Image Credit: Mitchell Haaseth/BravoEverything is inside out and upside down this season. Jill and Bethenny aren’t speaking, Jill and LuAnn are playing at being girlfriends, Simon and Ramona are bosom buddies, and even my beloved Bobby is throwing me for a loop. The Big Bear revealed that his collection of Playboy magazine includes nearly 30 years of issues and he keeps them in his Mommy’s basement. “I go every once in a while to take a look and they’re in good condition,” he told LuAnn’s dinner table. Jill’s smile curdled uncomfortably, the poor kids tried not to yack up their steak, and LuAnn nyuk-nyukked him about adding Kelly’s spread to his illustrious collection. Kelly’s grimace at the thought may have been her sanest Housewives reaction shot to date.
I’m all for friends in times of need, but there’s no contact fuzziness from watching Jill and LuAnn play comrades. Last year’s episodes of Jill and Bethenny in the Hamptons made me want to go on vacation with my best friend. I miss those two, however irrevocably broken their union appears to be. At Ramona’s Labor Day luncheon—does buying excess retail inventory really afford a person that luscious mansion?—one of the guests tried to break down for Bethenny the source of Jill’s hurt. Said guest spoke tartly, with little sugar-coating, about Jill’s sense of abandonment. I root for Bethenny, I really do, but I wish in moments like these she was able to put down the ‘tude and take in what’s being said. Jill misses you! She feels kicked to the curb! Instead of assuming she begrudged you any of or your professional or personal momentum, take her to brunch and thank her for sticking with her in good times and bad. Toast your sudden tidal wave of good fortune! Conference call Gloria! Instead, Bethenny kept her lip curled throughout the conversation. “Who are you?” she later asked the camera of Ramona’s guest. “Are you the caterer?” Bethenny, for shame.
We did get a better sense of Bethenny’s man this episode. Unlike the former Jason, he was ready to move in together, this despite the fact that his lady describes herself as “tortured, damaged, mentally disturbed.” Maybe I’m easily won over but Jason strikes me as a proper gentleman, and the first man on this show who can carry off wearing shorts. Ramona definitely approves as well. When she and Mario met Jason and Bethenny for drinks—Ramona poured into her Forever 21 dress, blathering yet again about her new do and how her hair is her sex symbol and harkens back to the story of Samson and Deli–eye—Ramona couldn’t stop cooing in Jason’s hair. Bethenny is so loud, she talks so fast, she makes my heart rate go up, she tittered in poor Jason’s unflappable ear. “I’m happy to meet you on a more intimate level,” she purred. Run Jason! Meanwhile Mario, as oozy as ever, continued to shrug over his “Countless” comment. “I didn’t say it behind her back,” he tried to clarify. “She overheard what I said.” It took her two episodes but Ramona finally mastered the expression “mountain out of a molehill” and she proudly used it to describe LuAnn’s lingering resentment.
I will hand it to Mario that he left LuAnn a surprisingly reasonable voicemail inviting her once more to their house for Labor Day and expressing his willingness to discuss in person their rift. LuAnn wasn’t having any of it though. So Jill, like the trouble-making ding dong she can often be, called up Ramona on speaker phone to say that out of solidarity she too would not be in attendance. Well Ramona can talk about her spirit’s true renewal until her eyes pop out of her head (any… second… now), but you can’t take the crazy out of this cat. She started ranting about LuAnn and the Count tom-catting all over town and what a farce their marriage had always been and she just wasn’t going to take it anymore. Not only is the woman classless, Ramona seethed. She is tacky! It’s hard to know what would offend LuAnn more but she did not offer us any insight into Ramona’s claims of her infidelity. (LuAnn has such an air of genuine vulnerability and mortification that I find it hard to believe the woman is not in genuine pain and shock about the demise of her marriage.)
