'16 and Pregnant' recap: One of the most wrenching episodes to date

16-Pregnant-LoriImage Credit: MTVI’ve come to know 16 and Pregnant as the show that can do a few things like no other: anger me, outrage me, and make me dislike rude teenage fathers. I didn’t think there was much else to it until last night, when the show turned me a sad, weepy mess. Let me explain.

Lori was given up for an adoption as a baby by her teen mother. In cruel irony, Lori too finds herself as a pregnant teen with an extremely difficult decision before her. Lori’s parents lobby for her to give her child up for adoption, but Lori and her boyfriend/baby daddy Cory aren’t so sure. Lori wants to experience the blood relationship she never had and Cory wants to take responsibility.

This is usually where I would talk about the awful things that the teen father says to his girlfriend or the scarily naïve questions the soon-to-be mom has about childbirth. But this episode didn’t have either of those factors, both of which are usually standard for 16 and Pregnant. There was no villainous teen dad or clueless mom. They were simply a seemingly well-adjusted (for teens anyway) couple trying to decide what was best for their child.

Lori fought the adoption option as much as she could, as did Cory. He even offered to let her and the baby move in with him, but failed to move his plans forward, which worried Lori’s parents. With the baby’s due date approaching, Lori’s mom amped up her campaign for adoption by inviting over Liz, a family friend who also gave her baby up as a teenager. The scene was a poignant look into the thought process of a teen parent. Liz called her decision to enter into an open adoption agreement her ”first parental decision” and ”the best of both worlds.” As serious as the scene was, a small piece of comedic relief came when Lori pointed out that ”Best of Both Worlds” is a Hannah Montana song, to which her mother replied: ”Just the fact that she knew it was a Hannah Montana song should make her ineligible to be a parent at this age.” I couldn’t agree more, if for no other reason than that I believe no infant should be subjected to that music.

Eventually, Lori’s dad called Cory himself (one of two parent-to-boyfriend calls we saw this episode, which was weird, yet refreshing to watch). In the conversation, Cory confideed to Lori’s dad that adoption was the only option. He later told Lori in a tearful confession that as much as he was against adoption, he couldn’t see himself properly caring for the child financially. The fact that Cory – unlike most of the teen dads on this show – wanted more than anything to be there for his son was touching. So to watch a willing teen father admit that he couldn’t provide for his child was heartbreaking.

After the first couple they chose backed out of the adoption arrangement, Lori found another home for her baby just in time for his arrival. The following scenes were the most sob-inducing ones I’d ever seen on the show. Shortly after the birth, Cory angrily demanded to hold his son one last time so he could say goodbye. Lori took it hard, crying and sobbing as she watched Cory say his farewell. Watching the repercussions of their decision unfold in such a raw way was honestly hard to watch.

The episode ended on a happier note, with Lori saying that she found comfort in the fact that open adoption doesn’t mean goodbye forever. She also likes the fact that Aiden (her son) will grow up knowing her reasons for giving him up for adoption, a courtesy she was never given by her own birth mother. She says of her and Cory’s decision, ”We both agree on one thing: This was the best thing for Aiden.”

I’ve just stopped wiping my tears, PopWatchers. Am I alone in my extreme distress over this episode? Did you enjoy the different pace of this episode? Did Lori’s parents push her into her decision too much? Sound off below, please!

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  • Allison

    I didn’t see this episode, but I agree with the “Hannah Montana” reference.

    • Hutchy

      I agree with the comments below 100%, all the people complaining about the mom pushing too hard, all I can say is this: I know tons of kids between 17-22, from many families, all levels of income, class, education…..none of them are doing anything with their lives. They have all been raised with parents who wanted to be their best friend and didnt want to “push them”, and all of them, without exception, are directionless, ambitionless, live at home losers who are sitting around waiting for a 70k job to fall in their laps, one that you only have to work 25 hours a week and can dress in flip flops and a t shirt. If that Mom pushed that daughter to make what was OBVIOUSLY the best long term decision for her and her life, good for her. Maybe if more parents did that, we wouldnt have the college educators of the world calling the current generation “teacups”: they look pretty, but crumble whenever any adversity or pressure comes along.

