'30 Rock' 10 best lines: No one say 'Comcast'

30-Rock-Alec-BanksImage Credit: Ali Goldstein/NBCWhat a strange episode of 30 Rock. Funny in places, absolutely, but so plot-heavy it hardly felt like a trip to the TGS studio at all. The over-reliance on the inside jokes about Comcast buying NBC, a whole lot of Avery, zero overlap between A-story and B-story, and the complete absence of any of the writer characters and Grizz and Dot Com? What just happened? Here are the 10 best lines from “Future Husband,” presented with furious head-scratching.

“You’re too late! I already killed her!” — Liz, who’s totally wearing the PJs from the James Franco episode.

“Just like that movie I only saw the first 10 minutes of, Fatal Attraction!” — Kenneth, who knows everything works out

“He could be a serial killer! He could wear a thumb ring!” — Liz

“When can I start eating hard cheeses again?” — Liz, just before she’s handed the marvelous pamphlet “Hard Cheeses and Your Root Canal, Liz”

“Who’s here? I need someone to be outraged to!” — Jenna, who knows exactly what it takes to qualify for a Tony nomination

“Pacman, I’m Jewish!” — Tracy, who needs an award for tarantula misplacement

“I told you last night, why would you even want to braid my hair?” — Avery, who seriously must not know what she’s missing; having other people braid your hair is the best

“It would take the greatest acting coach in the world to make this–Fine, I’ll do it!!” — Jenna, who was a fat baby

“A loaf of backfat between a woman’s bra and her giant underwear.” — Wesley, who looks an awful lot like Tony Blair

“I’m either very happy right now, or I’m having a pretty bad donkey spell!” — Kenneth, who might bite you

It’s not that “Future Husband” was radically terrible or anything, but wow, that episode just did not click into place.

Did you love it, PopWatchers? Do you want to see more Wesley? Are you Team Avery? Do you wish that Brian Williams had had more to do than a one-second cameo?

Comments (86 total) Add your comment
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  • Mar

    Yes, there is always room for more Brian Williams.

    • Elizabeth

      …but he’s brilliant in all of his appearances.

      I am sad to see Don Geiss go, but loved the cameo by Jack Welsh. Its things like that (and Liz talking directly into the camera) that make me love this show. Very smart.

      Hope Grizz is doing alright. Missed the big fellas!

      • me

        Rip Torn is either in jail or a mental institution.

      • Ambient Lite

        One of my favorite episodes was the one where Kenneth has to clean up Brian Williams trashed dressing room.
        And Jack Welch’s presence was fun, he can bring me ‘weakness tissues’ any time.

  • mark

    I thought the episode was really good, actually.

    • Tim

      Me too. Too many weeks w/o Li Lem for my taste.

      And I’m pro Avery.

      • tvfan

        Me too. I liked that there were no overlaps for the stories … sometimes that’s a good thing.

      • Kate

        Count me in, laughed the whole time. Williams was hilarious, and dang if I don’t love Avery a little bit (“it’s a 24 hour news cycle, we don’t have time to do it right!).

    • AK

      I laughed so hard this episode. Maybe it didn’t “click into place,” but it was still funny as hell!

  • cl

    Brian Williams was the best part of this episode. I love him.

  • Scott

    Great episode, not sure what the writer was thinking.

  • chadgar24

    what about the lines that Jack reads from Gruiss Cubes, those were great!

    • Ceballos

      Yes, I was especially interested in hearing more about “negroids.” (Yikes!)

  • JenR

    I agree the episode was uneven. Funniest bit for me was how when Liz was impersonating the dentist’s receptionist she said “Cool Runnings, bobsled,” and then the receptionist actually said “bobsled” later in the show. I couldn’t believe it when I heard it!

    • llevinso

      Yeah I loved that. And then when she started “going Irish.”

  • KLH

    I’ve taken Idol off my DVR. I am going to spend those nights letting Jack Donaghy braid my hair.

    • dave


    • Jennie

      I will grow out my hair just to let Jack braid it!

  • alm034

    The mouth-flapping dub of Olympic results had me on the floor.

    • Drea

      Me too!

    • billyd

      I nearly choked to death I was laughing so hard at that bit.

    • Lara


  • JLC

    The best part of the episode, for me, was Dr. Spaceman’s commercial for Dr. Pepper. Since I’ve never seen it anywhere else, and since no one but 30 Rock fans would understand it, I assume it was (sort of) part of the episode.

    • Isembard

      Wasn’t Spaceman an SNL character? He was certainly on something before he appeared on 30 Rock.

      • Yes

        I never saw Spaceman on anything before 30 Rock. The actor may have played a doctor on SNL, but I never heard of the character before. That is what made the story so funny when he was first on. Tracy kept saying “Dr. Spaceman” and the name was on the prescription, but it was Jack who pronounced it “correctly”.

      • llevinso

        No, Parnell is from SNL, but Dr. Spaceman is a 30 Rock character.

        But I agree, that Dr. Pepper commercial was just full of WIN :)

  • couchgrouch

    it was a little shaky…the ep had new writers. I did like Jenna’s line, “if I want to see a black guy make a fool of himself, I’ll have sex with K-Fed again”. that’s just brilliantly absurd.

  • dave

    This was my favorite kind of 30 Rock, full of ridiculous random lines, and Kenneth’s donkey spells were awesome, i laughed every time I saw him in the episode just thinking about him having another one.

    • beechnut

      My husband and I had to rewind his biting spell 3 times we were laughing so hard!

  • Jenny

    This episode was so flip-flop for me. I like 30 Rock show better when it’s less absurd. Kenneth needing medication to suppress donkey spells was really dumb and way too over the top. The rest of the show was much better when they’re dealing with situations that could actually happen. And the Brian Williams cameo was amazing! He’s hilarious every time he shows up.

    • Kate from Tacoma

      I completely agree about not liking Kenneth’s donkey spells. I normally love Kenneth but that was too much. Maybe if they’d just had one throw-away line about donkey spell medication or something it would have been funnier. But otherwise I thought the episode was ok. And really, an ok episode of 30 Rock is still way better than most other shows. :)

  • TorontoTom

    So glad the show is back! Laughed all the way through it.

  • Penelope

    Michael Sheen I love you soooooooooo much!

    • Ambient Lite

      I was so excited to see him, I nudged my husband, who then said “Oh, Mr. Bean?”

    • G.R.

      I think he was much funnier as himself on ‘Craig Ferguson’ last week; but I’d like to see more of him on here — I thought he was underused in this episode. The bit with him talking about “bread back” was a hoot!

    • llevinso

      I was so excited to see him! I had no idea he was going to be on 30 Rock. He’s a really talented actor and looked pretty cute last night too.

    • Madd

      We were actually kind of sad when the original date went badly, because we’re such big fans of his. But hopefully he’ll be on more! My fiance was dying after the “bread back” line.

  • shox

    best detail was liz’s ringtone – peaches’ “f*ck the pain away”

    • JurryL

      YES! that made me laugh the hardest! also loved, “are you going to make eye water? if so i’ll go get some weakness tissues.”

    • peaches

      The best part ever! And I’m sure a lot of people didn’t even get it.

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