Lines were drawn. It’s Jill, LuAnn, and Kelly on one side of the fence. Ramona, Bethenny, and an irreverent Alex on the other. Simon and Mario are on the salmon shirt team, while Bobby will only wear tops bearing an over-sized insignia. For notes of grace, we will have to depend on sporadic sightings of Rosie. No fool, she opted not to stay with LuAnn’s family when the Countess fled to the Hamptons. When she came for a quick visit, looking ever lovely with the season’s real short and sassy haircut, LuAnn, who bemoaned the hard work of training a new housekeeper, looked like she wanted to crawl in her lap for a good cry. Of course LuAnn is stuck being LuAnn, so even her compliments can sometimes drip with condescension. “So how do I look?” she demanded of Rosie, who smoothly patted her ego. “You look good too,” said LuAnn. “You’ve kept your weight off.” Oh LuAnn, I love you, even when you make it so difficult.
What say you PopWatchers? Can you handle the sudden bloom of friendship between LuAnn and Jill? Is Jill being kind to Kelly onto to get at Bethenny? Does Bobby’s mother need to clean out her basement? Do you like Jason?
I love Bethany but she does have some mental issues that need addressing. She is so insecure that she talks smack about everyone. It’s not being real, it’s being crazy. I think LuAnn needs to let it go and Ramona is right (I can’t believe I said that). She was all over the rags in NYC for cheating so she should have let Mario’s remark go. She seems like a good person & she doesn’t need to make enemies. Kelly is still insane and Alex is the most level headed on the show. Jill Zarin loves to be at the center of drama. Notice that Bethanny has drama with everyone, she’s going off the deep end.
At least Bethany warned Jason she is damaged goods.He is either so gobsmacked with her or he is twitchy,too, but he may regret not heeding her warning.Please!Alex and Simone can’t leave and go somewhere else without permission?Mario creeps me out, Ramona needs some medication, and LuLessaps is just a windbag.Kelly is psycho and Jill is just a mensch.Not a likable broad in the bunch, but a great train wreck of a show.
AGREE!
If you think no one is likeable, then you do not know the meaning of the word mensch. A mensch a means a good, reliable person, a stand up guy.
With grace and thoughtfulness without pats on the back and no bragging about how good a person they are. Altruism I guess
Karen, your recap had me laughing so hard, I was crying. Kelly is not attractive at all or am I missing something?
She’s a very attractive tranny. You are definitly missing something.
Rosie is the best. And Ramona can probably afford that mansion because her husband makes religious jewelry. There was this family who lived across the street from us growing up who had a daughter I was friends with. I seriously think that every time I would see her mother she would have a new diamond cross necklace.
Pray for Bethanny’s baby!
LuAnn is just really inauthentic this season. More so than usual. I was indifferent to her in past seasons but her attitude and her superiority complex is making her very unlikeable.
Completely agree.
absolutely agree with you
Loving Alex this season (but I never hated her to begin with), hating Bethenny this season (and I never loved her). LuAnn has a very arch tone, and makes it hard to empathize with her – she needs to get real. Over Jill. The new Jason is rubbing me the wrong way. Ramona is trying the hardest to turn over a new leaf, but hasn’t fully embraced it yet – she still reverts back to her old hysteria.
I’ll keep watching for Alex!
and……she does have crazy eyes but they go well with her crazy personality.
I’m kind of surprised Kelly is doing Playboy. I thought she was transgender. Do they do that in Playboy?
Did anyone else find it creepy that Jill did not let Ramona know that Ramona was on speakerphone? I thought that was completely unacceptable and creepy.
I thought it showed a true mean-streak.
Jill left it on speaker phone because….that’s what the staged and scripted show wants them to do. Poor silly women, and men have sold their souls for $$$$$$$$$$$. But..it’s a hoot to watch. I have NO respect for any of them.
It reminded me of middle school when a “friend” would call me and bait me into saying something bad about another “friend,” who SURPRISE! is on three-way. Jill should be ashamed of herself.
she did tell Ramona that she was using LuAnn’s phone, and I am sure that showed up on caller ID. WHile Jill should have told her LuAnn was there, I think she gave Ramone enough of a clue to censor her comments, to no avail.
Yes I agree, Jill did tell Ramona that she was using The “Countess” phone, so it’s not like she didn’t know that the “Countess” might be there or even hear her.
I’m glad Bethenny spoke to Alex about the logo. But really, the time to have talked to her was when she decided to go another way, not months later, when she’s holding the finished product in her hand. And I never would have thought it when the series started, but I think Alex is the sanest, most reasonable person on this show.