      • txtingmrdarcy

        Amazing point, Hutchy. I myself was wondering why it’s taking people of my generation 8 years to get a Bachelor’s degree and 10 to get a Master’s. They’re being told that they can “do anything! don’t settle!” which in turn makes them think that they’re too good for the type of hard work requred to move on and up in the world.

      • t3hdow

        Your argument sounds too much like “blame gen-Y” instead of spotting the huge pink elephants in the room. Like for one, the education system. The public school system in this country is a joke, and only the best ones even attempt to prepare kids for college.
        Also, it’s never a good sign when many college graduates (excepting medical and engineering majors) nowadays have a tough time finding a job that fits their major. Or worse, finding a job that’s worth paying 50K or more worth of college debt for the next decade. America highlights college education as hugely important, but when a lot of students go broke in the process and can’t do anything to support themselves, you wonder how valid a statement that is.
        I’m not a college grad quite yet, but the current job market terrifies me. My girlfriend can’t find even a second part time job for income. She makes a decent 10 bucks an hour in the library right now, but thanks to cutbacks and a restrictive 20-hr a week cap, she only makes 8K a year. Nobody can live on their own with that salary, no matter how independent minded they are.
        The baby boomers indeed worked hard to get where they are, but at least they had easier access to jobs and seldom had to pay over 10K to finance their college education.

      • t3hdow

        And textingmrdarcy, unless you really know what you want to do, getting an undergrad degree in 4 years is unlikely, let alone a masters, doctorate or Ph.d. I started in engineering but switched to English not because I couldn’t do the work (I’m pretty good at math), but because I loathed the major. In fact, many engineers I know swapped majors within 2-3 years, but a good half of them went on to computer science, which takes just as much skill. And don’t think English always came easy, because some of my classes I took were just as intense as my engineering ones. Plenty of gen-Y kids can do the work. Some of us just need to find our niche that doesn’t make us hate our future jobs. That, and besides the aforementioned problem I mentioned earlier, job employers nowadays expect things the baby boomer generation never had to do for most middle class jobs, like going abroad or being bi-lingual.
        Sure, some college kids are lazy, but you’ll always find them in universities. Yet too often, that’s used to discredit us instead of examining the numerous problems that makes it much harder for us to support ourselves.

      • Kris

        Hutchy, you made my day with your comments. I often feel like an evil person because I push my kids to get up, go to school, do their homework, get summer jobs, and treat adults with respect. Like many parents nowadays, I coddled my kids when they were young, but then I worked in a school and saw how lazy, disrespectful and entitled the spoiled kids in our relatively affluent community can be. I don’t want my tombstone to read, “She produced two losers!”
        On a side note, I have observed that in my community, the most driven, motivated kids seem to be the children of recent immigrants. What do others think about that?

    • Alison

      IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL FOR 16 YEAR OLDS TO HAVE KIDS!!! TIME FOR THE GOVERNMENT TO STEP IN!!!!! Women should have to show proof of income and be over the age of 21 to bring a human life into the world. IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL FOR CHILDREN TO HAVE KIDS.

      • Mary Q. Contrary

        I get where you are coming from, but let me give you a few facts, from someone who knows firsthand. I got pregnant at 16. Unfortunately, so did my two best friends, who were also the same age. One of my friends basically abandoned her son, while the other took care of her daughter, but prioritized her dating life over her parental responsibilities. And then there was me. The one everyone thought would be the worst parent. I am proud to say that I am now a slightly successful freelance writer, in addition to being a stay-at-home mother of three, and I just celebrated my 7-year wedding anniversary with the same guy who fathered all three of my kids. We both took our lives into our own hands, since neither of us had the kind of parents that were much help in a situation like that, and are very financially comfortable, not to mention raising three very healthy, privately educated, well-adjusted kiddos. So before you go making ridiculously generalized, communistic statements like the one above, please take into account that each individual human is exactly that: an individual. And labeling all teen parents unable to care for the children they bear, and too immature to take responsibility for their actions is not only ignorant, but also insensitive and disrespectful.

