. A terrific 30 Rock? Well… maybe porn for women, fidelity complexes, and Wesley Snipes. No, a different Wesley Snipes. These were the 10 best lines from “Don Geiss, America, and Hope.”
“Not Seinfeld, Friends, ER exciting, more like 3-D episodes of Merlin exciting…” — Jack, who just whipped a battery at Liz
“He built GE into the greatest company on Earth, and the Earth into one of the top three planets in the universe!” — Jack, who knows Legoland is no match for the Bruins
“My addiction to prescription glasses! The fact that I suffer from attention deficit disor– Jack, your shoes are shiny!” — Tracy, whose Ben and Jerry’s flavor is Adulteraisin
“I’m British and charming, and she’s got… angles… that work for her.” — Wesley, who hates Cathy cartoons
“It’s like a black Barbie doll in Arizona! Nobody’s buying it!” — Tracy, who was supposed to ride on a Cinco de Mayo float with John Edwards
“Assatar? The Lovely Boners?The Hind Side? Fresh-Ass: Based on the Novel ‘Tush’ by Assfire?” — Jack, who’s the reason the microwave tray rotates
“…commencing eyeroll sequence…” — Liz, who knows from a Lizaster
“At one point my obituary was going to read ‘CEO of GE dies violently in casino orgy’!” — Jack, who’s settling
“What if women had a pay-per-view channel featuring handsome men patiently listening to them? What if they had porn for women?” — Jack, who’s ready to make
“I’ll see you in May! For sweeps! That what’s we call spring cleaning in England!” — Wesley… Snipes
All that and Kenneth playing the organ? Win, win, win, a thousand times win.
What did you think, PopWatchers? Are you like Hilary from Fresh Prince?
Loooved this episode. One of my favorites of the season!
Solid episode, definetly much better than last week’s episode. Whatever happened to Hilary from Fresh Prince?
By the way the Bruins SUCK!!! SAN JOSE SHARKS WILL WIN IT ALL!!!!!!!!
love the faux-porn movie titles! the best (“Tits Complicated”) did not get mentioned aloud.
Great episode – best line for me was Jack quoting Hans Gruber from Diehard.
I just finished watching it on Hulu. So many laugh out loud moments!
Same here — I thought this was funnier than last week’s.
ditto and last weeks was pretty funny.
So funny. And if you paused the Kabletown TIVO screen you missed more Porno Movie names Jack didn’t read out, including, I think it said…”Horny With a Chance of My Balls!” SO FUNNY
it was great. i can’t wait for spring cleaning so michael sheen can be back
I know, I’m really hoping that “sweeps” joke comes true and he does come back. Michael Sheen was soooo good on this show.
Agreeed – he was a treat to watch. I hope they bring him back.
The reveal of Geiss in carbonite was one of the best moments in the history of this show, and that’s saying something.
Does anyone remember the finale of ‘Late Night With Conan O’Brien,’ when Conan pulled the same gag with the Masturbating Bear?
That said, even if not super-original… Geiss in carbonite was still funny.
It was brilliant! It was just a great night on NBC all around – all four were fantastic.
“Its the yellow one, sweetie”… that is an honorable mention.
Fantastic episode. Wesley’s lines were all winners. I loved his rant about “Wesley Snipes.”
Also when Tracy first went off about being outed about being faithful to his wife was soooo funny. I could not stop laughing.
The whole episode was full of win.
“If you saw a picture of him and a picture of me, and you were asked ‘which one should be called Wesley Snipes?’ you’d pick the pale Englishman every time! EVERY TIME, Liz!!” That was hilarious.
Hee. It’s like the Michael Bolton rant from Office Space.
I thought that line was so funny because it’s true.
Thank you G.R. for typing out the rant. I love it! EVERY TIME! And it’s just so true.
I loved when Jenna called Don Geiss, “Dan Goose”.
that was too funny
Tina Fey came out of the closet:
Philadelphia Rules! Go Eagles!
“How did you even get a snowball?!”
Tina was sooo Philly at that moment: “Go Eagles! Philly rules! Cheesesteaks, Bobby Clark, Will Smith, your town sucks!” Also loved Wesley’s warning: “Gang-way for footcycle!” And Tracy’s released voicemail message to his wife was so funny!
Still, Jack’s Boston Rob Mariano shout-out ruled.
Loved the Boston Rob bit too-and I’m sorry to say I am from New York
Whoops meant to say sorry *to* New York, not that I am sorry to come from there. Sorry again New York!
Oh and when the LA people started talking about how great their city was and Jack just turned off their tv. Hahahaha. Priceless.
“Michael Bay, freeway, Lego Land…” – man, L.A. IS lame! I’m glad Jack turned the TV off on them.
The “cheating” angle with the released text messages saying he WAS faithful..the bed bath and beyond stuff….HILARIOUS.
I loved Little Brown–the agency for black midgets, not the publishers.
I have to compliment the entire NBC comedy lineup last night as I was rolling on the floor for 2 hours straight!
Thursday night truly is “Must See TV” again on NBC.
killer ep. and yeah, the Don Geiss/Han Solo freeze was a total shocker. almost makes me glad Rip Torn got caught drunk in that bank. who am I kidding…I AM glad.
Jenna’s quip about sleeping with black guys killing her NASCAR endorsements was great, too.
Yeah so then Tracy goes to hit on Liz so she tells him it won’t happen for several reasons “Number 2: you smell like IcyHot.”
The Icy Hot line had me “Lizzing”-I’m not even sure why…but this is why I love “30 Rock”…now I want to use this line on someone!
“You know what I have? A Sims family that keeps getting murdered.”