I think that the problem with LuAnn this season is that she is truly devestated about her marriage, and rather than being real about it she’s crawling into her “Countess/Lady of the Manor” act. By acting distant, inauthentic, and let’s face it – rather snobby, she is seperating herself from what’s going on. That’s just my observation though. I don’t excuse it, but I do kind of understand it. Being a Countess was such a part of her identity it only makes sense she would kind of fall apart with her marriage. But, I did think Mario’s comment was tactless. Love or hate her she’s having a rough time, and crass remarks like that do nothing but hurt and there’s no point for it.
LuAnn is still a Countess.
Sorry – I should have clarified a bit. I know LuAnn gets to keep the title. But losing the husband and being embarassed after writing that book had to be a huge blow.. that’s what I meant.
True, but she is still “countless”
Bethenny is just so harsh. She can’t even just listen and process that a friend who has been very good to her is hurting. She is not a nice person at all. I’m all for “keeping it real,” but that doesn’t give you license to back stab and hurt people. You can be genuine and still be a decent human being who doesn’t dump those who care for her the second some guy looks at her twice. The other women manage to have husbands or boyfriends AND friends, Bethenny. She’s a taker. Jill is lucky to be done with her.
Bethany is not a taker nor CRAZY. She is very self aware; aka her description of herself to Jason, when he proposed they live together. It is very sad that she really feels this way about herslf. What she needs is intensive therapy immediately. When you hate yourself as much as she does, you project that self-hatred on to others…hence her “constantly” criticizing of everyone and her extreme defensiveness. More importantly, when you do not love yourself so profoundly, you can not be loved by anyone else. If you do not believe that you are worthy or deserve love, Bethany will subconsously push Jason away and definitely self sabotage their relationship. He should take her announcement about herself as a GIANT RED FLAG. As wonderful and nuturing as he is, his love cannot fix her. He should take their relationship very…slow, not move in and try to help her get professional help. (If she is not already getting help) Besides that, what is wrong with Jason that he is not absolutely terrified of a woman he is in love with that describes herself as tortured, damaged and mentally ill. He really should to listen to what she is telling him about herself and also take a deep look at himself and his issues attempting to rescue her. This looks like heartache for both, waiting to happen.
Bethenny is no more crazy than any of us are — she’s just being self-deprecating & sarcastic. Granted, she can over-do it in the sarcasm department, but compared to the rest of the cast, she’s the most in touch with reality. The others are floating around in a state of self-delusion, thinking they’re actually part of the “fabulous group of people” that Jill claims to run with. But Bethenny sees it for what it is — an opportunity to promote her company and make a living. And think back – Bethenny’s feelings of friendship for Jill were true, but Jill seriously drove her away — she acted like a needy yenta. After seeing the first few episodes, I have to agree that she does need a hobby. Plus, she doesn’t want to reconcile with Bethenny – she wants Bethenny to come begging for her forgiveness but that’s never going to happen.
I disagree with the comment about Bethany. I think Jill only wants to be friends with someone when they are “needy”, now that Bethany has a man, her career is going great, and now a baby on way, Jill should just feel like she did a good job with helping Bethany in her time of need, so now she has just moved on to the next “needy” person The “Countess”. By the way the countess is a snob in my opinion, who looks her nose down at everyone “they did not address me at the countesss”…oh please, she wrote that book and doesn’t follow her own advice which makes her a hypocrite.
Jill said that she prefers the underdog, and what’s wrong with that ? There are so many people out there who want to be wanted or needed by someone else. Maybe when Bethenny was wanting Jill it made her feel like she had a purpose in life, and without a purpose for living, what’s the point in waking up ? So I see nothing wrong with Jill gravitating towards those that are in need of help or nurturing. And if I was Jason I would definitely slow down with Bethenny. In my opinion there is really something wrong with Bethenny and like alot of other people said, she doesn’t love herself enough to love someone else; that won’t work out too well.
Gotcha Josh. But I think LuAnn was actually snarkier last season. I won’t say that she’s more humble, but she’s a little softer. I think. At least so far.
Good points.