      • erica

        Well that is the stupidiest comment. How in the world are they going to stop kids under age from having kids and that kind of government level involvement is too close to communism for me. What if a girl underage gets pregnant, she goes to jail or is forced to have an abortion. It is pro choice for a reason.

      • Emily

        Alison – how exactly do you suppose we regulate teen birth? That is such an ignorant comment.

        My husband was raised by a teen mother & father who did a phenomenal job, since they grew up and took care of their responsibilities. It can be done.

      • Nix

        Well clearly Alison wants a congress to create, and a president, to sign a law authorizing doctors and law enforcement to arrest girls under 21 or under a certain income bracket who get pregnant, and terminate her pregnancy without her consent. Hands up every woman who will agree to this.

      • Y

        (hand up) I agree! Parenthood should be CHOSEN, not just dealt with. Look around you, look at this world, do we really need another misguided human walking amongst us? do we really need another unwanted child in the world? Come on, wake up! a 16 year old having a BABY!?? That should not be OK!!

      • Barbara

        Exactly what would you do to make it illegal. There are Countries out there that stone women, and do other horrific things, should those women find theirselves pregnant. If you are going to make that comment, what solution are you talking about??!!

  • KatyMay

    I didn’t see the ep, but I think any teen who “keeps” their baby is selfish and delusional, unless the grandparents are ready and able to be ‘parents’ again. I wish more teens would do what is right for the child, as opposed to what they selfishly want. (I want someone to love and to love me….groan…then get a DOG.)
    So I don’t care what means were employed to affect an open adoption-GOOD. And good for the child.
    t

    • Elle

      Wow, way to be totally judgmental there. I happen to have been raised by a teenage mother who was loving, caring and completely able to raise me. She did what was right for me by keeping me rather than putting me up for adoption- where i could have been in the system for who knows how long. My sister and I (who my mother had at 21) are both well-adjusted adults working on degrees at good colleges.

      • Yesenia

        There is no promise that the home a child is either placed in or adopted into will be a nourishing environment. Many are abusive. Sometimes being with a mom who has to grow up with you is better than having one that will abuse you. Also, very rarely do teens get pregnant because they want someone to love. That’s usually how they find themselves having sex which is not the same thing as having/keeping a baby. You make it sound as if they intentionally didn’t wear a condom for that reason.

      • gigi

        Totally agree.

      • Sarah

        As an adoptive mom, I find Yesenia’s comments particularly offensive. Families who are touched by adoption are rarely abusive families. I love my daughter more than anything, and I love my daughter’s birthmom for having the courage to know that she couldn’t provide emotionally and financially for S* in the way that S* needed. Please, get educated on adoption before spreading false assumptions.

      • t3hdow

        To Sarah:
        I think Yesenia made a good point, but I think she said it in the wrong way. While full fledged adoptive parents have a higher chance of being raised in a good environment, if the child winds up in a group home, it can go any route. That goes double for minorities and/or older children. That’s a big reason why adoption’s not always an ideal choice.
        When adoption works, it’s great, but when it doesn’t, adoption can be devastating for the child.

    • Grace

      I think you’re “selfish and delusional” for assuming that all teenage parents are. Adoption is not for everyone. I am 17 years old and had a baby last July and he is well taken care of. He’s usually fed every other day, you know, only if we can afford it. Is that what you think teenage parenting is like? We do more than any other teenager does: staying in school, getting a job, going to college, and taking care of our babies. You need to get a reality check and try again.

      • sm

        “He’s usually fed every other day, you know, only if we can afford it. Is that what you think teenage parenting is like?”

        -I hope this is a joke.

      • Katja

        LOL – sm, it was obviously a joke. Read the sentence following the one you cited.

      • Grace

        Yes, it was a joke. Money is far from an issue.

    • Hutchy

      Could not agree more. OF course its judgemental, judgemental is the word stupid people bust out when they dont want people calling them out on their dumb mistakes. We need a little more judgemental in our lives, everyone “not wanting to be judgemental” results in people sitting back aand staying quiet when they should obviously speak up, when someone is making an OBVIOUS MISTAKE!

      • t3hdow

        The problem is, too many people use being judgmental as an excuse to be cruel, yourself included.
        I’m not saying every teen should give up their children, because plenty of good parents start that way. While my mom wasn’t quite as young when she had my older brother, she was still 18 and despite some difficulties, she managed to pull through.
        For the kids willing to make the choice, all I’m saying is own up to the responsibilities if they want to keep the child. The only time it needs to be criticized is if they’re doing a poor job, which is unfortunately what seems to happen much of the time (particularly the teen fathers).

      • ger

        Hutchy, that is the best definition of judgemental I have ever read.

      • anonymous

        [Judgemental is the word stupid people bust out when they dont want people calling them out on their dumb mistakes.]

        Now tell me the definition of the word “irony.”

    • Heidi

      I’m really rooting for Cory and Lori to have help and support as they work through their grief and loss. As an adoptive mother who otherwise would have been childless without brave and selfless decisions like theirs, I pray that Aiden’s family will provide all the things you hope for him. And that you guys will be okay too, living a good life. My kids want to meet their “tummy mummy’s” one day and their birth dad’s too if possible and I am very supportive of it.

      With that said, I don’t have a bias that all teen moms and dads need to give up their children. Sometimes they are ready to sacrifice and would rather do so and struggle through it instead of the pain of losing their child and they fight to earn the things they want for their child, themselves, instead of finding others to do it for them. Each situation has to be judged on its own merits.

      • Heidi

        I also wanted to change the word ‘give up’ in my above comment to ‘release’ their child because I think the difference in the tone of those words is important. One implies giving away something that is unwanted. The other *at least to me) reads ‘releasing and letting go’ because it is what is best and right in that situation.

    • Alyssa

      Some of you guys are ignorant. I’m here from first hand perspective. I’m not 16, I’m now 19, but I became pregnant at 18. I was also adopted. That being said, I did consider adoption. I considered it a lot. But I decided to keep my baby. The father is not, and has never been around. I was not going to try to keep him around. But I’m glad I kept my baby. My son was born on July 30, 2011 and weighed 8 pounds 1.7 oz. He is the best thing to ever happen to me. He saved my life. Yes, a lot of teen moms don’t do right by their baby. But he saved my life. I had dropped out of high school and was more concerned with getting drunk and doing drugs every night than doing something with my life. The day I found out I was pregnant, I went back to high school, and graduated in May. I’m working a job I hate, but I do it to provide for my son. I do live with my mom, but I pay her rent, and buy my own food and everything else. I started college in October. I am a single mom, who does everything for my son. I do not get child support. And yet my son has everything he needs and more. I get him the best of everything, even if it means I am wearing boots with holes in the bottom. I am a damn good mom, and my age has nothing to do with it. If I could go back and time knowing I would get pregnant and the dad would be a complete douche, I would do it the exact same way. The truth is, it is not age that determines how good of a parent you’re going to be, its the person. There are 30 year olds out there that are financially secure and have great jobs, but are horrible mothers.

  • MC

    It reminds me a lot of Catlyn and Tyler from the previous season. They knew they couldn’t provide the best life for their daughter so they gave her up for adoption. They seem to have a better relationship than any of the other couples featured on these two seasons.

    • Yesenia

      I agree. I was a bit surprised at the reaction to this couple when there was one last season that did the same and had very tender moments throughout both the seasons they were featured.

    • kara

      That couple came to the decision on their own and were pressured the opposite direction by their family. Furthermore, there was poverty, criminals, drugs, etc in their immediate family so they knew their daughter wouldn’t fare as well as she deserved. This family didn’t have those issues. Same outcome but very different roads to get there.

    • Madd

      Agree. It’s a shame that there have only been two good boyfriends in this entire series so far. Of course, they didn’t have as many family problems as Tyler and Catlyn did.

      • megan

        I agree too…Tyler and Cory have been the most supportive.

  • C.

    Something really really bothered me about this episode and I just can’t put my finger on it. I found myself frustrated with her mother during the majority of the episode. Obviously this child was hurting and reaching out and in desperate need of love and comfort and I think that was severly lacking. At one point I screamed at my tv, pleading for someone to give this girl a hug. There unfortunately seemed to be something so disturbing about the entire episode. As they sat in the doctors office and watched Lori’s sonogram, I couldn’t help but wonder what must have been going on in her mother’s head – the jealousy, the anger, the bitterness, perhaps. And sadly, I think this is the question that plagued the entire episode for me.

    • Heather

      Maybe what was going through the mother’s head was “my 15 yo has been knocked up by an irresponsible jerk who can’t provide for himself and neither of them are in a position to do right by this child.”

      I think your anger and bitterness comments are ridiculous and stupid. Lori’s parents, both of them, showed a calm sense of understanding of the situation that other parents didn’t.

      • kara

        First off, she’s not 15, she’s a senior so 17 or 18. If you call her mother calm you must be a nut. Not yelling doesn’t make a person calm. She was still breaking the girl down.

      • Dano

        Absolute rubbish!!! The mothers opinion was purely based on being ashamed as a devout catholic that her ‘daughter’ got pregnant outside of marriage. They treated her with such disrespect and they were so selfish! I am 28 and currently 5mths pregnant with a catholic father to my baby.his own grandmother who is ‘devout’ gave him a terrible time for same reason!! It’s a pure disgrace!!

    • T

      The mother was harsh but if she wasn’t would the daughter really decided. This wasn’t a conversation they just started having during her 8th month. I think they just wanted her to make the best decision for the baby, the mother, and the family. The father, I thought, was very understanding and comforting esp during the hospital scene.

    • marissa

      I agree this had to be my least favorite episode. It just didnt sit well with me.

    • Emily

      I couldn’t agree more with C. My husband and I watched this episode and I kept thinking, is anyone going to tell this girl that they love her? Hug her? Wipe her tears? I agree that adoption was the best choice here and I truly hope she came to that decision on her own.

    • JENNIFER

      I totally agree, i think her mother was jealous she could not have children and forced her to give up her child (which will probably warp her and the child for life) Adopted children are always lacking – needing that blood bond. They almost always go looking for their real parents..God made us this way so the bond would be there. I think Lori’s so called mother should be ashamed, she definitely had the means to help them and yet she failed, and i think someone should have told Lori that there is help out there she could have got to raise her child, she could have got help from many services and found place to live until she could finish school. She should have had options. And it never matters how much money you have if you have love. Children don’t kneed to me showered with money and stuff they need their parents love. This episode sickened me. I had my first child at 18, got pregnant at 17 and now I am 34 and have 3 other children, I may have done things backwards but I know one thing……..God always provides when you have faith…..Lori’s mom had NO faith and gave her so called daughter none. I have went on to college make good money and have been very successful with my wonderful children and husband. I don’t like it when the girls on this show feel like they don’t have a choice plus I am sure MTV pays them.

      • Kara

        As an adopted child, I find some of your comments extremely offensive. I have never lacked for anything from my real parents–and by real parents,I mean my adoptive parents. They surrounded my sister and me with constant love and as a result, we are closer than most of my other friends are with their parents. They provided me with more love and guidance than I could have ever asked for and I am grateful to my birth parents for giving me up so I could be in the happy family that I am in today. I have a lot of adopted friends who have never felt the need to look for their biological parents, but I know others who have for various reasons. It’s important for people to understand that every adopted child is different just as every child is different.

        While I definitely agree that Lori’s mom was out of line, I don’t think it’s fair of you to say that her mother was jealous of Lori for being able to have children. Lori even said that her parents didn’t want to become parents again. I think Lori’s mom pushed her towards open adoption because she didn’t think her daughter was mature enough or had the financial needs to care for Aidan. None of us have been in that exact same situation so it’s not fair to judge any of them.

      • Kara

        Just to be clear though, I’m in no way advocating for Lori’s mother. I was horrified with the way she pressured her and gave her deadlines on something so important as releasing her child. I know she was a panicked mom but she definitely wasn’t an empathetic one. Lori tried so hard to be honest about her uncertainty and for that, she was attacked. Poor Lori but thank God for her father who actually offered some sympathy to his child.

  • Deidra

    This episode was heart-wrenching to watch because I was appalled at Lori’s mom for most of the show. She was hell-bent on Lori giving her child up for adoption, offered no support (making her leave/go live with Cory…come on!). What a b*t c h! She rammed adoption down her daughter’s throat…and was negative the ENTIRE time. The Hannah Montana comment was yet another condescending moment. Just because mom couldn’t have kids (I assume) doesn’t mean Lori can’t mother her biological child. This episode left me angry.

    • Jamie

      Good for the Mom. Are you kidding? Why should her parents PAY for her mistake. Her parents clearly care for her.

  • Chelsea

    How is keeping your baby as a teen make you selfish and delusional? My aunt got pregant at the age of 15 and she did wonderful at raising her baby. You wouldn’t even tell the different between her raising him/my parents raising him. I think that keeping a baby as a teen shows you are ready to put someones needs in front of your own and shows that you are ready to give up what you have always been able to do for something you got your selve into.

  • Angie

    I agree with a lot of your recap, but I’m surprised you didn’t mention the girl’s mom and her very agressive way of forcing her daughter into this decision. At times, I thought she seemed quite heartless about it. Lori summed it up best during an argument with her mom when she said “you keep telling me to make a choice but what choice is there?” I think that was completely true… it’s like the parents wanted her to come to this decision on her own, but they were so clearly forcing it on her that I didn’t buy it for a second. Also at the hospital, the mom’s helicopter parenting and forceful nature came out yet again, when the Cory was holding the baby and enjoying his first moments with the child, her mom had to make sure to keep muttering… “it’s a lot of work, it’s a lot of work.” I didn’t blame him for flying off the handle. Ultimately a good outcome for the baby, but a very painful way to get there. It was opposite of Caitlyn and Tyler in the way that this time, it showed parents so opposite of how theirs were, pushing their child a little too hard into adoption.

    • Heather

      That’s what parenting is. It’s not codling and being your child’s best friend. It’s giving them the truth, hard and harsh as it is.

      • kara

        Oh please, the woman is so far away from being a best friend. She just doesn’t want to be embarrassed in front of her church friends. You can give them the truth in a nice way.

      • Sarah

        Exactly Kara, she isn’t supposed to be her best friend. She is supposed to guide and direct her child through the challenges of life.

      • C.

        I agree, but the WAY in which she handled it was so aggressive and cold. I suggest guidance and direction with love. (Please don’t think I am saying that mother didn’t love her daughter, as some will jump to) I’m merely suggesting that perhaps her tough love was a little too frigid, when maybe what her daughter needed was gentleness and A HUG!

    • Heidi

      She definitely could have used more tact. I think blind panic was at the forefront of her emotions and it made her seem cold. I hope she’s there for her daughter now and will allow her daughter to talk about the experience, with much more sensitivity and compassion this time.

  • hanah

    I think Lori’s mother is a bully. She for sure wears the pants in the house, she even bosses around her husband. She pushed the kid into adoption which may have been the best choice but was handled so wrong and I think it will lead to a lot of regret/issues for Lori down the road. While I understand her reasoning behind not having a shower, she should have let her do it bc the girl needed something nice in her life. All the stress they were putting on her during pregnancy was abuse as far as I’m concerned. Also, I think it’s bs that Lori had ideas about what she wanted from the adoption regarding how much she’d be in the boy’s life and instead of coming to a compromise, her parent s tell the people “It’s all up to you”. So now she basically has no agreement that allows her some guaranteed access to the kid. Obviously she wasn’t going to get a weekend a month … or even a year but instead of letting her work something out with them her parents put her in a position to be cut out totally. Her parents are horrible, the mom is a tyrant and the dad is a wuss. Even in the hospital he just sits there and let’s Cory go off and talk smack about his wife and daughter. This episode was painful bc Lori isn’t like most of the other girls on the show, she didn’t party, she wasn’t a brat, etc. She was naive but I think she could have raised her kid and I think adoption was the wrong choice for her. It was like something that happens in the 1950s. Lori is acting like she wants to know about her birth mom yet, the parents don’t seem to see or act upon that.

  • kara

    Hard to watch, the mom has serious issues. No wonder the girl got pregnant, the parents don’t seem like you could talk to them about sex. How rude she was to Cory when he held his baby. I loved his death glare. If the woman is so Catholic I missed it since she wasn’t kind, supportive, Christian AT ALL. She made the whole situation about her. Off topic, Did anyone else think Lori kind of has a Drew Barrymore look from her younger days? I really did.

  • Robin

    Caitlyn and Tyler made me sob; these kids just annoyed me to no end. Lori and Cor(i) were all about their wants with little regard to what was actually best for the baby. I agree that the mom was way aggressive in pushing adoption, but did these kids have *any* idea about what “parenting” would actually entail? Cory was more into his cell phone and Lori seemed more excited about having a baby shower than an actual baby. Wanting to be there for your baby is one thing (and a commendable thing), but having the wherewithal to actually make it work is entirely another.

  • Courtney

    I agree with everyone that mentioned the mother being aggressive about adoption. I actually felt bad for Lori because it definitely came across that she wanted to keep the baby but really had no choice because her parents didn’t give her an option or any support what so ever. I understand that it is a difficult decision and what they ended up doing was probably the best for the baby and for themselves but I couldn’t help to get angry everytime I saw Lori’s parents. Especially in the hospital room when Cory was holding the baby and the mom made the it’s a lot of work comment. Was that really needed? And you could tell Cory was upset by it with the looks he gave the mother.

  • Terri

    I will say that it isn’t just teens who have babies they can’t support. My sister is pregnant at 26 with a child she can’t afford (she was told she couldn’t get pregnant so she didn’t worry about birth control and couldn’t take the pill, etc. anyways because her bipolar meds make them ineffective)She doesn’t even know how far along she is because she has no decent healthcare to cover the cost of an ultrasound. I am bringing her up for a visit to discuss her options. In all honesty she needs to give her child up for adoption. The father of the baby is an alcoholic and hasn’t married her yet. She couldn’t hold a job during her pregnancy because she was considered high risk and was told to not even lift 20 lbs. during the first 4 months of pregnancy. She has no job, is living with my mother and has no prospects on the horizon. She is seeing things through rose colored glasses but she can’t afford a child, can’t care for it and her baby daddy is in no fit state to do so either. If she keeps the baby it will be the rest of her family caring for it. Don’t even mention the fact she is off her bipolar meds for the pregnancy for the baby’s health and is likely to remain that way if she breastfeeds. You can bet I will push hard and make her see the harsh truth of her situation. It takes a hard approach to cut through the delusions brought on by the desire to love and care for your child. Sometimes though you have to face those facts and realize that as much as you love them, and as bad as you want to keep them, it is a mistake.

  • Shannon

    I can totally relate to what Lori and her family are going through. I am myself an adopted child and found myself pregnant at 21 with no job, no husband/boyfriend and unsure of what to do. The babies father and my parents were totally supportive of me and told me that no matter my decision that they would be there for me and the baby. In the end I opted to put my beautiful baby girl up for adoption. Having been raised by two of the most wonderful parents a child could ask for I knew that being adopted is not “giving up” your baby, it is giving your child the opportunities that it deserves in life. Now, 8 yrs later, my “baby-daddy” and I are married and the proud parents of a 10 month old.

    • Mary Q. Contrary

      I am sad for you. The thought that you, at 21, made the decision to give your baby up for adoption, instead of you or your “baby daddy”, as you keep referring to him, stepping up to the plate and getting a decent job to support the child. Instead you gave up your “beautiful baby girl” (again, just using your phrasing), because you didn’t feel like standing up and taking responsibility. You were not in high school. You were not homeless. It does not sound like you came from an abused home. The fact that you can speak about giving up your child, the sole reason being that you just didn’t feel like maturing at that time, and then, in the same paragraph, talk about being a proud parent, with the same man, no less, is sad and pathetic, and I feel sorry for your younger child. I can’t imagine being raised by parents who can refer so callously to giving a child up for adoption, and then speak about what happy, proud parents they now are. Yuck, and shame on you. That little girl is probably wondering why her parents gave her up, and it’s unfortunate that if she were given the chance to ask you, you would be unable to give her a decent reason.

      • Sarah

        @ Mary Q. Contrary, putting together an adoption plan is not selfish, rather, it’s the ultimate act of selflessness. To put the needs of the child before your own is the most loving thing any human can do. Shannon is saying that she knew her birth daughter needed more than she could give. In her case, adoption was the best answer. Don’t judge until you’ve been in her shoes.

      • Cathy

        Holy cow, aren’t we judgmental? You have no idea what Shannon’s situation was like. How do you know she wasn’t homeless? How do you know if she could have been able to care for a child at age 21? She did what was best for HER child at that time in her life. There is nothing “callous” about providing for your child through adoption. And then you disparage the fact that, eight years later, she is stable and mature enough to have a family??? YOU are the one who is sad and pathetic for your cruel and callous comments to complete stranger.

      • anonymous

        Take a cue from the name, people, it’s a troll. Doesn’t make “her” any less idiotic or unsensitive, but she obviously thrives on playing devil’s advocate instead of actually having a decent argument to back up her opinion.

  • TB

    As a social worker I find this series fascinating & heart breaking @ the same time. What people fail to realize is that like most things adoption & especially foster care is NOT always the happy ending that tv & movies would like you to believe. In the state of Maryland you can literally un-adopt a child & put them back into the system @ any age! If you ever truly want to see a damaged child try working with 1 who knows & understands that they have been rejected twice!!! PREVENTION IS THE KEY, POLICY IS THE KEY, ADVOCACY IS THE KEY! This couple seemed to understand the implications & possible problems they could run into trying 2 raise a child. This issue is not black & white there are definite shades of grey. There are teen mothers who have done well, others who haven’t! I’ve had kids on my caseload whose parents were 35 when they had them, as well as 12! Its ok 2 have an opinion but be open minded about the fact that this issue of teen pregnancy is complex & the teens diverse in their ability to have & raise children!

    • Mary Q. Contrary

      Amen.

      • t3hdow

        It’s funny that you agree with TB completely, yet you did a 180 and ripped Shannon apart for the complex circumstances TB described.
        Not to sound callous or anything, but maybe you need to re-think your stance on this issue before criticizing people who actually lived it themselves.

  • Denver

    I thought Cory was kind of a jerk to Lori. He should have spent more time with her talking about available options and going through this with Lori. I find most of the featured teen dads to be simply awful, MTV doesn’t highlight their parents much and they seem to need them just as much. Gary and Tyler are commendable, both beyond their years! — The moment where Lori hands off the baby to its parents was powerful!

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